I swear he likes Lila!

"Lila! We were just heading back inside."

Calix's tone had an affability to it- something that starkly contrasted his usual icy tone. Aster's suspicion grew with every second as he watched Calix rush in front of him to open the door back into the clubroom for Lila.

"Say Aster, do ya wanna stay outside and practice? So they can use the piano in the room." Hazel said with a grin.

Ugh, that means Lila and Calix are gonna have alone time. It also wouldn't make sense for both pairs to practice in the same place, so…

"Sure, why not, I guess." 

Aster's response pained him greatly, but the only logical thing he could do was to agree with Hazel's suggestion.

Ugh, I wish I could be in the room with Calix.

At the very least, practice was fruitful. Though Aster was still feeling the emotions from earlier -the sadness that churned within his heart, the grief that filled his thoughts, and the embarrassment from his sudden outburst -the worst of them had abated. With his overwhelming emotions tempered by Hazel's serene presence, he was able to focus on playing the guitar and harmonising with her euphonious tone.

More importantly, Aster genuinely felt like he was having fun doing music, something that he sorely missed, and the feeling reminded him of the happy memories he had had with his mother. Time flew by quickly, and before they realised it, more than an hour had passed. After they ended their umpteenth run of the full song, Aster laid his guitar down and leaned back against the bench. The past hour had been great, but his fingers were starting to feel worn out.

"Wanna take a break? We’ve been at it for more than an hour."

"Sure."

Aster let out a small sigh and put his hands behind his head, relaxing.

"Hey, I just wanted to say thank you for opening up just now. I hope the situation is better for you now." Hazel smiled.

"It is better now. I’d love to know more about your life too, if you don’t mind sharing."

Aster couldn't help but return Hazel's joyful smile. Her jovial energy was truly infectious. Hazel's eyes lit up even more upon hearing Aster's words.

"You would? I don’t really have a listening ear right now besides Calix, so that really means a lot to me!"

Hazel's yellow-green eyes squinted slightly as her whole face beamed.

"Go ahead!"

"Well, not sure if you remember, but I’m the youngest of five sisters. Thing is, they’ve all found success, so I honestly feel quite pressured to find mine, to fit in with them."

It was the first time Hazel had shown an expression other than joy, excitement or empathy on her face. Aster did not know what to say. Most of his friends were either the only child of their family or, at most, had one or two siblings. It was uncommon to have more than three kids where they lived

"Sorry, I’m an only child so I can’t relate to having siblings, but I can always be your listening ear!"

That was the best reply that Aster could come up with at the moment. It seemed to be enough, though, and Aster even noticed a tinge of red appearing on Hazel's otherwise pale skin.

"Well, that’s good enough for me! What about you, Aster? Do you also feel any pressure to fit in?"

Do I? 

Aster processed the question for a second. He realised that he had never even thought about fitting in.

"Honestly, no. I’ve always just gone with the flow, and that’s worked so far- although I do want to start making more decisions for myself in life. I think I’ve only made two: to stay with my mom and to study film at CUA."

Hazel put her arm over Aster's shoulder.

"Hey. You made at least two more! You joined Central Crew, and you chose to sing with me."

The once slight touches of red on Hazel's face had now developed into a full-face blush.

Those were just offshoots of deciding to join CUA to find Calix… but I don’t think I can let her know, can I?

A new conflict brewed within Aster. He'd never told anyone, other than other queer people he'd met on dating apps, about his sexuality. Not a soul. He had no reason to. He had rationalised it would be safer to just keep his sexual and social life separate. Yet, a little feeling inside told him that Hazel would be the right person to.

She does seem nice enough, and she doesn't seem like the judgmental type.

Yet, something else nagged at Aster. It was something Ash had said when they first met. 

"Other people will judge you if they find out. You'll be shamed. Rumours will spread."

The two conflicting sides argued in Aster's head. He had to make a choice.

Ash is right… I can’t go around letting people know who I really am.

"Anyway, I’m glad that you’re making more decisions for yourself! Keep at it and I think you’ll have a great time here."

Hazel patted Aster on the back gently. Even though he had to conceal his true motivations, Aster still felt accomplished because of how much he had opened up over the span of a few hours. He felt a sense of belonging now, something other than Calix to motivate him to continue attending Central Crew sessions. He was also grateful for the blossoming friendship with Hazel that had slowly developed. She had already impacted his life more than she knew.

After that, they continued making small talk for a while longer. Hazel told Aster a little more about her sisters and what life was like with them. When she was done, she checked her phone-another hour had passed.

"Shall we head back? Maybe we can listen to Calix sing a little."

"Let's go!"

Aster smiled. Getting to hear Calix sing would be a treat that he could not resist. He briskly walked to the door, ready to swing it open.

I can’t wait to see Calix!