The Next Day...

Shop
So, here we are again. Back on the Pot Shot. Now we meet the THIRD of Kosumi's victims, who's right here with us in the studio. Keo, aren't you nervous to be here with, y'know, HIM?

Keo
To be honest, yeah. If you remember Oddball's story, I was the 'girl' who met up with him at the theater.

Shop
You were?

Keo
Yes, I was. And I was wearing a hoodie and jeans, so I dunno why she called me that.

Shop
Well, you could be intersex.

Keo
(Sighing.) Probably, but I don't have time to find out. You know they rejected my last karyotype test? They took my blood, and said, 'yeah we'll check your genetics', and you know what?

Kosumi
...what?

Keo
(Upset.) A month later, they told me they threw it out. Said my doctor didn't have proper authorization to ask for the test.

Shop
So how did it get to the point where they took your blood?

Keo
That's a good fucking question, isn't it? Makes me think they just don't want me to know. But that's life, I guess. At least in places like this.

Kosumi
Well, yeah, being transgender is historically difficult-

Keo
Except I was born in the middle, already. So what did I do wrong? You're not supposed to cross over, or you're just not supposed to be there? Then why the fuck do they care so much, either way? Whose fault is it?

Shop
Can we stay on topic, please?

Keo
(Ranting.) Like, would a society of frogs do this to their own people? Do you think they have frog churches where they say you can't spontaneously change your sex? That it's against Frog Jesus?

Kosumi
Okay, now I would RATHER talk about what happened. Look, Keo, we went on a few dates, but...

Keo
(Sighing.) I heard. Coach told you to drop me like a rock.

Kosumi
Everyone's parents were really upset about us-

Keo 
We were making out in a shed, in your backyard. It was just your granddad, who was upset, Koce. Just your granddad, and some prossholes from the church. They raised a little stink, and Principal Seawall gave up too easy. She's too scared to lose her seat.

Kosumi
You would be too, if you knew what it was like-

Keo
Like where? On the res? Where we all live?

Kosumi
(Resigned.) Never mind.

Keo
(Angry.) No, say it!

Kosumi
(Starting up again.) Maybe on your side of town, things are good. But not on mine. You don't understand how... fucking pissed my granddad was. Said I was throwing my life away for some 'queer fun', when I should be focusing on soccer. He gave me these-

Shop
(Shocked.) Oh, whoah. Are those bruises, or cuts?

Keo
(Quiet.) Holy shit.

Kosumi
They're BOTH. And it's not as bad as it looks. He threw a bottle at me, and it broke. That's all. He even helped me clean it up. But he told me, he said, 'Don't you dare throw it all away, like I just threw this bottle.' And that...

Quiet sobbing.

Kosumi
(Crying.) I just told him I didn't know any better, and I'd straighten up. So I did. And when Coach told me...

Keo
...that he was setting you up.

Shop
(Dawning.) ...you took the bait!

Keo
Hook, line, and sinker.

Kosumi
(Confused.) What? What do you mean 'bait'?

Keo
(Frustrated.) Kosumi, that's fishing one-oh-one. Fish don't go after quiet bait. They take the one that looks like it's still alive. The one that looks like it's gonna be a fight, that makes it look like more of a reward. If he had just said 'shut up about being gay', you probably wouldn't have done it. But he told you 'you have to hide everything, stop seeing your boyfriend, and cover for yourself with these two fine honies right here...'

Kosumi
No fucking way. Coach wouldn't.

Keo
Principal Seawall would. She's the boss.

Shop
(Astonished.) No, I get it! They made your orience into a fight, to scare you! Make you jump from the river. Now you're stuck on the line for the rest of your life, unless you rip the lip.

Kosumi
Rip the... lip?

Keo
(Darkly.) You're gonna choke on air, man. Suffocate. We ain't born for it. We were meant to live in the flow. That's what my dad used to say.

Kosumi
What does 'rip the lip' mean?

Shop
You gotta queer out. Do some major gay shit. Prove yourself back to the world. Get a tongue piercing, I guess. Or a lip piercing, cause that would... match the metaphor, here.

Kosumi
(Getting uncomfortable.) I don't gotta rip shit, I'm... I'm not a fish!

Keo
You sold out, man. You took the bait. You got absolutely fished, now you're a fish.

Shop
Never take the bait. That's how fish get cooked.

Keo
Fish sticks, homie. What's that one joke? About the gay fish?

Kosumi
(Upset.) DUDE, SHUT UP!! I'M NOT A FUCKING FISH!!

Cold silence.

Kosumi
(Confessional.) Yeah, I dunno maybe. Listen, when we started seeing one another... I didn't know the rules of being a good date, and I still don't. Just like I barely know how to play soccer, or what its rules are. That's why I always play forward – it's the safest place for me, so I don't screw anything up for the rest of my team. When it came to you, I just... figured it'd be easier to let you go. To let my grandad and the church tell me to back off, to let Coach set me up. Because I didn't want-

Keo
Are you done having your pity party for one?

Kosumi
Excuse me?

Keo
Nobody knows what the rules are, they make them up as they go!

Kosumi
Like, in... soccer?

Keo
No, you idiot, in dating! The only people who don't embarrass themselves are the ones who've been on a LOT of dates. A lot of BAD ones!

Shop
It's true. You have to make a lot of mistakes before you can do the right thing, even if you WANT to do the right thing from the start.

Kosumi
Tab and Oddball didn't make any mistakes.

Keo
(Deadpan.) Tab is a spoiled, faux-virtuous brat who went out with her sister's ex without even waiting a week-

Tab
(From a distance) Hey, screw you, bitch!

Shop
-and Oddball's never been on another date either. But SHE did her research-

Oddball
(Leaning into the microphone.) Yeah, I uh, just came over here to say I read a lot of romance novels. It helps. Also, you guys really shouldn't be doing this in the lunch room, everyone can totally hear what you're saying. It's making things really awkward for the rest of us.

Everyone is silent, even the crowd.

Noko
Yeah, we should probably...

Kosumi
I'm ready! Just one thing, before we start.

Keo
What's that?

Shuffling, then silence. Then, the crowd gasps, says 'Oh, my God!', and starts chattering. One of them starts clapping, and soon everyone is. Cheering.

Keo
(Surprised.) O-oh. Okay, thanks, man.

Kosumi
Like you said. I gotta do some gay shit. You wanna get out of here? All three of us, go hang out?

The cheering and clapping dies down.

Shop
A-are you inviting me to your gay shit? Because I will-

Kosumi
(Clearing his throat.) I mean, not really, that kind of was...

Keo
(Slightly embarrassed.) Yeah, I think the kiss was the gay shit. Just now.

Shop
R-right. Yeah, of course. So we're just gonna hang out...

Kosumi
I'm not... I mean should we?

Awkward silence.

Keo
(Casual.) We can split the bill on that later, let's just find out what we're really here to order, you know what I mean?

Kosumi
Heeeeeyyy!

Shop
Aaaaaayyyy.

Kosumi
Yeah, let's just go chuck some rocks or something.