Chapter 4: Sena

*The day after the late night chat.*

Last night was quite a roller coaster. I really just went back into time. I wonder how long it has been since I tried to talk about it to someone.

Being an assistant to one of the renowned mangaka in the industry sure does things to you. I’ve never liked being ordered around. But this time… something about it felt different. It’s been three years since I arrived at this place. 

Growing up, I never had someone to rely on. I was left to deal with myself and my life alone. My parents never really had the best of a relationship, let alone them acting as actual parents. They had a divorce early on and I had to live with each of them until I was legally an adult to move out.

After mom got my custody, I had to live with my mom. Living with her was like being invisible— spoken through, not to. She never really acknowledged my presence. Due to poor living conditions, I would come straight back home after school, to a cramped and run down apartment. Watching the rain pour, I would sit waiting for a certain someone who’d come back. But… that night, she never returned. At midnight, the apartment next door caught on fire, and I had to evacuate the house. 

I was scared. I waited for her to return, but she never did. I was questioned by the police, but I never knew anything about my mom or dad. Luckily, the police traced my connection to my dad, and brought me there.

He lived in a much better apartment than mom ever did, being a salaryman he was, he earned quite well for his position. I was fed good food, we went out once every weekend, spent time together— life was much better than my living with my mom. My dad, he was never there for me. Working overtime, having affairs, going to clubs, and even brothels. I knew too much for my age. He did everything that a father shouldn’t. But I still loved him as much. At least he didn’t leave me. 

I grew up used to listening to moaning and bed creaks late at night from my dad’s room. I just turned up the volume of my headphones and pretended not to hear anything.

One day, while coming home from school, I saw a new library that opened up. The books there were on a discount, and I decided to check them out. To my surprise, the manga section was full of stories that pulled me in. I decided to get one of the first volumes of a manga and read it. I found something I loved for once. I wasn’t going to miss my chance at it. With the allowance I used to get, I bought manga to keep myself busy.

As time grew, I believed I could make such mangas as well, and started drawing. I never knew that I could draw so well, and started drawing more and more every day.

I got in! A piece I submitted got picked up by a weekly manga magazine. It’s a pretty small space in a magazine, but it’s there! 

‘Maybe this is something I can do!’ I thought to myself and I started drawing manga.

I moved and decided to grow in the industry with the professionals and yes, taking the first step was worth it. Because that’s how I ended up here, in this chaotic little world with Yuuta.

Today, I have a meeting with the producers of the magazine, and they want Yuuta to draw a panel for a product as an advertisement. But with everything already on his plate, I doubt he could take on more. I hope they understand his work and give him some time for it. 

The meeting was successful and they have decided to give him a deadline for a week. ‘That was quite easy.’ I said as I walked into the house.

Hopping around after a fruitful day, I hop my way into Yuuta’s room to tell him about it. 

But…

Something’s off.

”YUUTA!”

He is having his migraines. I quickly rush towards the kitchen to grab his medications and a wet towel. Dodging around the furniture, I sprint across the house. I come back as I give him the medication and some water as I press a cool cloth on his temple.

“You don’t have to do this.” Said Yuuta with a low and fragile voice.

“I know.” I replied. I sit with him, pressing the cloth against his head. The stillness is loud. My heart pounded so loud I thought he’d hear it too. As it couldn’t get any harder for me, he leans against my shoulder.

Some years ago, I was so frail, I couldn’t even clean up after myself— but now here I am, taking care of a guy, who in his own way, might be just as lost as I was.

‘I didn’t stay because I wanted to, but because—’

“Thank you, Sena.” Yuuta murmured as he fell deep asleep. I chuckle at him and let him rest.

Today was quite a day.

‘It feels like I could draw something today.’

I sit down, sketchbook in hand, and let the pencil move. I don’t know how long I’ve been drawing—until I stop.

Those eyes. That slouch. That familiar weight in his shoulders.

It’s him.

Yuuta.

I stare at the page, my heart clenching, then softening. I trace the lines again, slower this time—gentler.

He may never look at me that way. I know that.

But I still want to be here.

Just to see him through.

“Yuuta.” I whisper, barely audible.

I don’t need him to love me back.

I just need him to be okay.

—end chapter 4