It was reported in the morning newspapers that last night, outside the palace gates, there was a protest. Several rabble-rousers were arrested. No one broke in. No one died. 

 Kesper escorted me away from the bodies. They were gone the next time I saw that part of the palace. I never heard about them again. 

 I never learned any of their names.  

  Sometime after breakfast, there was a knock at my door. 

  "It's your brother, Your Highness," my maid announced.

 Derek had never been to my rooms before. Did he want to talk about last night? Tell me off or check on me? I hoped the Lusilean Ambassador was okay, and Derek hadn't actually murdered him or something. 

 "Hello, Amacia. I came to say goodbye before your long journey." 

 "Hello, Derek. Thank you for coming to see me - it's a pleasant surprise. Come, take a seat." 

  He wasn't wearing his Mage robes, only a plain black shirt and tailored black pants. His hair was pulled back into a low ponytail. He carried his golden staff, though. It felt a bit like a threat.

 He sat at the little table in my sitting room, crossing his long legs over each other. The servants set down a teapot and mugs, and some of the little pastries that always seemed to be at hand. Derek didn't pay them any attention. He looked cold, half-distracted. Like he didn't have the time to pretend he cared about me as a person. I could use this. 

 Last night, what I found out about Ciel, and what she was to him... it gave me a point of light in the darkness of my understanding. I wanted an in on him. To pry him open. Learn about him, where he refused to learn about me. I wanted to understand the danger I was in, instead of lying back and watching the waters close over my head. 

  Speaking of Ciel: she was there too, at his shoulder, unremarkable as a shadow. If she wasn't a bodyguard, what was she doing here? 

  "Such a shame you have to leave so soon - you still have so much to learn." Derek pushed his glasses up his nose with two elegant fingers and leaned forward. 

  I leaned in too, determined. "Such a shame you can't come, too. Guess Crown Princesses have responsibilities regular princes do not." 

  His upper lip twitched. "Don't get me wrong, sister. I do not envy you. Have you been paying attention to what's going on down there? In that God-forsaken hellhole? The land where our father was murdered - I wonder if it is worth the effort to save it." He wasn't even trying to be civil. This was the realest I'd ever seen him and I was pretending hard as ever.

 "I'm only going as far as the border."

 "What of your little pink-haired pet? Her new husband is none too popular among his 'people'." Derek etched little air quotes there. I shuddered. "Two interlopers in a vicious land, bringing the regiment in their wake. Will you send them off with a smile?"

 I wondered. Did they deserve one? 

 "Things are on a knife's edge right now, Amacia. We must avoid another war, or all the bloody work, all the bitter sacrifices of our family over hundreds of years will be undone. Our Royal Mother has made the decision, in her infinite wisdom, to place her faith in you. So now, your one duty is to make the people love you."

  "The Queen chose me. I have no intention of letting her down." 

 "I sincerely hope you are telling the truth, my sister. The world would be a better place if you were a better woman. Now is not the time to be careless. Don't screw this up for us." 

 I lifted my delicate teacup to my lips. Derek was boring into me with his gaze, but he spoke like he was giving a sermon rather than a series of petty jibes. The tea was cold. "Thank you, brother," I said sweetly. "Your well-wishes for my journey have truly touched my heart. To know just how much you care makes me happier than you know." 

 A muscle twitched in Derek's jaw. He stood, raising his staff. Was he about to attack me?

 "A blessing! For my sister, Crown Princess of Alevia! May she be a servant of the Trifold God, and may They serve you in turn. I ask for Their aid in protecting your body and soul from harm, because you are going to need it." Then he tapped me with his staff. 

 Again, nothing happened. 

 Derek stepped back, surveying me. "I want to see you to come back safe and sound."

 The chances of that happening, I thought, are pretty damn low.

 Derek left. 

  My attendants, who'd hung back enough to be respectful, but not enough to not be able to hear everything he'd said, converged on me. "How lucky, that your brother chose to come and bless you! He must know how important this is for you!" I took that to mean he'd never done this before. 

  What had I learned? He wasn't that into keeping up appearances, not like I was. No one expected him to like me.  But he wanted our family to succeed, and he needed me to do that. 

 The servants bustled around me, clearing away the tea, carrying off various items I'd selected to pack. 

