“I’m sorry for coming across as insincere about bringing here. I do want a life with you, but I also don’t want to clip your wings. You’re young, Keisha.”

“I’m not that young, Angel. You want to give me freedom as a way to show your love, but” she begins. I can see her hesitating to get out the next part as if embarrassed. 

“I’m not going to judge, Keisha.”

Swallowing, she cups my jaw with a trembling hand yet shuts her eyes as she continues. 

“I…I don’t want there to be an option to leave. I want to be bound so tightly to you that we could become a single entity. I want this to be it.”

Despite the alarming wording, I understand that she wants consistency and an enduring relationship—a marriage with no expiration date. It's good that we’re on the same page. Squeezing her tighter, I hum in acknowledgment. 

“We’re talking about the same thing, baby.”

Her eyes squint at me. “How?”

“We’re asking each other to choose the other every day. Again and again.”

“But how are you choosing me when you think I’m better off away from you?”

“Because I want you to live life to the fullest. I want you to go back and finish your degree. Or hell, go to trade school and get a certification. Not for me, but for yourself, so you can have options.”

“I feel like there’s more,” Keisha mutters, her frown growing by the second. Trying to soften my words, I comb her locs back gently as I nuzzle my nose against hers. 

“There is. I want you to plan to visit the places you’ve dreamed of going to, with or without me. I want you to find friends and get into whatever other trouble you can find...that won't get you killed or in prison.”

“All I can hear is go, go, go. Leave, leave, leave,” Keisha sniffs. My heart breaks a little more as I see her eyes start to well. “Why are you so insistent on me being independent?”

“Because I don’t ever want to be the reason why you look back with regret. You’re in your twenties. You’re supposed to be figuring out life and what you want from it.”

“But what if I take all this time to explore...an-and I change so much that you don’t recognize me,” she barely whispers loud enough for me to hear. Something flickers behind her eyes, and I can't tell what is woven into this anxiety other than her fear of abandonment. Either way, I know that I have to tread carefully. 

“You would have to do some hurtful things and be an absolutely heinous person for that to be true.”

“Even if—“

“We’re always changing, baby. That’s the beauty of people. Gained weight, went bald, developed dermatitis, so what? I don’t care if you realized you weren’t a woman. Or you suddenly stopped liking musicals and preferred ‘straight plays’ for some weird reason,” I add, getting the little laugh I’d been hoping for. “As long as you aren’t intentionally harming yourself or endangering others, I want to love you where you are for who you are.”

“Angel,” she whines. Closing her eyes, Keisha takes a deep breath. Without opening them, she shakes her head. “You’re asking me to trust you, a man, despite all the statistics and horror stories.”

“I know, Princess.”

“You're thirty-three.” Finally opening them again, Keisha’s eyes shine despite the dimness of the room, almost yellow looking from the lamp light. “Why don’t you go for someone with a stable career or…stable in general? I don’t have much to give, and I don’t want waiting for me to become someone that may never be.”

“Who said anything about waiting,” I correct.

“You aren’t going to wait for me,” tears immediately welling in her eyes.

“Baby, you’re misunderstanding me. If you want this, you’re going to be mine even if you don’t change.”

“Sounds like you’re getting the short end of the stick. What if I end up loving the freedom and, like, go travel a lot without you?”

“If you decide to be with me, that’s it for me. No one else exists. You’ll be mine no matter how far and close you are.”

“And what if I need you around to feel that same knowing?”

“If you need reminders of me, I’ll leave them,” I promise, letting my eyes hood as I squeeze a handful of her ass. Her pupils widen by the second, a faint shiver rippling through her.

“Yeah?”

“Always.”

“What about school…work? You want me to be, like, a contributing member of society.”