Chapter 10: Alone Time, Qi Chaos, and the Sudden Involuntary Appearance of Rabbits

I decided it was time to train on my own.

Why?

Because being humiliated in front of trained professionals was getting exhausting. And because I was sure — sure — that with the right environment, the right focus, and the right playlist of angry thoughts, I’d make some spiritual progress.

Spoiler: I did not.

I chose a quiet cave above the waterfall, hidden in the cliffs, away from Aunt Mei, Elder Zhang, and the clan’s thirty-seven daily cabbage offerings.

It had everything:

• A flat stone floor,
  
  
• A mystical drip noise,
  
  
• And just enough mildew to feel rustic.
  
  

I even brought tea.

Real tea.

No cabbage in sight.

I sat cross-legged.

Breathed deeply.

Focused.

“Alright, Chen Wei. Let’s find some inner peace.”

I closed my eyes and began my own version of guided spiritual visualization:

1. Inhale. Imagine energy flowing into your body.
   
   
2. Exhale. Picture yourself glowing with celestial majesty.
   
   
3. Inhale. Imagine the Qi aligning perfectly—
   
   

BONK.

Something hit me in the head.

I opened my eyes.

There was a rabbit sitting on my lap.

A white, fluffy, confused rabbit.

It stared at me like I had intruded on its secret training spot.

“…What.”

The rabbit blinked.

Then four more rabbits emerged from behind the boulders.

Then three from the bushes.

Then a whole family from a crack in the cave wall.

Within minutes, I was surrounded by rabbits.

Dozens of them.

Silent.

Judging.

I stared at the herd.

They stared back.

“Are you all lost?” I asked them.

They did not answer.

Instead, one of them hopped onto my shoulder and fell asleep.

My eye twitched.

Something was wrong.

I hadn’t summoned them. I hadn’t used a technique. I had just breathed.

And they had come.

“Oh no. Please don’t tell me this is part of the Cloud Rabbit Physique.”

I opened a scroll I’d smuggled from the archives, titled ‘Strange Physiques: An Incomplete List (Very Incomplete)’.

I flipped to the section on “Mythical Beasts & Celestial Nuisances.”

There it was.

Cloud Rabbit Physique:

“A rare and mostly useless physique. Attracts spiritual beasts of low intelligence and high fluff. May cause spontaneous appearances of rabbits, fog, or nonsensical footwork. Reported side effects include getting lost frequently, being unnaturally lucky or unlucky, and extreme lightness of body.”

I paused at one line:

“Many who inherit this physique experience ‘minor reality bending’ and are deemed unsafe for team missions.”

Fantastic.

I stood up.

All the rabbits stood up with me.

I walked.

They followed.

I ran.

They chased.

One tried to climb into my sleeve.

Another licked a spirit stone.

“Okay, everyone OUT!” I shouted.

Silence.

One rabbit tilted its head.

Then peed on my training mat.

This… this was a disaster.

I hadn’t gained enlightenment.

I hadn’t formed a Qi core.

But I had, apparently, become a rabbit messiah.

Then, as I tried to restore some dignity by striking a “cultivator pose,” a tree outside the cave caught fire.

I didn’t even touch it.

Just… ignited.

Smoke billowed.

Screaming squirrels fled.

A boulder cracked open and a swarm of bees poured out.

I stared at my hands.

“…What the hell?”

The rabbits vanished immediately.

Cowards.

Eventually, I stumbled back into the main compound, covered in soot, scratches, and rabbit fur.

Aunt Mei gasped when she saw me.

“You trained alone, didn’t you?”

“I did.”

“…And?”

“I gained enlightenment.”

She squinted at me.

“Really?”

I nodded seriously.

“I have learned I am not allowed near dry grass, wildlife, or flammable air.”

That night, I stared at the ceiling, deep in thought.

• I have misfortune-attracting meridians.
  
  
• I have a Cloud Rabbit Physique.
  
  
• I cannot absorb Qi without starting minor disasters.
  
  
• I may be a danger to myself and the continent.
  
  
• I am somehow still Patriarch of 800 people.
  
  

This was no longer a slow cultivation journey.

This was spiritual survival.

[End of Chapter 10]