  It was only when we were nearly alone that I noticed Ciel. 

  "Jesus!" 

  She blinked. She was still in my room, leaning against the doorframe. 

  "You've been here the whole time?!" 

  Her eyebrow quirked. "Yes. I thought you noticed. I just wanted a moment alone, so I could talk to you."

  "Talk to me?" I felt dumb. She came to stand in front of me, with a serious expression on her face. I readied myself for whatever fresh trial I would have to endure.

  "God, Derek was a dick today, wasn't he?" Ciel said, like this was a casual everyday chat, slinking into my room and perching on the arm of my chair. "He's been pulling his hair out about the progress for weeks - I can't imagine how it's been for you. But I'm not here to apologise for his behaviour. It's not in my job description, and Derek would never expect it to be. That's the thing I admire most about him." 

  I wasn't sure how to react to that. "Then, um, why are you here, Ciel?"

  She looked up at me. "How are you doing? I know it can't be easy, acting like everything's normal after making it through something like last night."

  I didn't know how to answer. I wasn't expecting this. It was a normal, human question, and now I had to give a normal, human response. How traumatised was I supposed to be right now? How many assassination attempts did Amacia get, week-to-week? 

  "Well..." I said carefully. "It's not something you can ever get used to."

  "No," said Ciel. "No, it's not."

  "I'm glad I'm safe. I'm glad that you and Kesper were there to save me." 

  Ciel smiled gently. "We were just doing our jobs, Your Highness." It is my duty. Her brother's words echoed in her own. I felt a pang. Family tradition. Was that truly all there was, in his actions? In his kindness? 

  "Still," I said, sounding more uneven than I had in a while. "Thank you. I forgot to say it last night." 

  "You didn't get much of a chance. In situations like that, it's okay to be a little self-centred." 

  "But Crown Princesses are supposed to be perfect!" I joked.

  "That is just a job. Don't ever forget that. Put yourself first, whenever you need to. Choose the selfish option." 

  "Didn't you hear? I'm always selfish. It's my whole thing."

  "Right. Then you've got this, Your Highness! Good luck." Ciel winked. 

  "Kesper, and you. You put your lives on the line for my sake, in that situation." I spoke softly, and betrayed more than I should have. I was too invested in the conversation. 

  "Good point. I am as loyal as they come. And Kesper... he has reasons, whether I agree with them or not. You, on the other hand, whatever anyone says, owe everyone nothing." That didn't feel true. But she wasn't joking. Her lips pressed together and she fixed on me bluntly. 

  "Why do you care?" I asked.

  "Basic human decency. I thought maybe no-one had told you that before." She sprang up, bowed at me quickly, sharply. "I should go. You look like you're busy." She waved and began to melt into the hallway. 

  "Wait!" I ran after her. "One more thing."

  She looked at me expectantly.

  "The people that attacked me, last night. Do their families know they're dead?"

 Ciel hesitated. "No."

 "Am I friends with Ciel?"

  We were sitting on my bed. Giselle was telling me which dresses Amacia would choose to travel in. Neither of us were all that invested. We both had other things on our minds.

 Giselle pursed her lips in thought. "You were close in childhood. After Amacia came back it wasn't the same. She was on Derek's side by then, and Derek never liked Amacia, so you have barely spoken these past five years."

  "That's funny... she spoke to me like we were."

  Giselle's head snapped up. "What?! What was she saying?"

 "Just something about how it's okay to be selfish. I don't know. It was pretty weird."  

  "Don't fall for it!" She brought her hand to her forehead, slid it back through her hair distractedly. "This must be some ploy of your brother's," she muttered. "Setting that yappy terrier of his on you is just like him. Just - avoid her until we leave."

 I knew better now than to be blindly swayed by a charming girl again. Giselle didn't need to know about what happened last night. In fact, who would it be good for if she knew? Not me. (It was never me.) She didn't have all the truth. I wasn't entirely sure this was all Derek. Ciel had made it clear she was more than just her master. She had to have some kind of an angle. But what?

 I could think about it later. There was a lot to do. I had to finish packing before we left. I was about to journey out into a world I didn't know at all. By this point, the capital felt comfortable, something I knew enough to draw strength from. It set me on edge how much I would need to rely on others to make it through unfamiliar terrain. A map was only a map. 

