Elian. 

I think I died a long time ago.

My body’s still here - or what’s left of it. Strapped down. Pierced through. But me?

But I don’t think I’m in it anymore.

I am somewhere else.

Trapped. Drifting. Lost. In the dark.

My eyes are open. Or they’re shut. I can’t tell. Not an ounce of light. 

And the needles. 

Not one. Dozens.

I could feel every point. Sharp. Behind my jaw, digging into my gut, beneath my fingernails. One pressed so deep under my ribs, I forgot what painless lungs ever felt like.

I didn’t know where they started or where they ended. But they were everywhere. Draining something. Or pouring something in.

They stopped talking a while ago. The Bounds. 

“Subject's ocular system is failing. Retinal degradation. Severe. We might have lost visual response.” 

“Proceed with Z-sequence.”

Then:

“He’s near it.”

"Sequence failed." 

And finally. 

“Log time. 06:02. Termination.”

That was the moment they declared me failed. Dead. 

They were wrong.

Dead things don’t feel this much.

They don’t remember what air used to feel like. Don’t ache for sound, or scream in silence, or try to move fingers they no longer feel.

But I do.

I remember everything.

They took everything. My voice first. Then my sight. Even my pain. 

I used to be afraid of the Hollowed.

Funny. It’s the humans I should’ve feared.

A stillness so wrong it felt like sleep.

But I wasn’t asleep. I could still hear my name somewhere in me.

Elian.

And I held onto it.

Held it when they pumped thick black fluid into me. When my throat tried to scream and when I realized nothing came out. 

Minutes passed. Maybe hours. I waited. For what? For who? Death? I didn’t know. Couldn’t even wish anymore.

Then I heard it.

Footsteps.

Different this time. Not cold and careful like the Bounds. These were fast. Rushed. Almost stumbling. 

A sound. A breath pulled too fast. Like pain or shock.

A voice followed. Hoarse. Familiar.

"Sorry I am late…Again"

Felix.

I couldn’t see him. Just hear. But that voice - raw with grief, anger. 

Something tore. Maybe clothes. Maybe me. Followed by a curse - angry and trembling. “Not again. We came this far…only to…I’m getting you out…You will live…this time” 

A second voice spoke then. Calm. Cold. Not someone I knew. “He’s done already…Lets wait for the return” 

Felix didn’t answer. I heard the weight of his breath before he moved. Tugging. Pulling tubes out. One by one. Sharp stings that reminded me I had a body. 

Felix’s arms wrapped around me. The straps must’ve been undone. My weight fell into him.

I must’ve been light now. Bones and scraps.

He held me like I was still whole. 

Like I wasn’t already gone.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered "I’ve got you.”

I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. Or say thank you? 

I did nothing.

My breath wouldn’t come anymore. 

My name was slipping from me.

I couldn’t remember how to hold it anymore.

His voice faded.

My heart thudded once - hard.

Then slowed.

And slowed again.

Then—

Nothing.

He died~