Chapter 12: Fog on the Tyne

“Little star in the sky… Why do you hide behind the clouds?”

Kazuya took a gulping breath and jerked awake with a start. The side of his cheek scraped against the cement. The sting spread through his face and raced down to the tips of his toes. He moaned softly and propped himself on his elbows. The buzzing pain in his cheek made him more aware of another sensation in his body – a low, roiling burning that seemed to emanate from within his chest. 

Even the slightest breeze made his teeth chatter. Every time he blinked, it felt as if his eyes were covered with a hot towel. Judging by the orange streaks of light that pierced the darkness of the little space he occupied, the sun was setting.

Where am I? How many days has it been? 

“Five days.”

There it was again; the voice from nowhere. 

Kazuya tugged on the strings that the pom-poms were attached to. “W-Who are you?” he asked with a wobbly voice. 

“Don’t worry about that. All you need to know is that I am on your side and I can help you.” 

The voice sounded just like him, but Kazuya knew that it was not his inner voice. It was as if someone were whispering into his ears. There was a familiar lull to its voice that made him want to lean into its company even more. 

“Do you remember how you made your way here? To Tokyo?”

“D-Don’t-”

“You killed five people. Sugiyama Ryota, Ta-”

“Shut up! S-Shut up!” Kazuya pressed the heels of his palms against his ears.

“There was so much blood on the walls,” the voice said. “But are you alright, Kazuya?”

Shakily, Kazuya glanced at his hands, to find that they were covered in blackened blood. He hurriedly dipped his hands in a puddle of water and tried to scrub it off, only for it to spread up his arms. 

I k-killed them. With my hands. I kill-

“You were protecting yourself.”

“No!” 

“They mistreated you for years, it’s about time someone stood up to them. You were very brave–”

“I’m not supposed to hurt people!” Kazuya sobbed quietly. He nuzzled his face against one of the pom-poms and wiped away his scorching tears. “It h-hurt when they p-pushed me…”

“Now is not the time to cry over this.” The little voice in his head became louder and grew in ferocity. “Someone is coming.”

“Where?!”

As soon as Kazuya perked up his ears, he picked up the sound of a distant siren.

They know I’m a murderer. A murderer! Kazuya curled up and squeezed his head with his knees and hands, his heart palpitating wildly.

 “What are you doing?! Hurry! They’ll find you. Yes, they will!”

But Kazuya could hardly muster enough strength to move a muscle. He squeezed his eyes shut so hard that he could see white. “Don’t let them see me, don’t let them see me,” he whimpered. DON’T LET THEM SEE ME, DON’T LET THEM SEE ME, DON’T-

Then, something snapped. It was as if a small grenade went off inside him and suddenly, everything went silent. Kazuya raised his head and opened his eyes slowly. He found himself encased in an iridescent dome that shimmered and pulsed. 

“Hello, Kazuya Aiuchi.” It was a different voice this time. Heavy with boundless wisdom but with a hint of youthful jubilee; calm but only enough to soothe his nerves. A white figure with a gleaming smile stood in front of him. 

The figure offered an outstretched hand. A white ribbon shot out from the centre of its palm, weaving together to form a blanket.  “I hear your desire loud and clear,” the figure declared before throwing the blanket over him.

Kazuya snapped back to reality. His head felt light and his heart felt like it was going to burst. His fever had broke. All that remained was a sheen of cold sweat on his skin. “What’s this?” he whispered hoarsely. 

A thick grey fog had engulfed the alley. Kazuya could hardly tell which direction he had come from or which direction led him away from his pursuers. He decided to act on his instinct and quickly limped away.

“What was that?!” The voice that had alerted him to the police sounded strained and weak. 

“I don’t know! I don’t know!” Kazuya gasped.

“You nearly killed me! Do you know how stupid that was?” 

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

“I won’t be helping you anymore! You are on your own now!”

“Wait! Wait! Come back!” Kazuya begged but to no avail. As persistent the voice once was in trying to help him, it went radio silent just as quickly. 

Guilt and misery loved company. They gnawed away at his mind as his heartbeat accelerated. Without a voice to argue with, he had nothing to take him away from these thoughts.

For the next few nights, Kazuya lay shivering on the cold concrete ground in another small space he had found, his body aching with pain, and he remained in a fetal position for hours on end. Flashbacks and nightmares plagued his delirious mind. Whenever he looked at his reflection in the puddles, he would see blood oozing from his eyes. 

“Please help me…” Kazuya whimpered. Snot and tears streaked his grimy face, but he had no strength in his arms to wipe them away. “I p-p-promise that I won’t d-do whatever that hurt you b-b-b-back there!”

The fluffy pom-pom that lay unmoving on the ground next to him rolled toward his cheek before cosying up to him. 

“Oh, you poor thing…” The voice was back. “Don’t cry…”

Kazuya sniffled, a small smile splitting his cracked lips. “But you have to promise me that you’d follow my every word,” the voice said. “I would help you in return.”

“O-okay, I promise.”