He smiled at the memory and took a whiff of the hoodie, which still carried his scent from when he wore it a few weeks ago.

He placed the hoodie back where it belonged. Just then, he heard Nicole calling for him from downstairs, so he headed down.

While they were having dinner, Nicole began to ask him questions.

"Tristan, why do I feel like I'm the only one putting in effort to make this work?" Tristan shot her a confused look. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you've been really distant lately. You hardly reply to my texts, you keep making excuses not to hang out, you never answer my calls, and you always say you're busy-"

He interrupted her.

"They're not excuses! Can we just eat without arguing?"

"There you go again! Whenever I try to talk about our relationship, you just want to brush it off. Tristan, what's going on with you?"

"Seriously, Nicky, just drop it! I'm exhausted and I can't deal with this right now."

"You don't want to deal with the fact that our relationship is falling apart?" she pressed on.

"No," he replied flatly.

"Awesome! So this is how you want it to be? Just watch us fall apart while you do nothing? You seem so indifferent, like you want to mess up what we just started all over again." Her voice rose in frustration.

"And whose fault is that? Whose fault is it that we broke up over something so minor? Whose fault is it that you didn't trust me? Whose fault is it that we have to start from scratch?" Tristan snapped, and she flinched at his harsh words. "Maybe if you hadn't left, none of this would have happened!"

"I know, and I'm really sorry for everything. I messed it up, but I just... I want us to go back to how we were before..." She spoke softly, tears welling up in her eyes. His eyes softened seeing her like that.

"I'm really sorry for raising my voice at you. I've just been under a lot of stress lately, and I need some time to think things through. It would be great if we could talk about this later," he said, dropping his fork onto the plate, his appetite gone after all the tension.

"Fine, I guess... Do you want me to go?" she asked, standing up with tears in her eyes.

He looked at her, deep in thought, but he knew what she was really asking. His silence spoke volumes.

"Alright," she said, walking to the living room to grab her bag before heading for the door.

When he heard the front door slam, he leaned back in his chair and let out a long sigh, feeling the frustration rise within him.

He stood up went over to the drink bar, and grabbed a bottle of vodka. Didn't bother pouring it in a glass, just opened it and took swig after swig of the alcohol, drowning in it.

Brunette,

Blue eyes,

Pale skin,

A lovely smile,

An adorable, angry expression,

Renee...

Renee, Renee, Renee.

He groaned and pushed the plate off the table, watching it crash to the floor. This past week had been a nightmare for him ever since he and Renee stopped talking. He couldn't think clearly; he missed everything about him.

All he could focus on was Renee, which is why he buried himself in work every day, trying to distract himself, but it just wasn't working. He felt bitter, hurt, and completely lost.

He wanted to call him, hear his voice, see him again, and express how much he missed him.

He longed to hold him tight and never let go. He regretted letting Renee walk away that first time; he had no words to make him stay. He knew how much pain he had caused him. All those moments he had taken advantage of him, and then pushed him aside-Renee had feelings for him, yet he had used him instead.

Tristan was fully aware of the strong feelings he had for Renee. Ever since he found himself captivated by the way the man looked while he slept, and enjoyed the gentle touches they shared, he realized he cared more than he should. It was suffocating when Renee ignored him or during their fights, which he absolutely despised. He loved seeing Renee wear his clothes and made it his mission to bring a smile to his face every day, wanting to be a part of his life. Deep down, he understood that what he felt was more than just a simple crush.

It was something deeper, something that overwhelmed him, yet he chose to push it aside. He became selfish, not considering how Renee felt, and turned a blind eye to the hurt he saw in his eyes. He acted as if he was oblivious to the situation. He went back to Nicole, thinking it would be fine to keep Renee as a friend and just forget about what had happened between them. But how could he forget those beautiful moments they shared? Even he couldn't erase those memories or stop wanting Renee.

Now, he regrets everything. If only he had handled things differently, it wouldn't have turned into such a chaotic mess. He doesn't know how to get out of this mess, he doesn't want to want to be with Nicole anymore but how was he going do it without hurting her. He had already lost the man who captured his heart, the one he unexpectedly fell in love with. The man he had come to cherish and wanted to love completely.

He was helpless.

But he had to find a way out of this, He had to do that or nothing. He's done enough shitty things as it is.

But now,

He simply craved to hear the man's voice, just this once. He needed to know if he was alright, to understand how he was doing. Then a thought crossed his mind-he wasn't sure if it would work, but he felt compelled to try.

He hurriedly locked the front door and stumbled up the stairs to his room. With heavy eyelids, he searched for his phone and found it resting on the bed. A drunken smile spread across his face as he made his way to the large closet to grab the hoodie.

Returning to his bedroom, he settled on the floor beside his nearly empty vodka bottle.

He dialed Renee's number using the new SIM card he had recently purchased, hoping that Renee would pick up since he was never fond of answering calls from unknown numbers.

The phone rang once, twice, three times... and then more, but there was no response. Frowning at the screen, he tried again.

It rang once, twice, before Renee finally answered.

"Hello?" His heart raced at the sound of a voice he hadn't heard in what felt like ages.

Words escaped him as tears streamed down his face.

"Hello?" came the voice again, and he simply smiled, leaning against the foot of the bed.

"Hello, who is this?" He longed to speak, to let Renee know it was him calling, but fear held him back-he worried the man would hang up.

After a moment of silence, Renee eventually hung up, not hearing anything from him.

Tristan stared at his phone, taking a deep swig from the nearly empty bottle. Even though it was just a simple "hello," he felt a strange sense of satisfaction from hearing him. He dropped the phone and picked up the hoodie, inhaling its scent deeply as he curled up with it on the cold floor.

The familiar aroma gently lulled him to sleep.