“It hurts!” I cried out, tears spilling down my face—only to evaporate instantly from the heat rolling off my skin. I squeezed my eyes shut. Maybe that would dull the pain. Maybe if I—Suddenly, my father's voice cut through the chaos—panicked and low. 

Breath deep in. Slow out. 

“Why does your mother always have to be right?” he whispered, more to himself than to me.

The fear in his voice made my own multiply. He was scared. That terrified me. He lets go of my hands, quickly bringing both of his palms to either side of my face, anchoring me as my body trembles beneath the weight of heat and fear.

It feels as if lava is burning my flesh, peeling it back like an orange.

“Let me guide your mana,” he says, panic bleeding through his calm mask. “You need to give me control Rena” 

breathe deep. Slow out….. What did he ask? I barely hear him.

My eyes shoot open, but a curtain of tears blurs everything. The pressure in my chest rises. The ringing in my ears pulses louder—louder—until it matches the pounding of my heartbeat. The two sounds sync in perfect rhythm, rising like a chorus inside me. 

Breath-. I'm going to die…. Again…..

Guide? Mana? Me? Am I hearing things?

“Let me guide your mana…”

Dad?

His voice repeats, like an echo bouncing through a tunnel. Over and over. Until everything else vanishes. Just one long, soft tone remains. A hum. Gentle, eerie. Then—cool. My body, once burning like fire, starts to settle. The air against my skin feels like silk after a storm. My arms feel weightless, my breath begins to return in shallow gasps. When my vision clears, I lock eyes with my father. His face is tight, trembling slightly. Not with fear—something else. Sadness?

No… not sadness. It’s something deeper. Brokenness.

His eyes are wet with it. His mouth opens to speak but no words come out. And then— My body goes limp. I collapsed into his arms. His warmth is the last thing I feel. The ringing fades. I hear his voice again—but now it sounds distant, muffled, like he's shouting from underwater.

“Physician! Now! Get a mage in here! Immediately!” he roars. “Bring Gabriel immediately.”

“Sorry” I wept weakly out of breath.

“Oh my child. You have nothing to apologize for.” He whispered barely audibly.

What did he say? I wish I would stop drifting in and out.

The room vibrates. I feel the stone floor tremble beneath the platform. Magic pulses—uncontrolled, unstable, wild. And I fade away completely, swallowed by darkness, held in my father’s arms as my newly awakened mana flares for the very first time. My thoughts drift off:

Ring. Ring.

Joleen groans and grabs her phone from the nightstand, barely opening her eyes. The glow of the screen blinds her.

Unknown Number.

She hesitates, thumb hovering over “Decline.”

But something—instinct, guilt, desperation—makes her swipe “Answer.”

“Hello?”

“Hey, Joleen? It’s Kendra from work. Listen—I know it’s your day off, but we’re swamped. Mia called out again. Can you come in? Just for a few hours? You'll be working with Ethan.”

Joleen sits up slowly, rubbing her temples. Grumbling at her slight irritation, wanting to be alone in her room. Shades down, room dark with her under the covers.

“Today?” she asks, her voice scratchy. “I had plans.”

“I wouldn’t ask unless we really needed you. Just until the afternoon rush passes.”

Joleen sighs and stares at the ceiling. Debating with herself.

“Fine. I’ll be there in an hour.”

“Thank you! You’re a lifesaver.”

Click.

Was that a dream?Why is it playing back like a movie?

Then again when I had gained Rena's memories they also felt like a movie. It also felt like I was a part of it. Like they were also mine, and not in a  possession type of way.

 My mind drifts back off against my best to fight. The dream shifts—water rippling.

Now I am Rena again. Younger, about  seven.Kneeling in the stream, sunlight dappling across her arms. Her mother is beside her, sleeves rolled, holding her hands in the water like it's sacred.

“Close your eyes,” her mother says softly. “Feel the current. It’s like your mana.”

Rena’s eyes flutter shut. She hears birdsong. The whisper of the stream.

“I don’t feel anything,” she pouts.

Her mother chuckles, brushing a damp strand of hair from Rena’s forehead.

“That’s because you’re looking with your eyes. Mana isn’t sight, it’s life. It’s your blood. Your soul. It’s the breath in your lungs and the spark in your spirit. It’s always there—just quiet.”

Beep. Beep. Switch—

The crosswalk chirps. Joleen stands at the corner, coffee in hand, watching traffic crawl by. Her bank looms down the street, glass doors glinting in the morning sun. She almost turned around. Almost calls in sick too. But she doesn’t. She walks in. Smiles at Ethan. Nods at her manager. Clocked in like always. As if her life doesn’t only have minutes left.

The dream fades. Back to the stream. Rena sits on the bank, older now, fifteen.  She is sitting in the water, waist-deep, eyes closed in concentration with her mother. A swirl of light gathers around her fingertips—faint, soft, like fireflies.

“I don’t have any mana,” Rena murmurs bitterly. “If I did, wouldn’t it have shown by now?”

Her mother opens her eyes and wades closer. “Some lights take longer to spark. Some flames need wind to grow.”

Rena frowns. “That’s poetic, but it doesn’t help.”

Her mother cups her face.

“You are a river that carved a mountain, Rena. Your mana is quiet. But it’s there.”

