Junho carefully put a beautiful silver hairband in his hair, intently gazing at his reflection in the small mirror attached to the open door of his school locker. He was aware of the stares from passing students, but for once, he decided to block them out.  He was accustomed to ridicule, exclusion, and gossip – he hated it, yet he had learned to endure it. He also knew that perhaps drawing further attention to himself with such eye-catching accessories wasn’t so wise. Still, he couldn’t help it.

He thought of his late grandmother, who always told him to never let the imaginary crown on his head fall, no matter what. Junho cherished this memory, even though he never quite understood why she thought a crown suited him. He wondered if her unwavering advice applied to his current situation. Would she still love him if she knew what he had done? The thought unsettled him, but he dismissed it with a shake of his head.

This day has to be special; he told himself, touching the symbolic crown on his head.

That Friday afternoon, after Siwoo helped Junho with the rope climbing, they spent more time together. Junho waited as Siwoo worked out with weights and ran a few laps. Not wanting to seem lazy, he even joined him for the latter. Afterward, Siwoo offered to walk him home, and they chatted freely along the way.  Junho asked Siwoo about his impressions of the new school and how he felt about being back in South Korea after spending time abroad. Siwoo, in turn, asked about the best spots in Seoul and the location of the city’s grand library.

Nothing earth-shattering happened, yet Junho felt a wave of gratitude thinking about the events. Few people spoke to him so casually, so openly. He was aware though, that the fact Siwoo didn’t know of his past likely contributed to the ease of their interactions. The thought of the inevitable moment when Siwoo would learn the truth haunted him.

By Monday, Junho decided to strengthen their connection before that disaster struck. If they became friends in time, perhaps Siwoo wouldn’t abandon him when he found out. Or so he hoped.

By midday, Junho finally spotted Siwoo in the cafeteria, sitting alone at a table, engrossed in a textbook while eating a peculiar sandwich. For a moment, Junho felt sorry for him. Adjusting to senior year in a South Korean high school was tough enough, let alone for someone familiar with an entirely different educational system. Siwoo had to be struggling to keep up.

Junho sighed, filled his tray with some vegetables, rice, and the vegan ramen he brought from home, and approached Siwoo’s table. Nervousness tugged at him – he hated initiating conversations, especially recently. Yet, he gathered his courage and walked toward Siwoo.

Just as he neared the table, two other boys sat beside Siwoo – Hyunshik and Minjun. Junho stopped abruptly, unsure of what to do next. Hoping no one noticed his hesitation, he turned and retreated to an empty table across the cafeteria. He instinctively glanced back and froze when his eyes met Siwoo’s puzzled gaze. He had noticed.

Yes, Siwoo had noticed his clumsiness, and as soon as it reached Junho’s mind, he immediately buried his face in his palms. His ears were burning, his face was on fire, and his brain was buzzing. He hated these sudden, awkward situations because he never knew how to handle them. He felt crushed and thought to himself, how could he be so stupid: How could he have thought someone would actually want to be friends with him? He and Siwoo had just happened to be in the same place on Friday, and obviously, the guy was only talking to him to avoid the awkward silence. Why did he think someone liked him? I am just a failure. Junho’s mind was racing, as negative emotions flooded his head like an avalanche. He felt an imaginary knot forming in his stomach, filling his insides, making it hard to breath, and he felt his tears were about to flow. Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, pathetic.

Suddenly, the chair across from him scraped the floor. Junho looked up, startled, to see Siwoo sitting down with a faint smile.

“Is this seat taken?” Siwoo asked.

Junho’s cheeks reddened further. “No... it’s free.”