“I’m so pleased you decided to come, although I knew you would,” Georgio drawled. “Our relationship is deep enough, do you not agree?”

Artemisia made a non-committal hum, discreetly looking around the room for any sort of suitable weapon. Okay, worst case scenario is that I call our relationship off here and now, and in these sorts of stories, a character like Georgio is likely to attempt to react violently to me breaking up with him. Depending on the type of story, I’ll either be rescued by my love interest-to-be or save myself and look badass whilst doing it.

I’ll prepare for option two, but I can’t say I’ll mind option one.

Luckily, there was a convenient poker hanging next to the fireplace within Artemisia’s reach. Satisfied, she turned her neutral gaze on Georgio and said, “About our relationship…”

“Why don’t I call for some wine before we speak?” Georgio stood and walked to the door. “I’ll make sure they bring out their best.”

“Very well.” Artemisia waved her hand. Perhaps I can put him off by being snooty about the inn. “Make sure it really is their best.”

“Anything for you, my dear,” Georgio said ingratiatingly. He opened the door and called to the innkeeper, and within a few minutes a tray containing two glasses and a bottle of wine had been delivered to their private room.

Clearly wine isn’t often ordered here, Artemisia thought as she looked at the layer of dust on the wine bottle. Georgio poured the two of them drinks before balancing the tray on the mantelpiece.

Artemisia zoned out for a moment as Georgio droned on about his taste in wine. She gave her glass a cursory sniff, before making a face and setting it down. It was a little too dry for her taste. “Anyway, as I was saying before, about our relationship…”

“Yes, dear one?” Georgio replied, leaning forwards. “Do you also agree that the time has come to defy our families and display our love openly to the world, even if it means-”

“What?” Artemisia said sharply, louder than she had intended.

“Hm?” Georgio frowned. “You seem shocked, darling.”

“You want to go public?”

“Go public?” repeated Georgio. “Yes, I suppose, although that’s quite a vulgar way to put it.”

Artemisia coughed. “My apologies, you caught me by surprise. Are you quite sure?”

“I thought you would agree with me.” Georgio sat back in his chair.

Oh god, he’s totally convinced the two of us are madly in love. Either he’s an idiot or Artemisia was a very good actor.

“It’s only that…” Artemisia trailed off as she considered her next words, twiddling her thumbs in her lap. “My family… I’m not sure how they would respond.”

“Badly, of course,” Georgio was flippant. “As would mine. But what would it matter, if we have each other.” This time when he leaned forward, he took Artemisia’s hands, rubbing them in a way that was supposed to be soothing and instead sending a shiver down her spine. I’m glad I’m wearing gloves.

She tried to pull her hands away, but Georgio held fast. “What’s wrong, darling? You’re acting strange. Are you nervous?”

“Forgive me, but we’ve only corresponded through letters before, and now the first time we meet in person you declare you want to make our relationship public? Of course I’m acting a little strange.” Artemisia succeeded in freeing her hands from Georgio and stood up. “I think perhaps I should go.”

“What are you saying, Artemisia? We have met before.”

Artemisia froze. “We have?”

Georgio’s face darkened as he stood too. “What’s wrong with you? I know you were ill, but you’re acting completely differently. As if you’re somebody else.”

What? How did he figure it out when everybody else thinks my personality change is caused by amnesia? Artemisia stared at Georgio in shock. What do I say? How do I manage this situation?

“Is this some sort of trick? Is somebody else forcing you to do this? Tell me, Artemisia!” Georgio approached her with menace in his voice.

Oh god, everything’s going to pot!

“I want to break up.”

The phrase seemed to confuse Georgio, as he stopped mid-stride. “Break up? What in the world do you mean?”

“We should stop this. I am stopping this. I don’t want to see you ever again.”

Georgio paused for a moment. “Your family knows, don’t they? They’re making you end this. How could you be so pathetic, Artemisia? Don’t you love me?”

“No, I don’t.” Artemisia said loudly. “I never have. I was using you for information.”

Georgio actually looked hurt by Artemisia’s admission. “Using me? Using me? How dare you!”

Carried away by adrenaline and panic, Artemisia laughed at his flabbergasted expression. “You really think I would be so foolish as to fall in love with you?”

Artemisia lunged for the poker as Georgio lunged for her. She stumbled over the armchair and got tangled in the hem of her dress, the footstool knocked aside in the chaos, but she managed to grab the poker and hold it out in front of her. Her arms trembled with the weight of it.

Georgio watched her, incandescent with fury. “You lying little minx. When I get hold of you I’m going to make you wish you were never born.”

Male lead, now would be a good time to make your appearance. Georgio was standing between Artemisia and the door back into the main room of the inn. I’m pretty confident I can give him a good whack, but the issue is… I’m not sure the correct amount of strength to use. I’d rather not give him a serious injury, despite his despicable attitude.

She decided the knees were probably the safest place to go for, and was preparing herself to strike when there was a loud knock on the door, followed by it flying open.

Oh thank god! Now, let’s get a good look at this love interest of mine…

“Arte! Are you an idiot or – what is going on here?!”

“Christopher?!”

Artemisia was aghast. For that was who it was, standing dramatically in the doorway.

But… he’s my brother! By blood! Clearly! And he has a wife and child!

Georgio looked between the two of them, his expression changing from that of anger to confusion, then horror as he made the connection.

Christopher strode into the room and grabbed Georgio by the cravat. “What the hell are you doing to my sister?”

“Nothing! She started it! She lied to me! She’s a vulgar seductress! She claimed to hold affection for me when it was nothing but an evil scheme to dig for information.”

“How dare you call Artemisia those words,” Christopher growled, looming over Georgio with a thunderous expression.

Georgio paled, but carried on. “It’s true! You must know, but she sent the most provocative letters to me. I could show you, if you were willing to expose yourself to the private affairs of your sister.”

Those goddamn letters!

“Look, you little Gloriosa bastard.” Christopher yanked Georgio’s cravat so it tightened around his neck. “I do not care what is in those letters. What I do care about is seeing Artemisia having to defend herself from your repugnant self with a makeshift weapon. Now get out of our sight, and if you ever speak of your supposed relationship with my sister again, I will see you and your entire family ruined.”

“You – you don’t have that power!” Georgio gasped, but he sounded only half-sure.

“Would you like to find out?” Christopher said sweetly. “And not only that, but they would know it was your fault. Because you let yourself be led along by my dear sister’s hare-brained scheme that only the most foolish of men would fall for.”

How does he manage to insult me even when standing up for me?

Christopher flung Georgio away from him. Georgio staggered, hand at his throat, before scrambling for the door.

A moment elapsed, before Christopher turned to Artemisia, wearing a smug smile that she would have considered devastatingly handsome had he not been her insufferable brother.

“Arte, are you going to put the poker down now?”