"Kiss me, Tristan."

Shit. He's asking me to. He wants me to.

He wanted to. God, he wanted to.

But he couldn't. Not this time.

Not anymore.

"I can't." His voice barely made a sound as he pulled away, chopsticks clattering into the bowl.

Renee's expression darkened. "Why?"

Because I'm a coward. Because I'm confused. Because I don't know what the hell I want anymore. He already knew the answer.

"You know why." Tristan looked away. "It's wrong."

Renee exhaled sharply, jaw tightening. "Having sex was already wrong. Why can't we-"

"Because we agreed not to let this ruin everything." Tristan cut him off. "I won't cheat on Nicole."

Won't cheat on Nicole. Right. Like what we've been doing for months wasn't already cheating but it wasn't cheating though... Renee's face went blank. But inside? Inside, he was raging.

Why now? Why did she have to come back now? The thought burned through him like acid. After all these months of having him to myself, she just waltzes back in and suddenly he's Mr. Fucking Faithful? He cut himself off, hating the direction of his thoughts. I need more time with him. Just... more time. Is that too much to ask?

"Yeah," Renee muttered, standing up. "How could I forget?" He grabbed the bowl and chopsticks and walked toward the kitchen.

I'm such an asshole. Look at him. I hurt him. Tristan watched him go, frustration curling in his gut.

He still wanted Renee. Just as badly as before. Maybe even more.

This is insane. I should want Nicole. I should be happy she's back. But all I can think about is him.

For three years, they had been wrapped up in each other. Then Nicole had come along, breaking that spell for three years. But when she left, Tristan had found himself gravitating toward Renee again, drawn in like gravity.

And now?

Now he was confused.

More than confused. I'm completely fucked.

"I'm leaving."

Tristan snapped out of it. "What?"

"Mom's expecting us for the weekend. We can go tomorrow or the day after. When do you want to leave?"

He's running away. Of course he is. "Next."

"Alright. I'm heading home."

No. He can't leave. Not like this. Tristan shot up, grabbing Renee's wrist before he could reach the door. "Hey..."

Renee turned, unimpressed. "What?"

"Are you mad?"

Of course I'm mad. I'm fucking livid. Renee scoffed. "Why would I be?" He yanked his hand away. "Tristan, I don't have time for-"

"Stay the night."

What? Why is he asking me to stay?

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to."

Liar. You want to stay. You always want to stay.

Tristan sighed. "You are mad."

"I'm not. Now get your hands off-"

Tristan tightened his grip.

He's not letting me go. I hate it, he should let me go. 

Renee punched him in the stomach.

Ow. Fuck, he hits hard. Tristan doubled over, caught off guard-but before Renee could escape, Tristan shoved him back, pinning him to the wall, hands above his head.

His body against mine. Christ, this is torture.

"Renee, calm the fuck down!" Tristan snapped at him, their chests pressed together.

Calm down? How can I calm down when he's pressed against me like this?

Silence followed.

Heavy breaths.

I can feel his heartbeat. It's racing.

When he felt Renee was now calm, his grip loosened.

"Can I go now?" Renee's voice was barely above a whisper.

"No."

"What the fuck?! Why am I even asking you?" Renee muttered, snatching his keys off the floor. He hadn't even realized they'd slipped from his grip. He straightened his shirt, trying to compose himself.

He looks rattled. Good. At least I'm not the only one losing my mind here.

"Can you please just stay? For the night?" Tristan asked, his voice quieter now.

Renee's expression was unreadable, and he hated that.

Renee's scoffed, "Why?"

"Because I need you here."

Oh, fuck me.

Renee's heart flipped in his chest, an annoying, unwelcome reaction. What the hell did he mean by that? The thought hit him like a punch to the gut. He needs me? For what? He has Nicole now. He has no business needing me. Not anymore. Not when it makes my chest feel like this.

He wanted to ask, wanted to push for clarity, but Tristan spoke first.

"I need you here for myself. You're still my best friend, even if things aren't like they were months ago. I still-" Tristan hesitated. "I still loved the moments we shared, and I don't want us to be ghosts to each other."

Best friend. Right. Is that what we're calling it now? The words hit Renee harder than he expected. His heart swelled.

What the fuck is happening to me?

His heart never swelled.

Never. Not for anyone. But here I am, getting all soft because he said he needs me.

But Tristan's words made it so. And for a split second, all Renee wanted to do was grab him, kiss him, and tell him he wasn't angry anymore. Because he got what he needed. Proof. Proof that Tristan still wanted him around.

Even if it's just as his "best friend."

Instead, he crossed his arms, forcing a bored expression. "And your point is...?"

God, I'm such a coward. Why can't I just tell him how I feel?