  Who knew if I would even come back? It might be the real Amacia riding in through the palace gates in a month's time. 

 I was almost done packing, ready to embark. 

  I had slipped the dagger into a holder I'd fashioned under my sleeve. No one would see it. The element of surprise was really all I had. 

  My parchment, now cramped with writing, I had rolled up small and tucked into my personal reticule. Even if we weren't following the story, it was still handy. Now there were no more incriminating items left around my room. 

  I needed more paper, if I wanted to keep my story straight. I rummaged around the vanity drawer I had originally found the blank parchment in, the day I woke up as Amacia, right here at this desk. Then I noticed something I never noticed before: a crack at the bottom of the drawer. I felt around it with my fingers, and it shifted. It pried right off. A false bottom.

  Discretely, I peered inside. A small, dark leather cover sat inside, all alone. I picked it up. It was battered, slightly dingy. Not exactly fit for a princess. Inside were sheafs of parchment, covered with small, neat handwriting. About to leaf through them, I got stuck on the front page. The words I was reading weren't the kind you could look away from.

 I went numb. 

 I didn't want to understand the words I was reading, but I did. They made perfect sense. Everything did, now.

 My trembling hands crushed the papers, then stuffed them in my reticule. My heart beat staccato in my head. My vision bloomed and reddened. 

 I would forget I read that. 

 "What are you up to?" Giselle asked, bored. 

 I didn't turn my head towards her. I didn't want her to see whatever expression I had on my face. "Just getting more paper." 

 What good would the truth do any of us?

 Right now, I had to focus on my journey. I was about to step into the crowds, thronging and longing to see me off. I walked along the winding corridors and down the steps from my rooms into the antechamber before the Entrance Hall, trying to focus only on putting one foot in front of the other. 

 How good a job I'd done of that, I didn't know. I was sweating by the time I got to the bottom. My collar felt itchy, my face flushed. 

 Giselle's eyes nakedly tracked me as I came towards the gathering of people ready to send us off. She was dressed very practical, in a brown skirt and fitted jacket, still with her signature puffed sleeves. 

 Ewen, by her side, flicked his gaze to me, then he turned his whole head away. Staring at the vaulted ceiling, he gripped Giselle's hand. This is going to a miserable journey for him, I thought. It might be miserable for me, too. Giselle used her free hand to flutter a wave at me. 

 Derek was conversing with the Queen. His brow furrowed, and the Queen stood immovable, regal, golden hair glowing around her face like a halo. Derek raised his voice, so that I could almost catch what he was saying, then caught himself. He turned to see me, upper lip curling up. 

 The Queen began to glide towards me. Derek hung back. She smiled, and extended her elegant arms in a terrifyingly motherly gesture. She closed in on me, wrapping those arms around me. She smelled wonderful, like fresh linen and sunshine, and my heartrate began to speed. I felt like a rabbit, in the hands of a human.

 The Queen pulled back, and spoke to me. "Last night. I should reprimand you for straying outside, but I am only glad that you are safe."

 "Thank you, Royal Mother. I won't make that mistake again." 

 "I hope you thanked your bodyguard, the Wyle boy, also. Standing alone against so many people, insignificant though they may be. I remember his father, how loyal he was, to the last. It seems his son is just as worthy to stand beside our family." 

 "He really is," I agreed. 

 "And you, how you have grown these past few months. Choosing to have Giselle marry Duke Ewen instead of you, against my wishes. I know now it was the right decision to make. I'm proud of you for letting her go. You were always too good to let that nobody hold you back." 

 She placed both of her white hands on my shoulders. This outflow of parental love set me off kilter. She was so close, so familiar, I didn't know where to look. This was wrong. 

 "I know that you are ready. My daughter. You are headstrong, and impetuous. You know what the world owes you. You are everything I wanted you to be. All my hopes rest within you. Together we will bring the South into the bosom of Alevia, and Lusile will come after. God loves us, my child, and you are my proof." Then she kissed my forehead. I wanted to shy away, but I didn't. My mother was proud of me. 

 Happy 10th upload! Here's a sketch :)

Kesper and Ciel meeting Amacia for the first time