“You want to kiss me?” I gasped, staring at Kawe.

“Yes. I want to prove to you that I mean it when I say I want you. That I won't treat you badly,” he smiled, running his thumb along my bottom lip.

“Have you ever… been with someone?”

“I have. Male and female. Tourists do come here, and I get lonely. I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable.”

“No, it doesn't, but you should know I haven't. I've kissed, of course, but that's it.”

“I won't rush you,” he shook his head, “I'm in no hurry for it.”

“How long has it been?”

“Over a year. I decided to wait for something real. It finally appeared, and I've been telling myself I was wrong, that I shouldn't stay around you anymore. I'm scared of you. I've never been in a real relationship before. I don't know how to do this.”

“Well, neither do I, dork. You can’t exactly call what I had with Felix a real anything,” I laughed, wrapping my arms around his neck and accidentally knocking us both off balance, falling on my back in the sand, Kawe on top of me, “Ow!”

“Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry!” He started to panic, and I refused to let go, studying him for a moment, “Asher?” He whispered, his hands digging into the sand above my head.

“You're beautiful, Kawe. In a very masculine way, but I can't stop myself from staring at you when we're together. Your eyes remind me of those gold flecks in the damp sand. They fit well against the deep tan of your skin. We have almost the same tone. I like it. I wish my hair was dark like yours.”

“I'm glad it's not. You're uniquely beautiful,” he smiled, “You manage to glow when it gets dark. Your hair gives you away.”

“Shut up. I can't help being blonde.”

“I'm complimenting you,” he relaxed against me, undoing my braid to wrap my hair around his hand, the sand rough on my skin, but I ignored it in favor of how romantic this moment felt, something I had never experienced, “I love complimenting you. You get so flustered.”

“Kawe… what does it mean if we kiss? We aren't hooking up or being sex friends or something. We care about each other.”

“I told you. It means I pick you. To be with you as long as you can stand me. You were right after all. I am kind of stupid. I make bold choices in the hope that it saves people and keeps them happy. My life is simple, but it has space for another. I want you to take the space. I want to come home to you when I'm done working on someone's house or putting out a fire. I mean, not home, but we do live together right now. Until I fix my place. It has made me so happy to come over here and find you wrapped up in a sweater, drawing as the sun shines on you. I watch you as I work on the dock or from your roof. Your expression when you get a sudden idea fills me with pride. I'm not sure why, it doesn't have anything to do with me.”

“But you convinced me to stay here. Being in this house, seeing the island, and spending time with you brought my inspiration back. That's why my art has been flourishing again. If we kiss, does it mean we're together or just dating?”

“I don't do anything half-assed, Asher. I hate the concept of dating. We kind of already are if it makes you feel comfortable. Without the affection,” he lightly scratched my scalp, and my eyes fluttered closed, “and it's been killing me. But I didn't think you were interested. You never made it clear.”

“Just didn't think it was right of us to be together. That's all. I've wanted you, wanted to be with you, for months. I was meant to find you, Kawe. I just wish it hadn't been due to pain.”

“I'll never hurt you that way or let anyone use you again. I'm protective, and as my partner, I'll be horrendously overprotective of you. Not in a controlling way. I just won't let anything into our world that could cause you pain.”

“Together then?”

“If you let me kiss you.”

“Okay,” I whispered, gasping when Kawe crashed his lips to mine, my fingers digging into the nape of his neck. A soft moan escaped me when he bit my bottom lip, pulling it slightly before licking, my lip puffing up, “Kawe…”

“God, I was so tired of waiting for that. If I hadn't been so scared, how angry would you have been if I pinned you up and kissed you?” He whispered rapidly against my lips, his hand sliding to my hip.

“Not at all. Please do that. Surprise me that way. You know I walk around without my receivers and feel totally safe in your presence. You won't scare me. I want you to be a little rough with me if you like it. I'm not fragile. My legs are just a little weak.”

“Oh! Are you uh… wait, you've never been with someone and you have different parts, so I guess you would only be bottom right?”

“Yeah. Seeing as you're my boyfriend now, though, unless I read this entire thing wrong,” I pressed my lips to his ear and Kawe shivered before I could say anything, “When I'm ready, when things have progressed well, you can fill me whenever you want.”

“Fuck,” he groaned, moving to kiss me again, his tongue tangling around mine before tracing the sides of my cheeks and back of my teeth, “You're already so good to me, baby.”

“I have been for months. I keep you fed, idiot. Hang your laundry when you forget it here since you haven't bought a new washing machine.”

“I meant… you're so innocent it's adorable.”

“Oh,” I gasped, realizing he was trying to flirt, “I'm so sorry. I'm not used to this.”

