That’s how it starts, isn’t it?
A sudden sense of haste when stepping onto a new path.
That sinking feeling of being worse.
Of being broken.
Of no longer recognizing the person you once were.
You meet a new self, out of nowhere.
No words, no warning.
Just sitting there…
Staring.
It’s like sitting across from someone you’ve never met—
and somehow knowing they’ve always been waiting.
Then they say:
“Hello. Here we are.”
Crazy, right?
Not really.
Just sudden.
Just raw.
Like me, right now—
unaware of what’s around me.
That’s why I’m here.
Trying to stop myself from exploding.
Yesterday, I made a decision.
And now—
I find myself trying to make it all over again
without ever acting on it.
I feel terrible.
Like crying.
But instead—
I smile.
That’s the problem:
I always face things inwardly.
No matter what’s happening outside.
I care—
because up to this moment,
I still say nothing.
I just exist.
And express my distress without a reason strong enough to keep me here
So... will I get used to it here?
I feel strange.
Or maybe I should say... I feel like I’m about to throw everything up at once—
the bitterness of memories,
the bitterness of staying in a place that doesn’t belong to me...
Even though... I feel like I belong.
I mean—how strange is that?
How can someone feel like they belong,
and still have all these conflicting feelings inside them—
the urge to run away?
Or maybe the urge to change, to drift away?
Here I am—me and myself—
kneeling before you, Me.
Smiling from the corner of my lips,
then nearly crying the next moment.
No—
the tears almost fall,
while the smile still lingers on my face.
What do you say?
I want to hear something…
from you…
Me.
What?
You always step forward just to say a word or two—
then disappear again.
I’m tired here.
I want something…
but I can’t remember what it is.
This desire for change overwhelms me—
just like the desire to stay,
because somehow, everything feels in its place.
Even if there’s a feeling of something forgotten…
or lost.
It all began with a smile, didn’t it?
Are you lending me your smile now?
I don’t need it.
You know that.
Ahh…
Let me stand.
You know I hate feeling small—
even in front of myself.
Ugh…
This dress keeps tripping me.
I’ll tear it a little.
Oops—
I tore it.
It’s no longer long as it was.
Now it’s short.
A short pink dress.
So then—
Here I am, standing in front of you.
Talk to me.
Wait, no—
Let me be clear.
I want my memory back.
Me?
Here I am, taking steps...
Elegantly?
I wonder.
I’m still barefoot.
And I don’t know why.
I tilt my head here and there,
searching around like a cat that’s lost something—
something it needs to find.
I step gently… and I wonder again:
So, Me...
Will you give me back the memory you took from me?
Did you really take it?
Or did I lose it somewhere?
I don’t remember.
I wonder why I’ve lost my memories.
I wonder what really caused that.
So then…
Will we finally talk?
Or are you going to stay silent forever?
Ahh… boredom is beginning to creep in.
There’s no doubt at all, my dear Me...
Ah—
I just remembered.
I’m the one who always used to speak like this—
My dear Me.
Ah…
My dearest self.
So…
There’s never been any doubt,
that I was always free within myself…
Right, my dear?
Then…
Why am I here?
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