TW: This update shows depictions of murder, blood, death, and mild thoughts of suicide, and may trigger some viewers

"One day my mum was making dinner." His voice cracked at the word 'mum', but other than that, he sounded completely calm. "She was cutting something, and she accidentally cut her finger. Usually, it didn't bother anyone, but my dad was thirsty – he hadn't had anything to eat in about three weeks - not to mention how he was in a very shitty mood..." Jacob paused, and seemed uncertain as to whether he should continue.

I reached up, and stroked his cheek in encouragement. His lips pulled up slightly, and he resumed telling his story. "He lost control for a split second, and lunged at her. If she was lucky, she would have died from the impact, but..." I heard him swallow, but he didn't need any reinforcement to keep talking. "Let's just say she didn't have a good death. It's hard to forget her screams. I tried to pull him off of her, but I wasn't as strong as he was. He sucked all the blood out of her. When she died she was grey as a ghost, her eyes had no warmth, and she was curled in on herself."

"Jacob—"

He cut me off, clearly not finished telling me his story. I really didn't want to listen – it was too... I didn't even know how I felt. But I knew that he probably hadn't spoken to anyone about this, and I wanted to be there for him the way he was for me. "When he was finished with her, he was became extremely desperate for more blood. He went on a killing rampage, and killed five innocent people before I was able to calm him down. When he realised what he had done, he was absolutely devastated, and fell into a deep depression." Jake paused again, and it looked as if he was trying not to cry. I nodded at him, urging him to continue. "He tried to kill himself a few times, but it's not easy to kill an immortal. I don't think he even knows how, and I wasn't planning on telling him."

"Oh Jake, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say..."

"Don't worry about it." He placed a soft finger on my lips, and stroked them softly. The familiar electricity washed through me, but it was easier to ignore than usual. There was too much to think about.

It seemed I had come much closer to death than I had originally thought. And it must be appalling for him to look at his dad every day, and know what he did to his mother.

"How can I not worry about it? How could you not worry about it?" I asked.

"All I ever did was worry about it. But then I realised there was nothing I could do about it now, and the best thing I could do was at least try to move on."

"Please don't be upset at me for saying this, but how could you ever forgive your father for doing that?" My voice was now risen above a whisper, and it sounded unrecognisable. I had never felt so emotional before.

"I didn't at first. I lived in a small apartment for the first few months. One day he came knocking at my door, begging forgiveness. Vampires can't cry, but I could see the mourning in his face, knowing he had killed the love of his life. When they first met - and she figured out what he was from all the history books she'd read that mentioned survivors who had come across our kind - and at first, it was difficult for her to trust him, knowing what he was; but he promised her he could control himself.

He never laid a finger on her... until that night. Now he has to carry around the pain for eternity that he broke her trust, he broke his promise. I knew I couldn't just abandon him, so I moved back in with him."

"So, you forgave him, just like that?"

"I don't think it will ever be possible to fully forgive him for that, but If also know that once you lose your self-control, it is extremely difficult to differentiate your mind and your senses. He would never have willingly done... that."

His brown eyes darkened, a shadow passing over them that sent a chill through me. The shift in his gaze made him look more like a Vampire than ever before, and it unsettled me. I couldn't bear to look at him any longer, not with the pain evident in every line of his face. Instead, I focused on anything else, forcing myself to look away.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him studying me closely, watching for any hint of my reaction. I decided to pretend I hadn't noticed, keeping my expression neutral, even though my heart was racing.

"What are you thinking?" He whispered.

"I still can't believe everything. I mean, it almost feels like I should have realised this, but it's like a story book – nothing seems real."

"I know. That's how I felt when I was first told. But I remember throwing a tantrum, thinking I was a monster." He chuckled slightly at the memory, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"You're not a monster." My voice was barely audible.

"That means a lot, coming from an angel." He smiled slightly before adding, "I mean that literally and figuratively."

I grinned at his remark, before saying, "you know I don't care about that, right? Just because everyone thinks something, doesn't mean we have to run with the sheep."

"And I admire you for they way you think. I would have never been as open-minded as you are. When I first found out you where an angel, I almost stopped talking to you all together, afraid of what it would mean for us."

"But you didn't."

"No, I didn't. I cared about you too much."

"I'm glad." Very glad, in fact. If Jacob had stopped talking to me, it would have shattered my heart. It was already difficult for me knowing that our kind shouldn't be together, and I was only comforted by the fact that he liked me either way. But I was still sitting on the fence, unsure as to whether that likeness was just as a friendship, or something more.

