Night falls over my kingdom.

The Glowing Rectangle dims.

The food bowl is filled (not enough, as usual).

The air grows cooler.

The shadows stretch long and sharp across the floor.

This is my time.

The humans do not understand the dangers of nightfall.

While they laugh and yawn and stumble into their sleeping caves, I begin my sacred duty:

Nighttime Watch.

Protector of the Household.

Guardian of the Window Realms.

I leap onto the windowsill with the grace of a thousand-year-old warrior.

I press my nose against the cool glass.

Outside, the world is alive.

Shapes move in the darkness:

Feral beasts with long, twitching tails (the humans call them "rats").

Winged terrors that flap and shriek ("bats," they say, with foolish fondness).

Mysterious two-leggers with flashing eyes who walk past in the distance.

And worst of all...

The rival cats.

I spot one now — a black shadow, sauntering through the grass like he owns it.

He pauses.

He looks up.

We lock eyes.

I flatten my ears.

He flicks his tail.

The ancient code of feline warfare demands that I respond.

I puff my chest.

I open my mouth in a silent, gaping howl.

I slam my paw against the window:

THUMP.

The rival merely blinks and strolls away.

Victory?

Retreat?

Either way —

the borders are secure for tonight.

I stay perched there, unmoving, my silhouette lit only by the pale moonlight.

Every whisker alert.

Every claw ready.

Inside, my human snores in the other room, oblivious to the deadly battles I fight for him.

Ungrateful.

Unworthy.

But still mine.

The night creeps deeper.

The house is silent, except for the faint hum of machines.

I blink slowly.

Sleep tugs at my fur, but I resist.

There are things out there.

Things that move when no one watches.

And I will be the watcher.

Household Defended.

Threats Neutralized (through sheer presence and intimidation).

I finally curl into a tight ball on the windowsill, the moon my only witness.

Another day, another victorious campaign for Meowster.

Every kingdom has its forbidden treasures.

The golden jewels.

The secret chambers.

And in my human's kingdom...

The Sacred Houseplant.

It stands in the corner of the room, tall and proud.

A green, leafy monstrosity.

A symbol of the humans' ignorance.

They worship it. They water it. They speak to it in gentle tones.

“Look at you grow, little plant! You’re so beautiful.”

The audacity.

I have always known that this plant holds power.

A power beyond understanding.

It whispers to me. It taunts me.

I have seen it stretch toward the sunlight, basking in the glory that I, a noble beast, deserve.

I have seen it sway in the breeze, while I, the true ruler of this house, must endure the tyranny of its false reign.

Today, the plant makes its fatal mistake.

It leans just a bit too close to my territory.

It’s too close.

I can smell it.

It smells… like danger.

And maybe a little like tuna (which makes it even more suspicious).

I circle it once.

Twice.

I narrow my eyes.

This.

This must be destroyed.

I approach the plant.

My paws silent on the floor, my tail flicking in anticipation.

I stand before it.

The air between us crackles with tension. I raise my paw.

One swipe —

and I knock one of its leaves to the ground.

The plant stumbles.

It cannot fight back.

The humans are in the other room.

They do not hear the chaos.

They do not know what is happening.

I strike again.

Another leaf falls.

Another hit.

Another victory.

But then —

a noise.

I freeze.

A soft voice.

My human is coming.

I leap backward, my tail puffed, my heart racing.

I look at the leaf on the floor.

The plant is wounded, but not yet defeated.

I turn, racing away like a thief in the night.

My human walks into the room, oblivious to the battle that just took place.

"Meowster, why are you looking at the plant like that?" he asks.

I blink slowly.

I tilt my head.

A warrior never admits defeat.

I make my way to the couch, acting as though nothing has occurred.

Victory, as always, is mine.

But the plant...

The plant will rise again.

🔹 Meowster’s Checklist of the Night:

• 🗹 Secure the borders

• 🗹 Defend against rival cats

• 🗹 Guard the sacred window

• 🗹 Attack the forbidden green demon (a.k.a. houseplant)

• ☐ Receive proper recognition for bravery

👑 What would YOU name the forbidden houseplant?
Drop your funniest name below and Meowster might approve (or swipe it off the shelf)!

📢 Want More Chaos?

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