Title: I Was Isekai’d With My Wife and Now She’s the Final Boss of the Fandom Author: H. Behevras Genre: Comedy, Isekai, Music, Married Protagonist, Parody Tags: #FinalBossWife #MetalheadMC #BoybandHell #TrashIsekaiButActuallyGenius

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CHAPTER 14: Of Guild Registrations and Small Egos

The Adventurer’s Guild stood tall in the center of the city, a grand building carved from dragon bones and egos. Inside, the air smelled like sweat, ale, and desperation. Banners of legendary parties lined the walls. Raiko walked in with his chest puffed and his tattered cloak fluttering like a defeated metal band’s tour flag—but his equipment was visibly improved, thanks to Noona’s begrudging generosity.

Noona followed calmly, arms crossed, her eyes scanning the room like a queen inspecting a peasant tavern.

> “This place stinks of delusions,” she muttered.

Raiko sniffed proudly. “That’s the scent of destiny, Noona. Our destiny.”

At the front desk, a bored receptionist yawned while stamping papers. When Noona approached, her posture straightened instantly, blinking in confusion at why this stunning, intimidating woman was hanging around this wild-haired weirdo.

> “Oh! You… you’re here to register as an adventurer, miss?”

> “Yes,” Noona replied coolly. “We’re forming a party. It's named The Howling Blade.”

Raiko gasped slightly.

> “It’s… it’s beautiful. Like a death growl in poetry form.”

The receptionist handed over the paperwork in record speed.

> (under breath) “Why do I feel like they’re gonna get arrested again…”

Just as they finished registration, the guild doors slammed open.

Enter: Flamboyant Adventurer #132.

Wavy golden hair, glittering armor polished to reflect sunlight directly into people’s eyes, and a sword so ornate it probably had its own entourage. His party trailed behind like backup dancers in a perfume commercial.

> “My lady!” he said, with the flair of someone trying to seduce a mirror. “You shine brighter than my blade. Surely you don’t plan to associate with that?”

He pointed at Raiko, who was now chewing on a stale piece of dried meat like it was a microphone.

Noona raised an eyebrow. “That?”

> “I mean him. This… riff-battered man-child.”

Raiko wiped his mouth. “Oi.”

> “No offense, good sir,” Flamboyant added with a smug grin, “But you don’t exactly scream ‘elite party material.’ Why not join a real party? I could offer you a place by my side… as long as you can keep up.”

Raiko puffed up slightly.

> (to himself) “Okay okay, chest out, jawline tense, tragic past aura: ON.”

> (out loud, dramatically) “BEHOLD! The thunder returns to the storm of battle!”

Noona (flat): “You have spinach on your cloak.”

Flamboyant paused.

Noona blinked once. Then twice. Then smirked.

> “Keep up with what? Your skincare routine or your self-delusions?”

Flamboyant flinched.

She stepped forward slowly, calmly.

> “You speak so highly of yourself. And yet…”

She tilted her head ever so slightly, gaze slowly lowering until it landed right at the man’s pelvis.

> “…you’re this proud with that?”

Gasps filled the guild hall. Someone in the back dropped their sword.

Flamboyant instinctively covered his crotch with his cape, turning bright red.

Noona didn’t stop.

> “You walked in here like you were hiding a legendary artifact. Turns out, you’re just smuggling disappointment.”

Laughter erupted. Even the receptionist choked on their tea. Someone started a slow clap.

> “I don’t know who she is… but I want her to verbally end my enemies.”

> “I want her to verbally end me.”

Raiko stood stunned, then slowly placed a hand over his heart, like witnessing art.

Flamboyant stammered about "inappropriate behavior" and "foul play" before storming out, his entourage following like defeated backup dancers.

Noona adjusted her gloves casually. “Next?”

Raiko grinned, eyes sparkling.

> “Noona, that was brutal.”

> “What’s an adventurer party without a little crowd control?”

The receptionist jotted something down in the guild’s daily report.

> “Dear Melda, a beautiful woman just nuked a man’s pride with only her words. I may never recover.”

Raiko wiped a proud tear.

> “I knew it. I always knew your words were weapons.”

Noona (deadpan): “Then you better wear armor.”

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TO BE CONTINUED

— Author’s Note —

Today’s special skill acquired: Verbal Weapon Mastery (Lv. 99)

Honestly, I think Noona’s tongue could kill a dragon before Raiko even finishes tuning his guitar.

– H. Behevras

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© 2025 H. Behevras | First published on Royal Road

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