"I don't like the expression on your face, Kay." Jacobs voice was nothing more than curious, but I could tell that the curiosity was burning him from the inside-out. "Please tell me what you're thinking about."

"You seem to ask me that a lot."

"I know – but it's very difficult for me to think that you might be reconsidering our friendship."

"What! I would never, ever do that. I've already told you; I don't care that we're supposed to be lifelong enemy's. Honestly, I don't get the big deal."

"You will... eventually."

"I don't want to! I don't want this whole Vampire... Angel... Shapeshifter... Witch... crap. It's ridiculous!"

His mouth tugged down at the corners, and I didn't fail to notice a flash of hurt sweep over his features. "Oh... well if that's what you think..." his voice trailed off, and he looked away from me. It seemed that he didn't want me to see the pain that was suddenly covering every corner of his face – but I'd already seen it.

"No, that's not what I mean," I said, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off effortlessly.

"Kay, I don't want you to lie about how you are feeling about this. It must be very difficult to believe, and I understand if you do think I'm crazy."

"What? Of course I don't!" My voice wobbled, and I worked hard to make it sound reassuring. "Jake, why wouldn't I believe all of this? It makes sense – I just don't want to believe it because it will completely change my life."

"It doesn't have to." He whispered gently.

"What do you mean?"

"Your life can be the same as its always been." He raised his volume slightly, "you don't have to let this information change the way you see the world."

"Yes, I do. All of this could be the reason my father died. Of course, it changes everything – but I'm not saying it has to be a bad change."

He looked over and eyed me carefully, judging my expression. He smiled gently, but it didn't reach his eyes. They stayed nervous, carefully taking in what I was saying.

"In fact," I continued trying to reassure him, "I think it could be the best change ever. I mean... I know now. It's very hard to understand, but maybe this will be important to know in the future."

"Maybe." He agreed. He still sounded nervous, but a hint of calm was crawling slowly into his tone.

But now I was the one worried. "What do I tell my mum?"

"I don't think you have to tell her anything, if you don't want."

"Maybe that is the best idea after all. I don't want you getting in trouble... and if she finds out I was with you, you'll have to visit me at my grave."

He chuckled at that remark "it would more likely be you visiting my grave," he corrected as his features slowly softened back to their normal calmness and confidence.

As I was watching him, he suddenly turned to face me. The swiftness of the movement shocked me momentarily, making it impossible to look away.

His brown eyes had a certain depth to them – I hadn't noticed before because I almost always looked away whenever we made eye contact– and I tried to search their secrets. There was a ring of forest green around his pupils, and different shades of deep brown fanning outwards from the centre. Outlining his iris was a band of gold, then a brown so dark it was almost black. The overall effect was breathtaking; I could see what I had missed before.

His almost inhuman beauty – from his vampire heritage – overwhelmed me.

I pulled away from his stunning gaze and tried to calm my palpitating heart.

"Do I make you nervous?" It was such a simple question, yet I appreciated how much courage that one question must have taken to ask. "You never can find the courage to look me directly in the eyes."

"Yes," I replied before thinking it through. My eyes widened at my sudden confession, and my face flushed with embarrassment.

He bit his lip, as if to hid another chuckle, before he looked away. This time he spoke with seriousness and softness.

"I can't look you directly in the eyes, either."

"Oh, uhmm..." I was unsure of how to respond to his statement. Naturally, it made me feel a bit over-excited as my heart fluttered animatedly. But I wasn't sure if we were confessing our feelings or—

"I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out?" Jake interrupted my thoughts, but answered my question. Yes and no. I was precisely eighty-seven percent sure that he liked me back, even he hadn't directly told me yet.

Someone needed to write a book about how to understand boys. Why can't they just give me a straight answer.

"I would love to." I was unable to raise my voice above a small whisper, but he seemed delighted by my response.

"Okay... this Saturday? I can pick you up?"

"Sure. But what will I tell my mum?"

"Make up some excuse. Tell her you're going out with Yasmine."

"And what if she tries to talk to her about it?"

"Get Yas in on the plan."

"Yeah, okay. Sure. Sounds good." It was now impossible to think full sentences, and my voice was coming out in exasperated gasps. He laughed at this.

"Well, I'd better get going."

"Oh. Okay." Disappointment filled my voice, and I was slightly hurt by his sudden departure.

"See you." He smiled.

Then he was gone before I was able to say bye. For a moment I found myself wondering how he could move so quickly, but then I remembered. Vampire blood.

For the first time, the idea made me smile.