“Felix, I got you-” I smiled, walking into my bedroom before realizing that Felix wasn’t lying in bed as he normally did when I went to get our breakfast, “Fe?” I started looking through my parents' house, figuring Felix was in the bathroom and settled down in the living room, my parents eating together in the backyard as Simon enjoyed the sunshine through an open window. Laughing, I started drinking my coffee, waiting for Felix to join me.

Rio passed by with a wave, and I nodded, “Where’s Felix? Ain’t he always wrapped around ya?”

“Normally, but I can’t find him. Figured he’s in the bathroom or something.”

My phone started to ring, and I pulled it out of my pocket, confused to find that it was Felix. Connecting quickly to my receivers, I leaned back and answered with a smile, “Hey, baby. I got your breakfast. I was surprised not to see you in bed. Our routine has been broken. Three months of it and now you’re gone.”

“I’m very gone,” he whispered, and I shot up, spilling my drink on the floor, “Um. I love you, Asher.”

“Huh? We’ve never said that before. I mean, I love you, too, Felix. I was getting ready to tell you.”

“I know.”

“Where are you?”

“Airport.”

“Wh-where are you going?” I sniffled and Rio froze, staring at me, “Felix? Why are you at the airport?”

“I found my mom. She lives in Sweden. She wants to meet me.”

“That’s amazing. Let me come with you! I want to meet her, I have my passport and I can buy a ticket.”

“No. No, Asher. I want to do this alone.”

“But… Why didn’t you tell me? I’m your boyfriend, we don’t keep secrets… I thought we stopped anyway.”

“It’s… It’s just easier. Um… I left the paperwork for the house on Pitt Island behind. It’s yours now since we’re married. We’ll stay married, I just… need you to let me do this, okay? I haven’t been able to make my own decisions in years. I will come back. I swear.”

“When?” I choked out, gripping Rio’s arm, and he rubbed my back, trying to keep me relaxed.

“I don’t know right now. If you want, you can file for that annulment, and we can get… we can be in a real relationship when I get back. I don’t expect you to wait around for me. It could be a long time. A few months. Maybe a year. I’ll… I just…”

“Felix… What do you want me to do? I…”

“I don’t know,” he whispered before going silent, “My flight is boarding. Decide what you wish to do. I’ll be going back to our house on Pitt Island when I’m done here. If you want to wait for me, I hope to see you there. If not… just send the paperwork to the house and I’ll see it when I get back. I care about you, but I have to do this for me, Asher.”

“Okay. Felix, please… I’ll stay faithful to you. I swear, just… come home to me when you get your answers.”

“Okay. I swear the same. Thank you… for always being so understanding. I don’t deserve you, and don’t argue that. There is no one else in the world like you. I’ll be back soon. I hope you’re waiting for me. But if not, I’ll respect that and stay away.”

“A-Are we breaking up?”

“No. Think of it as a break. We’ll stay in touch. But I need… to do this. Goodbye, Asher.”

“Bye,” I whispered, dropping my phone on the floor before covering my mouth in confusion, leaning on my elbows.

“Asher?” Rio leaned down to get my attention, and I shrugged, “Is he gone?”

“Temporarily. He found his mom. She’s in Sweden. He decided it was for the best to go and see her. See what she’s like, get to know her. Felix needed that connection to someone in the world outside of me, and I know that. But he had Mika and Aata. We’re supposed to move to Pitt Island together in a month, and now he’s… he left everything behind for me to go there alone with Simon. But Felix said that he could respect me not going and nullifying our marriage. He doesn’t know when he’ll be back. I fell in love with a runner. Someone so willing to run away as soon as he finds something he needs in his world. I thought… I was enough for him.”

“But ya are. Felix is still lost. He spent three years being tormented only to find ya again and be safe. That safety can be a lot for anyone. Ya agreed to stay faithful to him? Even when ya ain’t together right now?”

“Of course I did. I love him, Dad. I won’t stray until he tells me this is officially over. I don’t think Felix is stringing me along; I think he genuinely is unsure about his place in the world and needs this closure. I want him to have that. I’ll… go to our home and wait for him to come back to me. Fix up our house to how he wanted, so it’s nice, and run my business from a beautiful house on the beach. I’ll work with Aata to keep advertising so that the fishery stays open. If he doesn’t come back, I’ll handle it then. But I want to stick to this plan. At the very least, to make sure that if Felix does come back and decides that he wants a divorce, he has a nice place to live. He deserves that after everything he’s gone through.”

“And this is truly what ya wanna do, Ash?”

“It is.”

“Alright. Ya know I always support your crazy ass. Then we gotta get back to packin’ so that ya can move in a month.”

