Unlike yesterday, tonight feels much better in terms of sleep. I was exhausted and mentally drained after waiting so long for Oliver, but somehow, it helped. I ended up getting a whole night’s rest, filled with good dreams, and when I woke up this morning, I felt refreshed.

After that kiss yesterday, everything’s a bit of a blur. He rode off on his bike, calling out, “Tomorrow, 3.30. At your secret spot.” Later, he messaged me to say sorry again for making me wait so long and not showing up. He also wouldn’t stop talking about the kiss – he said he’d never felt anything like that before. I couldn’t believe it. I mean, he’s probably kissed plenty of girls, beautiful ones, and he never felt that way with them? That means something. I’ll take it as a compliment.

I’m humming to myself while eating cereal when Mom walks by. She looks completely worn out. She has put on weight recently, and because she’s so short, her face appears fuller, with a double chin and smaller eyes. Her short brown hair’s starting to grey, and she never bothers to dye it. That doesn’t help either.

I’ve always wondered why she can’t spend a bit of time at the gym or even try to make herself look more presentable. Forget the gym, she won’t pay a cent at a salon either. I probably take after her in that way. I hate that about myself.

“Scarlet, dear,” she says. “I’m not trying to be nosy, but where were you so late after school yesterday?”

“I was with Juliet,” I lie. “Studying at her place.”

“Why couldn’t you just send a quick text if you were going to be late? I’ve told you so many times, I want to know you’re safe.”

“I am safe, Mom. I don’t do anything stupid. You don’t need to worry.”

“It’s not that I think you’ll do anything stupid,” she says. “It’s the world I don’t trust. It’s not the same anymore. There’s danger everywhere, just waiting for the right moment. And if bad luck strikes, there’s nothing we can do.”

“You’re barely ever home anyway. What can you do?” I snap back.

She doesn’t answer. Just walks off to her room, probably to sleep. It looks like it’s her day off, and that’s all she ever does on those.

I slip on a grey tennis skirt and a plain white tee. Most mornings, I throw my hair up in whatever style I can manage. But today, I take the time to pull it into a neat, tight ponytail. When I look in the mirror, I don’t see anything 'magnificent,' like Oliver always says. Just a regular girl.

I’ve never been crazy about how I look, especially my big, round eyes – people always say they’re beautiful, but I don’t see it. They’re grey, which is not too bad, but I still wish I had blue eyes like Oliver. And his hair? It’s smooth and silky. Mine’s somewhere between wavy and frizzy, with a colour that can’t seem to decide if it’s blonde or brown. I’m never truly happy with what I have.

I give myself a quick once-over and head out to the bus stop.

The school day goes by like yesterday. I see Oliver a few times, but he doesn’t even look my way. Not once. But that’s how things are with us. It’s only between me and him. He doesn’t want anyone to know. Not yet.

At lunch, Julie walks up after I finish eating.

“I want to tell you something,” she says.

Right away, I can tell by the look on her face that it’s serious. For a second, I think she might know about me and Oliver. Maybe he told her. They’re siblings, after all. My brain starts scrambling for a reason I didn’t tell her. Perhaps I’ll say it’s still new, and I’m not even sure what it is yet.

“What is it, Julie?” I ask.

“I saw your videos on Oliver’s phone,” she says

“What videos?” I ask, suddenly tense.

“He has a bunch. You eating, walking, sleeping, staring out the window in class… even one from the other day when you were sitting on the sofa at our house.”

I remember that. He was across from me, acting like he was scrolling through his phone. It turns out he was recording me. For a second, I think it’s sweet – my secret crush had a crush on me too.

But then Julie keeps going. “I asked him about it, and he said it’s something he does to pass time.”

My stomach sinks. I have no idea what to say.

“You’re my best friend,” she says, gently squeezing my arm. “I don’t want him using you or playing games. That’s why I’m telling you this.” She hesitates. “I don’t know if you already know, but everyone else does. He’s dating Emily.”

Emily. Julie’s best friend.

I’ve seen Oliver talk to her lots of times, but I always thought it was because she is Julie’s best friend. I was wrong. He’s dating her.

It feels like the ground is crumbling beneath my feet.