[Quest: Jumpin Jackalopes!

Collect twelve jackalope antlers for ‘Grandma’ the jeweler

Reward: Quartz Ring]

I remember the lady who gave me this quest. Like the boy with his dog, the pleasant, unassuming Grandma wasn’t so difficult to talk to. Too old and stiff to go gathering the fallen antlers, she asked if I would help her collect the supplies for her latest project.

“You can find shed antlers on the ground, or if you’re handy with a sword, well, I’m sure no one will miss one or two fewer pests in their gardens…”

After finally mastering my fight or flight response to level one mobs, I feel I’m ready to tackle the next quest, and face my first level two monster.

The jackalope.

I stand beneath the midday sun on the edge of Tenderfoot Slough, heart pounding, gripping a Wooden Great Shield in my sweaty fist. I bought it from the blacksmith with the money I earned farming shroomlets for 40 cp.

[Wooden Great Shield level 3, a sturdy wooden shield.

Shield durability: 600/600]

In my inventory are 107 health potions, all I could afford with my remaining coin. And I have a feeling I’m going to need every single one.

“Welp,” I say to no one in particular, gathering all of my courage with one big breath. “Here goes nothing.”

Is this how my ancestors felt exploring the uncharted globe? I ask myself as I march deeper into the starter area than I’ve ever gone before. Expanding their territory into the unknown, facing fierce and terrible beasts…

I must be brave like my ancient clansmen. I must fight with ferocity and cunning, and risk it all to gain the riches and glory I seek (except I’m actually not risking anything, since I’ll just respawn if I die, and I even set the game’s pain simulation to the next to lowest setting, so that I experience only a small fraction of the sensation of this character’s injuries). 

But yes, I am pretty much exactly like my ancestors. A noble warrior. A killer. I fear nothing. I scorn the very notion of—

Something hops out of the grass then and sits up on its haunches to observe me, and my heart thumps wildly in my chest. I move immediately to a defensive position, shield raised.

Is that a jackalope? I glance over the edge of my shield furtively.

My word, it’s adorable. It’s as small as a shroomlet, fluffy like an Eevee, with long pointy ears, shiny brown eyes and tiny Shenlong antlers poking out the top of its head.

“Aw,” I hear myself cooing at it almost instinctively, and I lower my shield a bit. I’m supposed to fight that thing? I don’t know if I have the heart to kill such a cute, fluffy creature. 

But I must. For Grandma. She’s counting on me.

Besides, I’ve been itching to test out this character build.

“Enable skill, Shroomlet Aura!”

The words have hardly left my mouth when I see a faint haze of spores materialize around me in a spreading radius. It envelopes the jackalope in a brownish filter, and in that same moment, its shiny eyes turn red and feral. All at once it leaps at me, hissing with fury, sharpened buckteeth aimed for my jugular.

Panic!

Control it!

I throw up my shield in a motion that became very familiar to me while I was battling the shroomlets.

“Block!”

Thunk!

Right. It’s a mob just like the shroomlet. Faster and evidently more vicious, but still just a level two mob. And I came here with a purpose in mind. No matter what happens, I absolutely cannot despawn until that thing has had its health drained completely by my aura alone.

And not just one jackalope. I need to aggro as many monsters as I can if I’m going to level up the Shroomlet Aura. So there’s only one thing I can do.

I start to run. I thought I’d have to run slowly so as not to lose the jackalope, but that thing’s hella fast, and it stays right on my tail, nipping at my heels.

[-13 HP]

[-16 HP]

“Ouch!” Even with the pain reduced I feel the jackalope’s teeth.

As I continue to run from it, I manage to stir up another jackalope, and another, till I’ve aggroed more than I can count, as well as a stray shroomlet that somehow got mixed in. Those launching at me from the front I manage to block with my shield, but I have no armor for my feet and the back of my legs, which are being eviscerated by a whole mess of jackalopes on my heel.

“Dang it!” I cry as I run like a madman, watching my health drain one bite at a time. “You little shits weren’t supposed to be this fast!”

[-11 HP]

[-19 HP]

[-14 HP]

[-18 HP]

[-1 HP, poison]

While their HP drains by -0.1% per second, my health is falling rapidly. Fortunately, I planned for this. Reaching inside the quick slot pouch on my belt, I pull out a blue health potion and guzzle it down as I continue sprinting back and forth, blocking as many of them as I can with my shield as I go. All the while I feel my heart racing, not from exercise—after all my real body is still reclining comfortably inside the capsule—but simply from adrenaline.

[Heart rate accelerating. 140 BPM. Automatic system shutdown if heart rate reaches 150 BPM.]

“I know that!”

Calm down. Got to calm down. But that’s not so easy to do with a throng of rabid jackalopes on my tail, doing everything in their power to eat me.

“Aren’t you f*ckers supposed to be vegetarian?! Ouch!”

Scattered in the distance several groups of adventures stop to watch me with definitely uncomfortable expressions.

“I’m fine!” I shout when one goodhearted and particularly brave soul looks like he might try to jump in and help. “I do not require assistance! I’ve got this under control! Ow, goddamnit!”