“Thank you.”

A month later, I was on a plane to the Chatham Islands, Simon in a carrier on my lap. I had kept in contact with Felix during this time, but our relationship was a bit shattered as he was distant. I missed him terribly, missed what we had, but knew that his relationship to his mother, Hana, was incredibly important. However, it sounded strained as she wasn’t prepared to have Felix in her life and didn’t seem to love him. But Felix refused to let this go, staying in a pay-by-month flat alone and working as a freelance artist.

“Well… We’re here,” I muttered to Simon as I climbed off of the bus I had taken to get to the house I now owned that Felix had left behind, “and holy crap is it huge!”

Smiling, I found the keys that Aata had agreed to hide in a plant for me near the front door and took in my surroundings. The house was indeed incredibly long, taking up most of a rocky alcove outside of a small set of stairs that led to a greenhouse and garden. The house itself was made of light wood, a porch wrapping the entire thing with a few outdoor chairs and a swing, planter boxes under every window that lay barren. Opening the front door, I peeked around, realizing that Aata and Mika had truly come by to clean the property as they had stated they would when I called them. There was a welcome basket of fruit and wine waiting on the kitchen counter, a small note for me that simply said “We’re Glad You’re Here.” The front door opened to the kitchen and dining room, to the right was a massive living area with a deck that led to the stairs to get beach access. Off the dining room was a hallway, and I found four bedrooms, each laid out the same with four-post beds made of the same wood as the house, a dresser in each room, and new bedding and curtains, all of it navy blue. There was one bathroom situated on the left side of the hallway between two of the rooms, nothing more than a shower, sink, and toilet inside. There was a door at the very end of the hallway, and I opened it to find the master bedroom. There was a king-sized bed against the back wall, a wooden nightstand on either side of it that each held a lamp as well as a clock on one. A long dresser was settled between two more doors, and I opened both to find the master bathroom, grateful that this one had a bathtub big enough for two. The other small room was a walk-in closet that was entirely empty, and I sighed, letting Simon out of his carrier to explore before taking a seat on the bed.

“You should be here,” I whispered, touching my wedding ring, “Why aren't you here?”

A soft knock came from the front door, and I was grateful to have my receivers on or I would have left my visitor in silence. With my cane in hand, I made my way over and opened the door, stopping in my tracks.

“Kia ora!” A large man smiled, his deeply tan skin wrinkling at the corner of his honey-brown eyes, black curls in a tight bun on the top of his head, “My name is Kawe Tawhiri. I live in the home on the other side of the cliff,” he gestured to his right and I poked my head out, “Aata told me you were arriving today. He's my pāpara. Um… uncle. I work around the island doing maintenance and things of the like. He mentioned a few things this house needed done and agreed to pay for it. I uh… I'm coming on a bit strong. I apologize,” he rubbed the nape of his neck, and I laughed softly.

“It's okay. My name is Asher Bennett. I gather you know that. Felix and I are married.”

“Oh, is he here?” Kawe laughed, fixing the strap of his tank top, his muscles flexing for a moment, and making my cheeks warm as he was incredibly broad and welcoming when he smiled.

“Sweden. Found his mom.”

“Huh?” Kawe gasped, “No, his mom is dead. She died a year after he was born, he knows that!”

I stuttered, searching for anything on Kawe’s face to tell me he was lying, but couldn't find it, “B-but… thank you. For telling me. I'll give him a call later. You're free to look around the outside and see what needs to be done. It was lovely to meet you, though.”

“Yeah,” he continued to smile, studying me, and I tucked my hair behind my ear nervously, “You too, Asher.”

Kawe moved around the side of the house, and I went to the couch, grabbing my phone and texting Felix.

-A: Who are you with?

-F: My mom? I told you this.

-A: Who are you really with?

-F: What? I'm with my mom. You never question me. Did something happen?

-A: Met someone who said you… never mind. I trust you. I miss you. Will you be home soon?

-F: I'm not sure.

-A: Mhm. Okay. Love you.

-F: Yeah. I know you do.

Sighing, I laid my phone down and tilted my head to find Kawe at the back of the home. He was using a step ladder to look at the wiring, clearly focused, and I chewed my lip, trying to ignore the way his shirt shifted to expose his stomach, stretch marks on his sides bright in the sunlight.

Making my way to the kitchen, I smiled when I found that Aata had taken the time to stock my fridge and grabbed a bottle of water, taking it to the back door and opening it, Kawe nodding at me.

“Um. Do you want water?” I held it out and he gratefully took it from me, “It's cooler here than on the mainland, but the sun is pretty brutal.”

