The Clubhouse

Padgen walks in to find nobody inside, except Tamara.

Padgen
Where's everybody else?

Tamara
They went back in to make fries, you should have passed them.

Padgen
...I went to the bathroom, first.

Tamara
Whatever, just don't stare at me like Chad does. Amina might be fine with her little 'bro-fest', but I'm not. I swear, it's like she's trying to... I don't know. Adelaide's always setting me up with Brian... hey, why am I telling you this?

Padgen
(Shrugging.) I've got that aura, I guess. My mom's a therapist. People tell me stuff.

Tamara
Okay, well, don't tell anyone? But I already slept with Amadu. And I like him better as a friend. Once we did that, though, like... ever since, he's just been getting weird with me. And last week with that TV show, it was just... too much. I don't want to stop being friends, but... we're never getting married. I don't want that from him.

Padgen
Would you sleep with him again, if it meant you didn't have to get married?

TamaraUhh... probably. But I don't really want to date him, either. He's not my romantic type, y'know? Some people are more fun just to fool around with.

Padgen
Uh, yeah. Sure. Totally.

Tamara
(Smirking.) You have no idea what I'm talking about. That's okay, Amina will show you. She doesn't just take people home randomly, y'know.

Padgen
Honestly, I don't think that's what she had in mind. She and Sujay seem tight.

Tamara
(Looking at her phone.) Until she gets bored.

Tamara takes a vape pen out of her purse, and holds it up to her mouth. She stops, suddenly.

Tamara
Do you mind?

Padgen
No, go for it. What flavor is it?

Tamara sips air from the pen, and then blows a fat cloud, and coughs.

Padgen
(Squinting, and sniffing.) Ah, yeah. Chocolate marshmallow.

Tamara
(Sparse.) S'more.

An awkward silence.

Padgen
...I think I'm gonna turn on the projector-

Tamara
Don't. The others aren't back yet, you'll heat it up too soon. We already had to replace the lens last month, Adelaide's still pissy about it.

She taps on her phone, and vapes another cloud.

Tamara
Did you think that show was weird? Last week?

Padgen
Core Force Five? What part?

Tamara
The part where it was a direct copy of Amadu's life, and then set up this bombshell version of me to be his supersqueeze.

Padgen
(Nodding.) Yeah, actually. I thought it was weird he had this emotional tension with Claw, and then it resolved with Burst, instead. Seemed like a rush-draft.

Tamara
Exactly, the payoff was wrong. Did you know that Sujay's dad writes for the show?

Padgen
I haven't met him. Do you think...

Tamara
That he's using the show as some kind of personal psyop on Amadu? Yeah, it's looking that way.

Padgen
Maybe Adelaide paid him off?

Tamara
(Laughing.) Or something. They're both divorced. You never know what people get up to.

Tamara eyes Padgen, and Padgen blushes. But then she just goes back to looking at her phone.

Tamara
I wonder where those guys are... maybe I should have asked for a box of condoms.

Padgen
(Red-faced.) Alright...?

Tamara
Have you ever... done anything? Like that? Even a little bit?

Padgen
(Laughing inwardly.) Other than listening to my dorm-mates shake their beds at nine P.M.? No, nothing.

Tamara
(Teasing.) Really? You never... joined in? Or anything?

Padgen
(Genuinely confused.) ((Is she messing with me?))

Tamara puts down her phone, and stares at Padgen. Stares into his eyes. Padgen looks away, flustered, legs pressed together.

Padgen
(Feeling awkward.) N-no, not even once.

Tamara
(Smiling with mischief.) I wonder if Amina would care, if I...

Tamara gets off the chair, walks over to Padgen, and stares down at him. Padgen looks up, and tilts his head.

Padgen
What are you doing?

Tamara
Going off-script.

Tamara sits down in Padgen's lap, and starts breathing in his ear.

Tamara
You don't mind, do you?

Padgen
Uhhh... I guess not?

Tamara grinds in Padgen's lap, and gives him a kiss. Padgen kisses back, and puts his arms around her waist. Just as Tamara slips him tongue, the door bursts open. Sujay and Amina stand in the doorway with grocery bags full of snacks, laughing with one another. Then they look at Padgen and Tamara, and Amina's eyes go white-wide. Sujay looks pretty surprised himself, but more astonished and amused than anything. Tamara's eyes are just as wide as Amina's, and Padgen has his shut tight.

Sujay
(Laughing.) Well, then. I guess maybe we took too long.

Amina
(Visibly upset.) What are you two DOING?! Have you been-

Tamara
(Taunting.) You weren't using him, were you?