I reach in my pouch for another health potion and gulp it down. Tastes like masochism, I think, tears running like waterfalls from both my eyes.  

Only sixteen minutes to go!

“Arrgghhh!!”

Sixteen minutes? Feels more like sixteen hours. It’s a life or death race, being chased by what must be nearing two hundred mobs at this point. I know if I make one misstep and go down, it’s all over. They’ll be on me like rats on a hot Cheeto, and strip me down to bones in a matter of seconds. And if I let myself become overwhelmed by the pressure, and my heart rate spikes beyond that magic number 150, Tina will kick me out of the game and all the progress I’ve made draining their health will reset, and I’ll have to do it all over again. 

But my perseverance is starting to pay off. All this time, slowly but surely my Shroomlet Aura has been draining their health. Now at last I see them beginning to drop off, one at a time, and turn into exp pixels. I notice their numbers thinning when I get the notification.

[Shroomlet Aura skill has leveled up.]

It’s working!

But I’m down to my last twenty potions. I need to wrap this up, quickly, or there’ll be trouble. 

I begin consciously running in a tighter and tighter circle to prevent new mobs from aggroing, all the while continuing to run for my life and chugging health potions.

[Shield Durability: 0/600]

And my shield’s useless. Dang it!

I toss it in my inventory and keep running. There’s one good thing about this whole process, I think as I feel the breeze hit the artificial sweat on my brow. At least my character’s not affected by fatigue. If I were doing this exercise in my real world body, I would have collapsed in the first five minutes.

More jackalopes are going down, they’re dropping like flies. Experience is flying at me, pulled as though by a magnet.

[You have reached character level 5]

[Shroomlet Aura skill has leveled up.]

Alright! Just a little bit more…

At last, after twenty-five minutes and sixteen seconds, the very last persistent jackalope falls dead in my wake. I drop to my knees in relief, not physically tired but mentally exhausted.

I did it. I didn’t die, and I didn’t despawn. And I proved my theory.

The aura does level up, but only if the mob isn’t hit by any other source of damage.

Eagerly, I pull up my character window and distribute the stat points I got in my level up, two into Constitution, one into Agility. Then I open my skill window.

[Shroomlet Aura level 3: A cloud of mushroom spores follows you, damaging your enemies.

15ft radius

-0.2% HP/second

Stops enemy regeneration]

I heave a sigh of satisfaction. I was worried the damage would go up slower, but with this I’ve cut the time it takes me to kill a mob by half. I’ll still need more potions, though, before I round up my next batch of mobs, and that means I need to head back to Bluebell village. But to buy potions I’m going to need coin, and to get coin—I have nearly two hundred mobs to loot.

I heave another sigh. I’m gonna be here a while…

[+92 Jackalope Hides

Crafting item, value: 2 cp]

[+56 Jackalope Shanks

Cooking ingredient, value: 2 cp]

[+113 Jackalope Antlers

Quest item, crafting item, value: 2 cp]

 [+4 Shroomlet Stems

value: 1 cp]

Pleased with my haul, I head back to the edge of town, where Grandma has her little jewelry shop.

“Oh, my, you’ve collected the antlers already?”

Already? I haven’t seen you for three days, I might say, but I’m too shy to banter, and stick to the script.

“Here are the antlers you needed.”

[You turned in items for quest: Jumpin Jackalopes!]

“Thank you, dear, that replenishes my supply nicely. Here, your payment as promised.”

[You have acquired Quartz Ring]

“Ah, but you have so many antlers left over, how diligent! These are crafting items. I can teach you how to use them, if you’re interested. For a diligent young man like you, no charge.”

[Grandma is offering to teach you the skill Jewel Crafting. Would you like to learn this skill?]

Ah, so this is the part of the tutorial that teaches you about crafting. I’ve been wondering about that since noticing the jackalope drops were all labeled as crafting items.

Curious, I pull up my inventory and inspect the quest reward.

[Quartz Ring level 2, a common gemstone set in a copper band.

+10 to MP]

An item for casters, mana points are worthless to me. But if I check her sales inventory, I see her wares are not caster exclusive. In that case, Jewel Crafting might not be a bad skill to learn. Especially if she’s offering to teach me for free. I’m going to have to be frugal, and save every copper I can to buy health potions if I’m going to keep being a punching bag for a while…

[Skill acquired Jewel Crafting]

[Jewel Crafting level 1: You know how to craft basic jewelry.

          Recipes known:

                     Antler Ring

                     Antler Necklace]

[Antler Ring level 1, a primitive ring made of antler.

+5 HP

Material required:

1 Jackalope Antler]

[Antler Necklace level 1, a primitive necklace made of antler.

+15 HP

Material required:

2 Jackalope Antlers

1 Twine]

Nothing earth-shattering. But it’s a start. Besides, now I’m curious about all the other crafting materials in my inventory. With hide, I should be able to make armor. I seem to remember the blacksmith selling an armor crafting skill book…

Perhaps it’s time I paid him a visit…