Read Not in the Plan :: Ch.9

The sky had already begun to fade into deep purples and soft blues by the time Chris got home. The house was quiet—Lila was already in bed, and his mom was watching a drama series in the living room with the volume low.

He tossed his sneakers by the door, took a quick shower, and collapsed onto his bed with a soft sigh. It had been a good day. Really good, actually. But even with the laughter and teasing, his mind still lingered on the message he sent earlier.

Ash hadn’t replied.

He stared at the ceiling for a moment, then grabbed his phone and opened a chat with Sienna.

Chris:

You guys cool at home?

Sienna:

Yeah, all good. Why?

Chris:

Just wondering.

He hesitated before typing the next part, thumb hovering over the screen.

Chris:

Ash mentioned he had an older sister once… said something like “if she was still here.”

The typing bubble popped up almost instantly, then paused. Then popped up again.

Sienna:

Oh.

Sienna:

Yeah. That.

There was a long pause after that. Chris didn’t push. A couple of minutes later, another message came in.

Sienna:

I don’t really know much, Chris. I was just three when it happened.

Chris:

When what happened?

Sienna:

I’m not even sure. That’s the thing. Nobody really talks about it. Not even Mom.

She followed up quickly.

Sienna:

I know it was something big. And I know Ash… carries it with him.

Sienna:

It’s like… if it ever comes up, even accidentally, he just shuts down. Like fully. He won’t talk to anyone, won’t eat with us. Won’t even sit in the same room.

Chris read the words slowly, frowning at his screen. A part of him already sensed the heaviness when Ash mentioned it—but now it settled deeper in his chest.

Chris:

So you don’t know why he feels guilty?

Sienna:

No. And I never asked. I was scared to.

Sienna:

I still am, kind of.

Chris stared at her last message, his room completely silent now except for the distant sound of a car driving by outside.

He pulled the covers up around him, lying on his side as he typed back:

Chris:

It’s okay. I get it.

There was no emoji. No clever follow-up. Just that.

And somehow, it felt enough.

Sienna didn’t reply after that. And she didn’t have to.

Chris set his phone down on his chest and stared at the ceiling again, eyes tracing invisible shapes in the dark.

He didn’t know what Ash had gone through. But he knew what guilt felt like. That quiet, heavy thing that lived in your chest and never really left. He thought about Ash’s face that night during their video call—the shift in his voice, the moment he said “if she was still here.”

There was something in those words Chris couldn’t unhear.

He reached over to turn off his lamp. His room dimmed into shadows.

He didn’t expect to fall asleep easily.

And he didn’t.

Chris woke up to a soft buzz from his phone. He groaned a little, rolling over and grabbing it from beside his pillow. The screen lit up with a new message from Ash.

Ash:

yeah. i’m good.

Chris stared at it for a moment. That was Ash’s reply to the “you good?” message he’d sent yesterday during the picnic.

Chris’s chest tightened slightly. He typed back.

Chris:

Alright. just checking in.

He didn’t expect a quick reply and didn’t get one either.

He sat up, yawning, and stretched before finally dragging himself out of bed. The light slipping through the curtains told him it was already close to 10 a.m.

After freshening up, he made himself a quick breakfast—bread, eggs, and milky tea—and then packed his bag. There was a study session today at Nick’s house with Jin and Sienna. Winter exams were coming, and since it was their final year in high school, none of them were trying to mess around.

By around eleven, Chris left his house to Nick’s place. Nick opened the door, already grinning like he’d been waiting at the window.

“Late,” he said.

Chris rolled his eyes. “Calm down. I’m here.”

Inside, Sienna and Jin were already seated at the table, books spread across it like a battlefield.

Jin waved. “You’re just in time. I brought gimbap,” he said, holding up a container. “My mom made them.”

“Perfect,” Sienna said. “Now we have brain snacks.”

They settled in quickly. Despite the usual banter and background noise, they were focused. They understood each other’s explanations, shared notes, asked questions, and made jokes between study breaks. It was one of those sessions where things just clicked—smart friends in sync.

Around 2 p.m., they moved into the kitchen to cook lunch together. What should have taken thirty minutes ended up lasting an hour thanks to constant dancing, TikTok takes, fake cooking competitions, and someone (Nick) nearly burning the noodles.

Chris laughed more than he had in days. But even while stirring sauce or laughing at Sienna’s failed flip attempt, his mind wandered to Ash. He kept picturing that moment on the phone—Ash’s voice when he mentioned his sister. There was something there, something unresolved. Chris wondered how Ash was really coping.

He didn't bring it up, though.

“I almost forgot,” Jin said while slicing vegetables. “My sister’s getting married next year. Spring.”

“Whoa, really?” Nick said. “That’s dope.”

“Yeah, in like four, five months. You guys are all invited.”

“Sure.” Chris replied.

“Okay, okay!” Sienna said, “Now we all have to guess who’s getting married first out of us.”

Chris smirked. “Nick. Easily.”

“Me? What?” Nick said.

Jin nodded. “You give big married energy.”

“You guys are wild,” Nick said, but he was laughing too.

Chris found himself joining in again, glad for the light mood. They finally ate, talked more nonsense, then got back to studying for a bit as the sky slowly shifted to evening.

Eventually, everyone started packing up their notes and slipping books into their bags.

“See you guys tomorrow,” Sienna said, looping her bag over her shoulder.

“Later,” Jin added with a lazy wave.

Chris headed out too, walking down the familiar street back toward his house. It wasn’t far now—he could already see the rooftop from here. As he walked, something tugged at him again. Without thinking too hard about it, he pulled out his phone and called Ash.

It rang once. No answer.

He tried again.

This time, Ash picked up.

"Why are you not home? Where did you go?”

Chris blinked. “Huh? What do you mean?”

“I’m just leaving your house. Your mom said you weren’t in.”

Chris’s steps slowed. His eyes lifted—and there he was.

Ash.

Walking toward him down the sidewalk.

His phone dropped slightly from his hand. For a second, Chris forgot what words even were.

Ash stopped in front of him and, without saying anything else, wrapped his arms around Chris in a tight hug.

“I just really wanted to hug you,” Ash said quietly. “That’s why I came all the way.”