“Where ya from?” He jumped down, sitting on the steps, and I joined him, setting my cane behind me.

“Christchurch. Grew up there.”

“Oh. I've never left Pitt Island,” he smiled, studying me, “You're the most unique person I've met.”

“I’ll be honest, since we’re new to each other. I’m trans. Female to male.”

“Cool,” he smiled, making me blush, “I know what that means even if it's not common here. Not enough people. I may be one of the few pansexual people here.”

“I am, too. How do you know Felix?”

“Oh, we're cousins. His dad and my mom are siblings. Uh Aata is married to Mika. Mika is my dad's sister. It's all very confusing, but Felix is my cousin.”

“Huh,” I whispered, staring at the water crashing onto the shore, “He always made it seem like he was alone in the world.”

“Nope. He's a liar, though. Pathological. Diagnosed pathological liar, actually. This house isn't his. It's Aata’s. Uncle Awena did pass. How did he say?”

“Drowned…”

“Nope. Stroke. I found him in the front yard. Felix was in his second year of University.”

“He uh… okay. I shouldn't be here then. I need to annul the marriage. I feel so stupid. I'll go back to Christchurch. Thank you, Kawe.”

“Why leave? Uncle Aata is happy to sell this place. Or rent it to you for a while. I was surprised when he said Felix was moving in here. He’s not welcome around the family due to his lies. Tried to convince everyone he owned the fish hatchery. He doesn’t. It’s Aata’s. Anything Aata has, Felix tries to claim as his. You’d do best to get away from him. Felix knows better than to come here.”

“He would rent it to me?” I whispered.

“Mhm. Or I have a spare apartment above my boat shack. It’s not fancy, it’s just basic, but I would be happy to rent it to you while you figure things out. Do you work?”

“I’m a graphic designer. I create invitations and anything of that sort. Mail it myself. Already talked to the post office here and informed them I’ll be sending things out weekly. Seemed to make the mailman very happy.”

“Oh, you talked to my older brother, Nikau. He runs the post office. I’m sure he’s excited to have someone use it regularly,” Kawe smiled brightly, “Stay here, Asher. I know the island is small, but it’s nice. We have shops, a school, everything. Places to explore. It’s only a two-hour flight to Christchurch. I’d be happy to act as a tour guide when you feel ready. But deal with Felix first. He doesn’t deserve your kindness.”

“He was so sweet to me,” I sniffled, and Kawe nodded, a flash of sadness on his face, “Made me think that even being who I am, even though I’m deaf and my legs are damaged, I was still worth love.”

“And you are,” he whispered as I looked over, “No matter what, you are worthy of being loved. Don’t let Felix’s lies ruin you. He latched onto your kindness. Find someone new. Get that annulment done and fall in love again. He wrapped you up in his nonsense. I guarantee he got himself into something he couldn’t handle and decided that… you were innocent enough to warp. This isn’t his home. It belongs to Aata. Felix tried to sell it out from under our family to Joshua Brenner. Agreed to marry him. It was insane, and I think that you got caught up in it and didn’t deserve that. I didn’t know you existed until a month ago, or I would have warned you to get away from him.”

“Kawe…”

“Oh,” he gasped, his eyes wide, and I tilted my head, “I apologize. Your voice is beautiful. It’s melodic but soft. I don’t know how to ask about this…”

“I lost my hearing when I was one,” I smiled, wiping my face on my sweater, “That’s all. I was in a car accident a couple of years ago and broke my back in a few places, and it left me with permanent leg weakness. My nerves and muscles don’t communicate properly. They attack each other. I take a lot of medication for it. I’m alive, though,” shrugging, I watched another wave roll across the sand, “This view is amazing.”

“I know. It’s why I never plan to live anywhere else. The island gives to us as we give to it. We take care of each other. Our community is small, mostly family, but we welcome outsiders. Welcome to Pitt Island, Asher. I do hope you’ll stay.”

“I will,” I nodded as Simon trotted onto the deck with us, “Oh. Kawe, meet Simon. He found me.”

“He’s perfect. I have my own kitten. Her name is Marame. It means moon. She stays with my parents to catch mice.”

“Are you still going to fix up the house? I can help when I’m not working. Aata told me this place has internet which is good or I would be screwed.”

“I would love that,” Kawe nodded, “We’re having a barbecue tomorrow. Would you like to come? I’d be happy to escort you and introduce you to everyone.”

“Sure. I’ll pretend that it’s a celebration of starting my annulment.”

“I love that idea. Oh, and Asher?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Kawe,” I smiled at him, and he fixed one of my curls carefully, “it wasn’t your fault.”