I lie on my back, breathing raggedly, my gaze fixed on the black and gold vaulted ceiling. My chest rises quickly, my lungs burn, my heart pounds so hard it aches against my ribs. My wings are folded beneath me, still trembling. My skin is covered in a thin sheen of sweat, my thighs quiver, and my cock, now soft and sticky against my stomach, reminds me of what I just experienced.

I close my eyes, silent tears sliding down my temples.

I can still feel his fingers on me.
His burning caresses.
His large, warm hand around my throat, holding me without hurting me, yet reminding me I was his.
I can still hear his deep voice in my ear, those dark, sweet words slipping into me like poisoned honey, burning my heart and soul.
I can still feel his tongue on my skin, tasting my shame and pleasure mingled.

A sob shakes me.
What have I become…?

I turn my head slightly. Azrael lies beside me, on his side, one arm folded under his head, the other resting on my stomach. His eyes are closed, long black lashes resting against his high cheekbones. His black hair, loose, frames his strong face. His lips, full and slightly parted, release a slow, deep breath. His chest rises and falls peacefully, his massive muscles relaxed, and I can see the curve of his hips, his flat, hard stomach, that perfect line disappearing beneath the black sheet.

He is so beautiful…
So beautiful it twists my gut with desire just to look at him.
But I can’t stay here.
I can’t.

I turn my head the other way, trying to calm my breathing. My body is heavy, exhausted, drained. Every muscle aches. My throat is dry. But even so… I still feel that fire burning within me. That fire he lit, that forbidden fire, that shameful fire that makes me tremble with pleasure just thinking about it.

I close my eyes and try to ignore the heat of his hand on my stomach. I wait. A long time. Until his breathing grows deeper, slower, until his massive, burning body relaxes completely against the mattress. I wait even longer, praying to find the strength to move.

Finally, I try to shift.
His hand slips from my stomach, falling limply onto the sheet.
I hold my breath.
My heart pounds so loudly I’m sure he can hear it.
I slowly turn onto my side, my legs trembling, my wings getting in the way with every movement. My bare feet touch the cold floor, and a violent shiver runs through me. The stone is freezing beneath my toes. I try to stand, but my legs give out, and I collapse heavily to my knees.

I remain there, unmoving, my forehead pressed against the edge of the bed, breathing quickly, trying to calm my shaking body.
I have to leave.
I have to escape before he takes me completely. Before he breaks me from the inside. Before I become his… for eternity.

I push myself up against the mattress, rising slowly, my muscles protesting every movement. My wings flutter weakly behind me, heavy and sore. I stagger to the door. My hand trembles as it grips the black iron handle, so cold it burns my skin.

I cast one last glance back at the bed.

Azrael still sleeps. His bare chest is half-exposed, his powerful muscles relaxed under the red glow of the flames. Strands of his black hair fall over his peaceful face. He looks… almost human. Almost gentle. A painful lump forms in my throat.

“Forgive me…”

I turn the handle slowly, praying no creak breaks the silence of the room. The door opens onto the dark corridor, lit only by torches with blue flames. The air is hot, thick, heavy with spice and smoke.

I take a step outside.
Then another.
My legs tremble, my hands are cold despite the oppressive heat, and my heart beats so hard it hurts. I don’t know where to go. I don’t know if I can ever escape. But I would rather die in these burning halls than spend another second in that bed, breathing in his scent, feeling that forbidden desire, that shameful fire consuming me from within.

I would rather die…
Than succumb to that demon.
Even though, deep inside, I already know the truth.

I have already succumbed.