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What's Cooking In the Horror Kitchen?

Dish 4: Chocolate Cake Monster Opening Acrostic

Dish 4: Chocolate Cake Monster Opening Acrostic

Jul 24, 2025

"Maybe I shouldn't have joined the paranormal food investigation team.
You know, I'm honestly getting pretty

Suspicious of that anonymous blogger.
Undeniably, they're pretty dangerous if they're willing to
Search my IP address to find out my name and
Possibly location. For the record,
I didn't put my name or anything on my
Comment when I said
I was interested in joining the paranormal food investigation team.
Of course I didn't, I know, unless it's a business venture to
Never use your real name online.
Since my odd jobs website isn't live yet it

Absolutely means they looked up my IP Address and then
Basically did a whole lot
Of digging on me. Maybe they even looked
Up my name on
The university website. Which, if

That's the case, I am a bit
Horrified. I get they want to know more about their
Applicants, but, they could have just asked, and I'd have been happy
To answer in an email or otherwise.

At the end of the day, they're probably
Not trustworthy, but I don't want to leave the team. For
One thing, it gives me something to do when I have
No odd jobs to take care of. Since I haven't started that service just
Yet, I can squeeze in a few
More. It's also quite unlikely I'll get a ton of
Odd jobs anyway. At least,
Unlikely if I don't advertise myself. I am not
Super active on social media. I mean, I'm

Following my college friends
On there and my roommates, but we're
On the opposite side of the world now.
Don't get me wrong, I have money saved if I have to go out of the country,

But, eh. I don't think this will work out that way.
Let's hope I get a lot
Of requests fast so I can
Get a head start on my restaurant! But, I
Guess the world won't
Ever completely work in my favor. I considered
Removing the portion

About me being the valedictorian, but
Removing it would probably
Erase any chances of me

Getting traction to the website. Not saying that people will find me
Reliable if I have that
On my site, but I feel like it
Would be better to have
It there rather than
Not having it there. But, I
Guess it could go either way anyway.

Now, honestly, I have no idea what is in store for me today. Feel kind
Of tired after dealing with
That hotpot ghost in Japan.

One thing is for sure, I'm
Not jumping into another investigation today.
Let's just pause that for a bit.
Yes, pause. I'm pretty sure those

Dastardly neighbor kids want me to bake scones.
I'm definitely going to make their mother pay a
Disgusting amount for that, an annoyance fee, if you will!

Though, I am
Hoping she's given up on
Ever asking me to come over.
Yes, I am crossing my fingers and

Toes. Okay, not toes, but, you get what I mean! Please,
Retract that statement of wanting scones.
As, I don't want to deal with those
Children of hers. They're always waking me up
Every morning, splashing away! Every

Morning. I don't know how they can stand it,
You know? They

Can't just use that
Obnoxious pool of theirs every day! Ugh,
Maybe I'll add a
Multitude of charges, but
Eh. Hopefully she decided to
Not ask me again!
That would honestly

Be so amazing if she doesn't want to
Anymore. No offense to my neighbor, but I
Can't stand how loud her
Kids are! If she asks me

To babysit, forget it. For
One thing, I have

More important things to do,
Especially since I'm starting

The odd jobs business soon. I
Have no time to
Ever watch over loud kids.
You know, honestly, I

Probably should add a
Rule in the no section
On the topic of
Babysitting. I
Am not going to
Babysit anyone.
Let me just say that right now.
You know, it's honestly not worth it. I have tied the

Knot on all the
Nos already, and it's already too late to edit to include more.
Oh, well. I'm supposed to be flexible, not a
Wet noodle who doesn't accept anything.

Might as well babysit if it involves cooking.
Yes, cooking. What? I

Am not ever ordering takeout if I
Don't have to. Look, I adore food from any source,
Don't get me wrong, but the best source is me. If I want a five star
Restaurant that has food from
Every culture I
Should learn myself before
Stuffing my face with food from restaurants.

Though, like I said, I'm
Obviously not going to babysit those brats.
Oh, well, I guess I'll bake

Scones, but only
If the mother pays me! I'm not
Going to otherwise.
However, there is something I am

Worried about. What if there's food ghosts who
Haunt me while I'm helping
Out? No one will pay me

At all if that happens! I'm
Rather terrified I won't
Ever get business what people learn

That I
Have the power to draw food monsters and ghosts to me! Well,
Eh, this far they've been pretty sparing, but
You never know! They are

Are probably hiding everywhere!
Not sure where else
Yet, but they could be hiding anywhere.
Well, I guess I will deal with
Any that come my way, but
Yikes, this is my life now!"

Palamon
Pala

Creator

#cooking #horror #poetry #acrostic #comedy #absurb #food #ghosts #paranormal #supernatural

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Dish 4: Chocolate Cake Monster Opening Acrostic

Dish 4: Chocolate Cake Monster Opening Acrostic

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