!TRIGGER WARNING! 

Extreme self-harm

Sharp objects being where they shouldn't be

FIVE

The shower ran cold. The lights were dim. The bathroom is almost too dark. Well, maybe not too dark, but the red color of my blood seemed a little too much like black. Maybe it's because there's too much blood and too little water. Maybe the smoke in my hands is blurring my vision. 

The razor dug deeper in my flesh, restraining the blood that's streaming off of my waist all the way down to my feet and then the drain. 

My hand rested over it, gripping it tightly and smoking a cig from the other. 

I wonder, if I pull it out, how much blood will gush out? Will it satisfy me? 

Will I finally not be disgustingly upset? 

It pisses me off. 

I mutter under my breath, “Fuck…” and pull it out with a groan and too much speed and reckless strength. The blood did gush out. 

Where there were water droplets, now rested the blood droplets. On the wall, the drain, the tap. 

A laugh rumbles in the shower. 

Through my chest. 

I moan. Embarrassing. Moaning because of a knife? How sadistic can I be? I push it back in, in another location, near my collarbone. 

“Augh.. “

A grunt escapes my lips, it doesn't even hurt. So dramatic, my lips curl into a grin, and I huff, and my eyes close. 

I laugh through it.

Thud, thud, thud.

Knocks on my door.

Right, I forgot I was at a funeral. Someone's bullshitting through the door, can't hear them though, my mind is too busy killing itself.

The thought makes me dig the knife further into my flesh.

Pwah!

Blood floods my mouth.

I grin sadistically.

How beautiful..how delicious.

I can finally breathe.

Hah…