Taking a deep breath, trying to muster up the remnant of calmness I finally sent a message after spending an hour crafting a response. [Me: Are you mad at me still? I am not trying to avoid you. Although can I take some weeks off work? I am not well, and no I don't want to be questioned about it.]

Three dots appeared and I knew he was typing a response. I turned my phone off, went for a shower and curled up in bed. The uneasiness was unbearable. In my mind there were three routes to go down: 1. call Callum , 2. call Mr Whitecore, 3. do nothing. I felt lost. Something in me was telling me that something is not right. Compelled? Colition? Maybe this year was the year new things I have to discover myself will finally be revealed. 

I called Mr Whitecore and explained that I have been having a mental and emotional hard time. No I wasn't overworking, it was all just automated. 

"AUTOMATED? HOW IS IT STILL PRODUCING BEST QUALITY OF WORK I HAVE EVER SEEN?" yells Mr Whitecore seemingly excitedly. 

"It's my specialty? Anyways I am allowed to go on a break for a while right?" I reply. 

"Well if this automation keeps going, sure. But seriously Sunha please take care of yourself," says Mr Whitecore. 

"I will, don't worry," I reply and then I hang up. Honestly, would it get better or worse? Were there new ones in my head? Did I discover another bit of myself? What is wrong with me? I arrange a meeting with Callum. An emergency one. This feeling was not helpful in me not being so stressed. To think that I had enough with being hunted, with death threats sent to my door, with all the sacrifices I made for my people that I could just relax and not stress so much. But of course that isn't meant to be, is it?