If he heard any of my pep talk, I'm screwed.

Aster braced himself for Calix to judge or criticise him, but what came out of Calix's mouth was not what he had expected.

"The food's ready, but the waiter said they'd serve it once you're back. You sure you're good?"

Maybe he didn't hear it?

"I'm good!"

Aster gave a thumbs up and smiled, trying his best to fool Calix, all while his face was more flushed than it had ever been. Calix simply stared blankly at him, once again impossible to read.

"Shall we head back?"

Calix nodded and turned around, and they both walked back to their table. Aster feared the possibility of awkward silence again, but the moment that they sat down, a waiter arrived with their food. 

"One eggs benedict and one carbonara! Enjoy!"

The heavenly smell of the Eggs Benedict hit Aster's nose immediately. He took a long inhale, savouring it. The sight of the mouth-watering food put him at ease, alleviating the worst of his nerves. The first bite was simply heavenly - the poached egg was perfectly cooked. Even if the rest of the day went disastrously, at least the food was fantastic. Aster was so preoccupied with the delectable dish in front of him that he forgot that Calix was there too.

"Can I ask you something… important? It's really been bugging me for a while now."

Aster's devouring of his food was stifled by Calix's question. He looked up and saw Calix's face, and for the first time, a look of concern was plastered on his face. Worry started collecting once again in Aster's heart.

What could be bothering Calix so much?

"Do you remember where your mother got that guitar from?"

That's it?

Aster felt relief, but his curiosity was piqued. It was not the first time Calix had started a conversation about his guitar, but he had no idea that it had bothered him so.

"If you're not comfortable talking about it, it's fine."

"Well, I'm not exactly sure which shop she got it from, but I know it's not too far from home. It's one of the last things I got from her before she- yknow…"

The subtlest look of concern emerged on Calix's otherwise inscrutable face. He looked like he was about to stop Aster from continuing, but Aster smiled and resumed speaking.

"Music was her way of showing love. She taught me all I know about guitar"

As the conversation progressed, they both subconsciously stopped eating their food despite how delicious it was.

Calix knows so much about my life now, but I know nothing much about him. I'm sure he'd be fine with me asking, right?

"How about you? Why did your parents make you start learning the piano when you were only three?”

"How did you know?"

"It was your orientation fun fact."

"Oh, right."

Calix shifted slightly in his seat, his eyes darting everywhere but Aster's direction. Aster picked up a tinge of queasiness in his normally stoic expression. It was clear his question had struck a nerve, and Calix was having trouble answering it.

"Um… well…Mother is a professional pianist, so she started teaching me young because she started young too. Something about wanting her son to be a piano prodigy."

‘Mother’? Don't think I've ever heard anyone in real life call their mom that.

Calix's face grew faintly red. It now looked to Aster like he was embarrassed.

"Honestly, being a three year old kid, it took me quite a while to really grasp anything."

Aster chuckled upon hearing what Calix had to say. He had always seen him as infallible, and it was hard to imagine him otherwise. 

"There's nothing shameful about that! Even though it took a while, you've grown to be an amazing musician!"

Almost in an instant, Calix cleared all signs of embarrassment or nervousness from his face, returning it to its default factory setting. The chilly atmosphere that had faded over the duration of their conversation was reinstated, and Aster felt like he was back to square one. Just when Calix started opening up about his life, he clammed right back up. Maybe he just wasn't ready to bloom yet.

"Right, whatever, yeah, let's talk about something else."

Calix's sudden shift in tone and demeanour befuddled Aster. Calix picked up his fork for the first time since they had conversed about their mothers, and returned his focus to his meal.

Did I strike a nerve? I should bring up some other topic so we can move on.

As they ate the rest of their meal in silence, Aster searched his mind for everything that he knew about Calix. The only thing was his original songs, which Aster knew more about than he could let on. Still, any questions on that topic should not be suspicious, considering Calix's course of study. All would be fine as long as he did not speak like he had listened to any of the originals before.

"Have you released any original music yet?"

"Not yet, I've written a couple of songs, but none of them really have that X factor to me. Not yet, at least"

What the heck does he mean? Even though I can't stand him and Lila together, I still can't help but adore the song he wrote about her. His songs are amazing.

"I'm sure you'll find it in time. I think your original music is already pretty good!"

Aster could not help but take the opportunity to compliment Calix, but his instinct had betrayed him. 

What did I just say? Did I just slip up? He's never shown me his original music before. Oh no, please don't pick up on it…

"I think that's still far off."

Calix's voice now had a sceptical tone. Aster was now certain that Calix was surmising something.

"Anyway, how can you be so sure? It's not like you've heard any of my songs before."

Shit.