A math exam was announced right at the end of class, and groans filled the classroom. After a whole day of school, we were all too tired to hear of such bad news. In a little less than a week, we’d have that damn exam. 

Diligently, I wrote down all the topics the teacher mentioned so I knew exactly what to study, and as I packed my books into my bag, followed by my pencil case and all the other random stuff I had, I felt a slight tug at my shirt’s sleeve, making my heart race all the higher. 

I jerked, twisted towards him, his big, brown eyes looking me up and down. Ever since that incident in the gym hall, I could barely even look at him without my face turning bright red, still confused about what his words meant, and why he’d said them in the first place. 

“Can we study together?” Oliver asked me. How he softened his voice whenever he asked me something melted my heart. A low, deep hum that would continue vibrating inside of me, never letting my heart recover. 

“S-Sure, Oliver, yeah. When do you want to—“ 

“Finn! Finn, you’ve got to help me, man!” Matt came rushing through the room, announcing himself to the whole class. With his hands clutched together in a prayer, he pouted right at me. “Help me with math! Please, please, please? I’ll sponsor snacks, and—and your favorite soda! And pizza, yeah?”

I was rather helpless, now. Oliver stood behind me, inching ever closer, his eyes burning holes through me. And here I had Matt begging and begging for me to help him study.

Matt was my best friend, and Oliver was … hell, I didn’t even know. He was something that grew more important every day, past the few, sporadic conversations we had, with our eyes talking more than our mouths ever could. Maybe it was all my imagination, but I couldn’t say no to either of them. 

“Sure, we can all study together, right?” With caution, I answered, gazing between the two. I noticed Oliver’s stare, and his fingers tightening around his backpack’s strap as it dangled off one shoulder only. His lips pressed against one another.

“Is—Is that okay with you?” I asked him, but all he did was nod. 

“Yeah, okay.” 

And Matt seemed okay with it, too, though rather surprised I invited Oliver at all. 

But that wasn’t the problem. 

I never expected our study group to escalate so quickly when Matt invited Sophie, too, and Sophie invited her friends, and so on, until our study group turned out to be almost half the class wishing to be taught by me. 

As we met in the classroom as promised, I could barely believe my own eyes, and Oliver, who’d politely followed me, stared at the tables our group had pushed together into one big circle we could all sit at, but he had nothing to say. 

A study group of twelve … It was a bit intense, even for me. But snacks and drinks were laid out atop the tables, calling me like the devil they were. I approached my friends with a smile, and told Oliver to sit beside me, which he did. 

But there was some kind of mood oozing off his tense shoulders beside me, and the way he exhaled through his nose in a loud, almost angered sigh, that worried me. 

“Let’s get started, then,” I mumbled, but I could barely concentrate. Oliver slid closer towards me with every chance he got. 

He slouched his head lower, staring at my notes instead of writing his own, but I never got to ask him whether he had any questions, or to explain him something specifically. Every other moment, everyone else asked me, and so, my attention shifted to the entire study group, and barely to Oliver at all.

At some point, I completely lost myself in the math and the preparations for our exam, and only when we took a short break from learning to cool our heads with drinks did I notice Oliver’s disappearance beside me. 

How could I not notice, I wondered, such a giant disappearing from the seat next to me? 

How did he slip out without me ever even realizing?

“Uh … Where is Oliver? Did anyone see him?” I asked into the group, but everyone’s shoulder’s twitched upwards, as clueless and careless they were about Oliver, and I was left wondering all by myself.

My messages received no answers, and my disappointment grew. He’d wanted to study, and now, he disappeared?

“Actually, guys, I … have to go,” I mumbled, snatching my bag off the chair and before anyone, especially Matt, could protest, I rushed out of the room and down the school’s stairway, with only one direction in mind Oliver could have slipped away to. 

The library’s silence was actually rather calming, after having been constantly talked to by so many classmates. With all that math mushing my brain, it pleased me, the silence of the books, only disrupted every once in a while by a few chirping and coin noises, like those you’d hear from a phone game. 

And there he was, too tall for the couch he laid on, his lower legs dangling off of it. His phone held above his head, he tipped vigorously onto his screen as he played a game. His backpack had been carelessly thrown onto the ground, and I gulped as I approached. 

“So you ignore my messages for that game, huh?” I tried myself at a chuckle, but Oliver didn’t react. His eyes, sure, jerked towards me in the split of a second, but right after, he went back to tapping his thumbs onto his phone’s already cracked screen.

“What are you playing?” I approached with slow steps, wood creaking beneath the ugly carpet, giving me flashbacks from our first discussion in here. Only weeks had passed since then, but so much had changed between Oliver and I, and I was just as confused as I had been before. 

“Just some game,” Oliver buzzed. With his tall body taking up all the space, there wasn’t anywhere nearby for me to sit. Sure, I could have sat on that armchair next to it, but it’d be too far away to have a proper conversation. 

Instead, I found myself standing there before him, awkward and helpless, as I looked down at him, half his face covered by his old phone. 

Multiple times did his eyes acknowledge me, but he didn’t say anything. 

“Why did you leave?” I asked, nudging his arm. I could hear the pained grunts of his game character, and the screen flashed, brightening his face. “I thought you wanted to study.” 

“I wasn’t feeling it.” In a grumble, he restarted his game, but it all felt like a farce in an attempt to avoid actually looking at me, and talking to me. 

In a sudden surge of my confusion, I snatched his phone away from him, which brought him up into a seated position. 

“What the hell? Give it back.” But he didn’t even try to reach for it; all he did was look up at me. 

“Tell me what’s wrong first. You’ve been in a bad mood since we entered the classroom to study.” 

Oliver clicked his tongue. “It just wasn’t what I was expecting.” 

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not my thing, studying like that. I couldn’t focus. I’ll just study by myself.” 

He didn’t want to be in that study group? But I had asked him, hadn’t I, if he was okay with it?

Well, in his defense … when I’d asked, only Matt and Sophie had been in the picture. For it to escalate into such a big group hadn’t been part of my plan. 

“Are you sure?” I asked, chewing on the inside of my cheek.

“It’s whatever. Just leave me alone.” 

“But I thought … Didn’t you want my help?” I was digging my own grave, now. 

“Tsk.” Oliver reached for his backpack, swung it around his shoulder, and in one motion too quick for me to even react, he snatched his phone out of my fingers. His eyes glued to me for a short moment. 

“You’re so smart, and you still don’t get it.” he buzzed. “How are you this dense?”

“W-What do you mean?” But I knew, didn’t I? Why else did my head turn into a hot fuzz when he said that, looking at me with such disappointed eyes? 

“I’m going home.” 

“Oliver—“ 

I wished he’d explain, and I wished he didn’t. My mind was thrown into a jumble, and it would only get worse from here.