Becca

“Becca—” he starts, but I cut him off.

“What am I supposed to do with this, Shane? What does it even mean?”

“It means nothing. It changes nothing—”

“You’re getting engaged. Of course it changes everything.”

“No. It doesn’t.” His voice cracks. “Because it’s not real. None of it is real.”

“Then what?” My voice sharpens. “I’m supposed to just what, Shane? Do we break up? Do I wait for you? Are you asking me to be okay with sneaking around while I have to stomach you playing the perfect fiancée to her? What exactly are you asking me to do here?”

“You and me, Becca—we’re what I want. You’re the only future I’ll ever choose. I’m only doing this to buy us time, baby. Four years to figure out a way to tear this charade down. Four years for me to secure a future we can both live with.” 

He’s rambling. Desperate. 

When his voice catches, he stops. 

Through the line, I hear him swallow hard. He takes a breath that sounds like it’s tearing him apart, then says— 

“So when I get down on one knee, in our tiny kitchen, and ask you to marry me, you’ll know—without a shadow of a doubt—that I fought for you. For us. For our future. You and I, Becca… we’re meant to be.” 

The desperation in his voice cracks something open inside me. 

The sob I’ve been fighting back finally rips free. 

My next words barely make it past my pain. “Just tell me this wasn’t all a lie. That I’m not just some girl to pass the time with until you marry the one your parents picked for you.”

The tears spill hot and silent down my cheeks, my body folding in on itself like something hollowed out. Like the bottom just dropped out, and there’s nothing left to hold me up.

I should’ve known better. I always should’ve known better. Good things like this—like Shane—don’t happen to a girl like me.

“Becca.” He says my name. Soft. Wrecked. Like it physically pains him to speak it.

But I don’t respond.

I can’t.

Between the tears and heaving sobs, I just… can’t.

“Please, pretty girl. Don’t shut down. Don’t walk away from us without hearing me out. Without trying to understand that I’m doing this for you. For us. Because I love you.”

I close my eyes, but the tears don’t stop. My lips are parted, but no words come out.

I want to scream. 

I want to hang up. 

I want him to take it all back. 

I want him to be here. 

To hold me. 

To kiss me until I’m breathless—until this nightmare goes away.

But he’s not here. And I don’t have the strength to end the call. So I sit there. Still. Trembling. Barely breathing. While the Christmas lights blink softly all around me, like they’re mocking me.

“I didn’t choose this, Becca,” he says, his voice firmer now, but still fractured. “They gave me an ultimatum. If I don’t propose tomorrow, they will move the wedding up to June. Six months from now. They’ll push us apart. Make it impossible for me to see you. Impossible to be with you.”

I flinch.

The word wedding punches the air from my lungs. It makes it real. Too real.

“I have no choice,” he continues. “I’m doing this, so I don’t lose you. So we have time to figure a way out.”

The ache behind my ribs shifts. The betrayal is still there—sharp and disorienting—but as I listen to him unravel, it’s now tangled with something else.

Something softer.

Something warmer.

Something I don’t want to feel.

But I do.

I hear it in his voice. The quiet devastation. The raw ache in every word. A man barely hanging on.

“I didn’t want to tell you like this,” he admits. “I wanted to come over. Hold you. Look you in the eye and explain everything. But my parents… they’ve locked me down. Told me I was not to go anywhere until it’s done.”

I press a hand to my chest.

It physically hurts. The pressure. The grief. The war inside me.

“It’s killing me too, Becca?” he says, his voice breaking now. “I’d give anything for this to not be my reality. To just say screw them and run away to be with you. But running… It’s not the answer. I have to protect you. I have to protect us. Our future. And this is the only way I can see to do that.”

My chin trembles. My arms wrap tight around my body like I’m trying to hold all the shattered pieces of myself together as my legs give out and I sink to the floor.

He sounds wrecked. Like he’s drowning and begging me to throw him a rope.

And I hate it.

I hate how much I want to reach for him. To ease his pain. Even though I’m the one left on the outside. The one who’ll have to watch him pretend to love someone else. Even if it isn’t real, it doesn’t hurt any less.

When I finally speak, my voice doesn’t sound like mine. It’s too soft. Too broken. Stripped down to the bruised pieces of what’s left of my heart.

“This might break us, Shane.”

He doesn’t hesitate. Not for a second.

“Then I’ll spend the rest of my life putting us back together. Piece by fragile fucking piece. Until you believe in us again. Until we’re whole.”

I let out a shaky breath, one hand dragging through my hair as I stare blankly at the Christmas lights blinking like my world hasn’t just crashed and burned at my feet.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” I whisper.

“You can. We can, pretty girl. We have each other. We have Nick. Your friends. They’ll all know the truth. We won’t have to do it alone.” 

And that’s what finally does me in.

I crumble.

“I love you, Becca.” His breath hitches. “I’d burn all of this to the ground. Walk away from my family tonight and come home to you, if you asked me to. Just say the word. But if there’s even the smallest part of you that understands why I have to do this. Why it’s the best way to keep you safe, to protect what we have. Then tell me you’ll hang on. That even when it gets harder, you’ll still be there, fighting for us. Fighting with me.”

I press a hand to my mouth as the tears come again—new ones. Messy. Honest. Not just from pain, but from love. From the way he’s still fighting for us, even as everything is falling apart. From the way he’s giving me something I’ve never had before—a choice. A voice. The chance to be a part of this impossible decision.

“I… I’m scared, Shane,” I whisper. “Really, really scared. But if you truly believe this is the only way, then I’ll… I’ll support you.”

He exhales like he’s been trapped underwater and just finally broke through the surface.

“Pretty girl. Christ. Thank you.” His voice fractures. “I won’t let you down. Just… promise me something.” 

“What is it?”

“Promise me you’ll wait for me. That you’ll hang on. That when this is over… you’ll still be there.”

What he’s asking shouldn’t be hard. But it is. Because trust like that—faith like that—has never come easy for me. Not when every good thing I’ve ever had was either taken or torn away. Not when everyone I’ve ever trusted has lied or betrayed me in some way.

But I love him. And I want the messy little dream of a life he whispered into my thoughts. The life he imagined for us—imperfect, and beautifully ours.

So for the first time in my life, I close my eyes… and jump.

“I promise,” I breathe. “I want to be with you, Shane. I want our life.” The ache in my chest doesn’t vanish. But it settles. “But how is this going to work?”

“We’ll find a way,” he says, his voice more certain now. “I’m not going anywhere. We’ll have to be careful, but I still want to see you. Every day, if I can. If you’ll have me, I still want us to keep moving our relationship forward. I just need time to put an end to my parents’ plans.”

My gaze drifts to the little tree in the corner. His gift to me. What I thought might mark the beginning of something real. And after everything tonight, I realize that’s exactly what it is. That tree isn’t just a decoration. It’s a symbol. Of us. Of everything we want—everything we’re willing to fight for. 

So I breathe in. Then out.

And when I speak again, my voice isn’t broken anymore.

“Okay.” 

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