Amina
That's cause he's just a FRIEND, but-

Everyone looks at Padgen.

Padgen
(Blushing.) I'm not complaining.

Amina
(Angry.) AND WHY WOULD YOU?!

She hits him in the head with the bag of chips, then tosses a little bucket of ice cream to Tamara, who holds it with some guilt. She's still sitting in Padgen's lap when Amadu walks in. He's smiling to see the food, but then he sees Padgen and Tamara. His eyes go wide, his face numb with shock, and his head shakes over and over.

Amadu
(Panicking.) N-no, no, no, no... no, no, no!!

Padgen
Oh, shit. Dude-

Adelaide
(Livid.) What the HELL are YOU KIDS DOIN' in here?!

Adelaide walks in holding a cigarette, having just seen the two of them. Tamara looks at Adelaide inhaling an entire cigarette in one breath, at Amadu having his panic attack, then at Padgen. She makes a choice.

Tamara
(Sweating.) I, uh...

Tamara kisses Padgen again, then rolls off his lap beside him to lean on his shoulder.

Tamara
I'm with Padgen, actually. I know we we were looking solid, Amadu, but-

Amadu
LOOKING SOLID?! WE JUST-

Adelaide
(Confused.) Just what?!

Padgen
(Thinking fast.) ((Of course... Tamara can't say she and Amadu slept together. It'll only dig her in deeper. If I freak out and act like a victim here, it'll get worse for everyone. Amina seems shocked, but...))

Padgen looks at Amina, who's shaking her head, and holding Sujay.

Padgen
(Sympathetic, but resolute.) ((Well, she might have tried to start some tea when she already had a kettle going. I can't let this friend group implode over some simple drama... otherwise, I'll have nowhere to live this summer.))

Padgen
(Speaking up.) Yeah, I was surprised too. First girlfriend I've ever had, she kind of sprung it on me. Said she likes my, uh... hair.

Tamara gives Padgen a look of examination, searching his eyes and his face.

Tamara
(Whispering.) (Are you trying to screw me over, or-)

Padgen
(Whispering back.) (No, I'm doing the opposite. I'll play along, I could use the, uh... 'experience'.)

Tamara
(Smirking.) (You sure could.)

Adelaide
(Hurt.)

Is this true? What about you and Amadu?

Tamara
(Speaking up.) Amadu's fine, he's got the rizz. He'll pick someone up in no time. Besides, he's gonna be the President some day, isn't that right?

Amadu
(Sobbing quietly.) I'm gonna be... I'm gonna be the president...

Tamara
Well, I was looking to travel when I'm older, anyway. Can't be the first lady from Peru, can I?

She turns to Padgen, and plays with his hair.

Tamara
(Playing intimate.) How does that sound? Peru?

Padgen
(Earnest.) That actually sounds dope.

Adelaide sighs deeply, and chucks her spent cigarette on the sidewalk, then stomps it out. She palms her forehead, with her arms crossed.

Adelaide
(To herself.) And after all I just did... fuck. I'mma have to call Sham.

Padgen and Tamara's eyes light up. They share a look that says: 'I knew it.' Amadu sits down, looking morose.

Padgen
(Empathetic.) You okay, buddy?

Amadu
(Upset.) Don't... worry about it. I'm allowed to be upset, alright? I got my hopes up. I hope you two are happy, though.

Everyone starts to settle down, and take their seats on the couch and chairs.

Sujay
(Sitting down.) That's diplomatic of you.

Amadu
A leader must face change, and at times, adversity. Even in love.

Tamara
(Sigh.) Sorry, man. You're a good guy, you'll find someone.

Amadu
(Smiling faintly.) Yeah... thanks, Tamara. I wish you the best, then.

Padgen
(Smiling back.) You too, man.

The only one in the room who hasn't settled is Amina. She's fuming, arms crossed.

Amina
(Irritated.) Just explain to me how you two can go from sayin' nothing to cuddling up, in minutes flat. Tell me that.

Tamara
(Uncertain.) Uhhh... I like his... hair?

Amina looks unsatisfied with the lack of an answer.

Amina
(Sullen.) Yeah, whatever. Let's just watch a movie or somethin', aight? Get all this love out the room, someone open a window or somethin'.

Suddenly, Chad enters. He sees Tamara clinging to Padgen's arm, and shouts out loud:

Chad
(Incredulous.) Holy SHIT!! HAHA! Are you guys DATING?!

Amina throws her plastic bottled drink at him, furious.

Amina
SHUT UP, CHAD!!