Bang. Cracks begin to form out of thin air. Through the cracks colors of the rainbow shine through.

 What just happened? Screams. 

What’s happening? A sharp pain hit me. What happened? The dream with mom? My chest, what is that sharp pain. The strange wetness?

Joleen’s body hits the floor. Sound cuts out. Only the alarm wails. Red. Blurred. Heat crawling across her chest. She sees Ethan’s horrified guilty face. She tries to scream. Hand reaching for the wound to see if it's real? 

No breath comes.

 Why am I seeing this? Why am I reliving this? Her’s? Mine?

Why does it feel like I am reliving my murder at the bank? I collapse to the ground. Screams erupt everywhere. And the robber frustratedly starts shooting randomly. It's hard to breathe….. I still feel the bullet.

Back in the stream again, Rena is underwater now. Her limbs feel heavy. She stares up at the sun cutting through the surface. Her mother reaches down, hands glowing. Like a shadowy figure. 

“Reach for me,” her mother says. “Let it in. Let it flow.”

Rena stretches her arm up. Light blooms in her chest like a sun waking up.

Joleen is dying. But she’s smiling now.Because something soft is taking her away.

A wind, a stream, a heartbeat. Her soul stretches thin… and then reforms.

I gasp. Still feeling slightly asleep. But my body rises slightly from the gemstone platform as magic circles flare beneath me—white light bending, pulsing, responding.

 Did I just die? Did our life flash before us?

The room vibrates, my father grips the crystal beside me with one hand, eyes wide as raw magic licks at the edges of his coat. I start to slowly doze back off. And inside the stream of my dreams, I hear our mother's voice one last time: 

“Mana is life. But it’s also a memory. And yours… is just beginning.” The water is still. 

Sunlight dances on the surface, and the leaves above filter the light into gold and emerald. The breeze is soft. Familiar. And sitting across from me in the stream, the real Rena half-submerged,  I was on the other side, old me: Joleen.

Her reflection in the water doesn’t ripple. Her clothes are soaked but glowing faintly, like something not quite solid. Her eyes, though, are real. Heavy. Burdened. With a secret only she knows.

“…It’s not fair,” I said finally, picking at a petal floating past. “I didn’t get to say goodbye. I didn’t even know that day would be my last. There were still things I should've done. Just when my life was starting to get back on track."I mumbled. 

I wanted to make up with my dad. Maybe get back into chemistry like he wanted, what we bonded over. There are still things I haven't been able to do yet.

Rena watches me quietly. Then leans back on her palms, sighing. “I would probably be able to relate more if I ever left the cabin,” she replies. “I’ve only ever known the cabin. The woods. My mother.  I truly know nothing outside of that. So don’t talk to me about something unfair.” She says it with a grin, not malice. “You think I got to choose any of this either?”

I stare at her, then laugh weakly. “No. I guess you didn’t.”

“Yet here we finally are.” She looks down at her hands and smiles. “Do you believe in descendents and reincarnations?"

Did she just say ‘finally?’

“I don't think it's completely far-fetched,” I replied. 

Besides, look at the situation I'm in. A new world? A new body? This sounds like reincarnation to me….. what does she mean by finally? Am I overthinking it?

We sit in silence, both letting the stream flow around us. It glimmers with traces of light. Mana or memory — maybe both.

“Is it… okay?” I asked gently. “That I’m… here? In your life? Is it okay to be around your dad? When you haven't even got a chance to know him?

I'll be hurt if I was a long lost daughter who returns just to find someone else playing daughter with my dad.

Rena looks at me, her eyes warm and amused. “What life?” she teases. “I lived in one room for twenty three years. I had one person. One creek. One goal: wait and hope something sparks, your spark. I lived, Joleen. I really did. I experienced a freedom very little will experience but with that came isolation and poverty. I loved my mother  and she loved me. She loved us. Do I often dislike her choice? Yes. But I understood and respected it. We’ll have a happier future” she smiled. “ Besides, I'll know him through you. I am happy that you're here.”

What was the choice? To up and disappear? Should I ask?.... She says she is okay with our situation.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “But what do you want me to do with this? This second chance—your body—your world? That weird crypt sweet speech”

Rena stands up slowly, water dripping from her fingertips as she reaches for my hand.

“We’re one in the same. My life is yours. Yours is mine. Whatever you do… we’ll live it together. Whatever you learn we'll discover together.You choose the path: adventure, knowledge, travel, lounge, a healer, a creator,even romance. I honestly don't mind if you want to become a villainess” She laughed and so did I. 

Any path I decide to take? Whatever I decide to do, she'll be okay with it.  Well that limits my options.

I blinked. The words echo around me hollow and heavy. There’s warmth in Rena’s eyes… but something in the air shifts. The reflection in the stream distorts—My face in the water has Rena’s eyes. Or maybe it's the other way around. A strange feeling crawls up my spine—a quiet, eerie knowing. I don't pull away. But I wondered, suddenly, who’s really in control. She starts to fade. “ I’m with all that fun stuff .Except romance, "I yelled. She’s gone. 

Romance makes my brain meltdown. Then again dad always wanted me to get married…. Preferably to his ‘young’ co-worker who works with him to create new medicine.