Tristan sighed and placed his hands on Renee's shoulders. "I care about you, Renee. A lot. If you don't believe it, I don't care, but I do. So I don't want you leaving angry, driving home pissed off, forgetting to hit the brakes, getting into an accident, and then ending up with a concussion-"

He is annoying! 

"If I agree to stay, will you shut the fuck up?" Renee snapped, cutting off the ridiculous spiral.

Tristan grinned. "Of course."

That smile. Damn him and that smile.

Renee rolled his eyes and shoved Tristan's hands off him before stepping further inside. He glanced around. What now? I can't just jump him like before, so... drinking?

"Come on, let's watch a movie," Tristan said behind him.

Renee turned, giving him a disgusted look. "Fuck no. You know I don't watch movies."

Movies are boring. And sappy. And make me think too much.

"I don't care. You're gonna watch it."

Renee shook his head. "No."

"Don't you dare throw those shoes anywhere. Give them to me." Tristan glared at him.

He knows me too well. Renee smirked. "I'm still gonna do it anyway." He chucked them toward the stairs.

Tristan groaned. "God, why do I even tolerate you?"

Because you love me. Even if you won't admit it.

"Because you care about me?" Renee teased, grinning at the frustration on Tristan's face.

Tristan exhaled dramatically. "Yeah, unfortunately, I do." Then his expression shifted-more serious now. "And you're still watching that movie with me. Whether you like it or not."

Renee scoffed. "And you call me the stubborn one."

"You are. I just know how to get my way with you."

He does. He always has. And I hate that about him.

"Piss off."

That was how he ended up sitting through a movie marathon with Tristan, demolishing their sixth bag of chips. They were on the second movie when Tristan got up to make dinner.

This isn't so bad. Actually, it's kind of... nice. Shit. I'm getting soft.

Later, Tristan walked back in, carrying a plate of food. Renee, still sitting on the floor, was surprisingly focused on the TV.

"Someone's enjoying the movie," Tristan teased as he set the plate on the coffee table.

"I still don't like it."

Liar. You're totally into it.

Tristan scoffed. "Yeah? You've been watching for hours just to keep your eyes busy, huh?"

Renee turned to glare at him, but Tristan was already smirking. He was too close-way too close.

Why does he always sit so close? Doesn't he know what it does to me?

Renee swallowed. "I just didn't want you to feel bad about me not watching."

Tristan's brows knitted together, making him look unfairly adorable.

Okay, I definitely did not just think that. He's not adorable. He's an asshole. A stupidly handsome asshole, but still an asshole.

"That's the stupidest excuse I've ever heard. Admit it-you love the movie. I saw you smiling at the beach scene."

Fuck. He caught me.

"I wasn't."

"You were."

"I wasn't."

"You were," Tristan insisted. "And why would you sit through something you don't like just to spare my feelings? We both know you're not that nice."

Ouch. Harsh but... probably true.

Renee gasped. "Hey! I can be nice when I want to be!"

Tristan shook his head. "Nope. Don't believe it."

Renee scowled. "I'm nice! If you don't believe it, then fuck off!"

Tristan laughed. "You see? You just told me to fuck off. That's not a nice thing to say."

"It is, 'cause it suits a dick like you."

"See? Not nice."

Am I seriously arguing with Tristan about whether I'm nice? This is ridiculous. He's ridiculous. I'm ridiculous. We're both ridiculous.

Renee groaned. Was I seriously arguing with Tristan about this? Fucking Tristan?

He exhaled sharply. "If I say I actually love this movie, will you believe that I'm nice?"

Please say yes so we can end this stupid argument.

Tristan blinked. "Do you?"

Damn it. He's calling my bluff.

Renee sighed, then nodded. "Yeah."

Tristan grinned like he'd just won the lottery. "So you weren't just watching it for my sake, and you actually wanted to?"

Renee nodded again.

"And you were smiling at the beach scene?"

Wait. How did we get back to this? He's doing it again, isn't he?

Renee hesitated, then exhaled. "Yeah."

Tristan beamed. "Perfect! That wasn't so hard, was it?"

And then it hit Renee.

That manipulative bastard.

"Fuck! You manipulative twat! You tricked me!" Renee grabbed a handful of chips and hurled them at Tristan, who burst into laughter.

"I told you I had my ways."

He's too pleased with himself. I should be annoyed, but... God, I love his laugh.

"Shut-just shut up. It's not funny." Renee groaned, grabbing the plate of food. "Fuck, this smells so good."

Tristan suddenly stopped laughing. "We're sharing."

Of course we are.

"Nah. I don't think so."

Tristan frowned. "Why?"

"Because I said so."

Because sharing means sitting closer. And I'm already too close to losing my mind.

Of course, they ended up eating together anyway. After a little arguing, the problem always solved itself.

It always does with us. Even when we're fighting, we end up exactly where we started. Together.