“I know. I'm not really used to it either. Come on,” Kawe left a chaste kiss on my lips before jumping up and trying to help me to my feet, my knees refusing to move, “Poor baby. I guess I'll carry you inside,” he smiled brightly, picking me up bridal style and I cuddled against him, pressing soft kisses to his throat, “You're so sweet.”

“I have months of affection to make up for. I also like our dynamic. I hate being in charge. Baby me.”

“God, yes, if you're always going to be this cute and sweet to me,” Kawe laughed, carrying me to my room, “I normally wouldn't come in here without permission, but you can't get there on your own. So I'll set you in that vanity chair you have so you can get ready for bed.”

“It's like 6 pm!”

“Oh. I thought it was later,” he snorted, setting me down, “tell me what you need to get you on your feet again.”

“My pill case and the bottle of migraine medicine next to it. I don't have a headache, but it has extra anti-inflammatory and caffeine, so it speeds everything up.”

“Got it. Once you feel stable, get in comfy clothes. We can share a warm drink and watch a movie before I unpack. I have to head to the station tomorrow to set plans to survey the island. See what work we can do that's governmentally funded and what I'll do privately. Do you have any deliveries I need to take to Nik?”

“Hm. Oh yeah, I do. Just three boxes, they're on the counter. You'd really do that?”

“Duh,” he smiled, moving to my bedroom door, “you’re my partner. I'll even pick up groceries.”

“Oh. Thank you, tau.”

Kawe froze before running over and kissing me rapidly, making me giggle as I clung to his shirt, trying to stay in my seat.

“Why was that so exciting?” I smiled against his lips.

“You called me tau. It means so many things in Maori. Lover. Sweetheart. Darling. Spouse. It makes me happy to know right now I'm three of those. I hope eventually to get to that last one.”

“If we stay happy, now that my marriage to your piece of shit cousin is officially annulled, we can have a serious discussion when we feel ready. My parents were right. Marriage is a big commitment. I only want to do it one more time and make it last until I join the earth.”

“I only plan to do it once,” he nodded, “I'll be back with what you need. Just relax, baby.”

“Mhm.”

Kawe left with a smile, and I started cleaning sand from my arms, not caring that it was landing on the floor, as I could use my vacuum to clean it later. I had just cleaned my other arm when he returned, and as I took my medications, Kawe cleaned my back where it was exposed with a damp towel, humming softly.

“Kawe?” I whispered, making eye contact in the mirror, “I know we sealed things. We're together. But this is me. I'm going to be reliant on medication and a cane for the rest of my life. I'm deaf. I want you to understand what you're signing up for. I can't follow you through the forests, into trees. I'll never be able to run on the beach with you or swim again. I can float, sure, but I can't swim anymore. I can barely carry more than thirty pounds. I have to go for yearly appointments in Christchurch to make sure nothing has changed for me. You… are so daring and love to explore. I'll never be able to join, no matter how much I want to.”

“You can watch me,” he dropped the towel and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, never breaking eye contact, “I can safely take you into the water with me. If I do want to take you somewhere you can't safely navigate, I'm strong enough to carry you without breaking a sweat. No, that's not me treating you like an invalid. It's me, as your partner, finding ways for us to still experience everything together that's safe for you. Asher,” he tilted my head back and slowly kissed me, his hand resting on my throat, “Don't be scared, baby. I know who you are, and you're trying to hide behind your disability instead of seeing what I do. You're hilarious. Loving. Unique physically and mentally. The way you see the world is astounding to me. I came into this knowing in my heart I'm meant to. I want you for who you are, not what you can and can't do. We do plenty together,” he rubbed my throat softly, and I smiled, “and it makes me happy. That's what I want. To keep being happy with you.”

“Thank you,” I sniffled, and Kawe kissed a tear from my cheek, “I want that too.”

“Take your pills, put on pajamas, and come cuddle with me on the couch. Let me hold you for a while to get rid of these fears.”

“No one's held me since I was a baby,” laughing, I kissed his cheek, making Kawe smile.

“No better time to start.”

Kawe left once again, and I combed out my hair as I waited for my legs to relax. The pain and discomfort finally faded, and I shakily got to my feet, grateful to find that I could hold my weight. Sliding out of my clothes, I looked through my dresser and settled on a soft gray shirt and matching pants. Grabbing my cane once I was comfortable, I went to the main area of my home where I found Kawe in the kitchen, making something on the stove.

“Tau? What are you making?” I called, and he smiled at me over his shoulder.

“Udon. We didn't eat dinner. It's nothing fancy tonight, I'm tired. Are you hungry?”

“A little,” nodding, I sat at the dining table to watch Kawe cook, “hey?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“I have my next scans in two months. Do you want to come with me? I'll stay for two days with my parents. They'd love to meet you.”

“You know what,” he served my dinner with a kiss and a smile, “I would absolutely love to come meet your parents.”