My eyes feel shot, red and itchy as I dab at the corners with a tissue. These dreams have been too much lately. WIth all the confusion surrounding Ryker and how Darren was in my dreams, it's no wonder I'm confused. But for whatever reason, Ryker is always there. He is the alpha that I feel connected to in my dreams. If Darren knew of these feelings, I'd surely be in trouble.

He isn't a bad alpha though. He took care of me when I was sick before prom in high school. He was caring and a cop with the force. Being a law abiding man, Darren was a good alpha. And yet, when I think back to the dreams as of late, I can't quite say that aloud. My mouth opens to try to do so, but the words are stuck like glue in the back. I am unable to say it aloud.

The clock in the room reads 7am but it is dark outside, as though there may be a thunderstorm this morning. Looking at my phone, I see the date. January 5th, it's almost my birthday. Maybe Darren will surprise me with the one thing I've hinted at for a long time; a proposal.

But that is wishful thinking. It's not as though I can force him to propose. If he loves me as he clearly does, then it'll happen one day… soon… 

As I'm sitting on the bed, my alpha mate comes in as if on cue. 

"Good morning. It looks dreary outside," I say. But he grunts and looks at the phone in my hands. Darren reaches for it before looking at the locked screen.

"Were you texting someone?" he asks with a gruff tone. But I shake my head and clench the tissue tight in my hand. I feel apprehensive. Why though?

"No, I was just checking the time." My answer is correct, there was nothing wrong with it. But the corner of Darren's mouth raises as he make a 'tsk' sound. 

"That's what a clock is for. If I catch you texting someone. I just… I love you too much to share you, Evan." he said sternly. There is a firmness to his voice that has me shrinking. Darren loves me, I should feel content to hear those words.

"I know you do. I promise I won't." 

This answer placates him and I visibly relax. He waits for a moment before turning silently and walking into the bathroom. The door closes with a loud and quick sound and I jump. It was abrupt, that's all. The sound of the water turning on means I have time. Maybe I should cook dinner now. Darren does like to eat on time, but if I start now I could be early enough to read a bit.

My eyes scan over to the book that has appeared on the kitchen table. The title is blurred from my vision as I am suddenly in the kitchen. This feels dreamlike. How could my eyes feel heavy now? I need to make dinner.

…

There is a floral scent under his nose. Evan looked down to see a bouquet of white hyacinth, begonia, and yellow roses. The stems of the bouquet are wrapped beautifully and tightly together as though it were something to hold. Lifting his gaze, the omega looked around to see stained glass windows. The walls were lightly painted around the glass and the molding was beautiful. There was organ music but it was different than the last time he could recall organ music.

Before, it had been light and cheerful, unlike now that elicited a strong feeling of dread in the elegant attempt of a march down the aisle. Oh shit, was he about to get married? When had Darren asked?

Ryker would step out from the shadows of the room, a corner that shouldn't have been dark with the amount of light streaming through the coloured glass. He had an expression on his face that was light and attempted to convey sympathy as well as happiness. It didn't reach his eyes. The other alpha sported a black tux with a green bowtie. 

"Are you ready?" he asked. Evan looked down to see he was in a wedding dress. From what he could vaguely recall, Darren had wanted him to wear a wedding dress. They had discussed it once, far in the long gone days of high school. Evan had said he'd prefer a tuxedo himself. While he understood the sentiment of a dress and being an omega, he'd never wanted to place himself in a position where he looked lesser than Darren. Being an omega didn't mean he was the weaker of the couple.

"Yes, it's my wedding day," Evan's words tremble at the beginning. There is a resolution toward the end though as he looks at the doors that separate him from the march down the aisle. There is a long pause as the organ music starts up. Ryker steps up beside Evan and pats his arm.

"You are allowed to be nervous. A wedding is a momentous occasion." But even though Evan knew Ryker's words were meant to console him, it had zero effect. Instead, the doors opened as Evan started to speak.

He saw Darren looking at Ryker. This was the first true encounter between the two of them. If Darren knew how comforting Ryker's presence was to his omega, there would surely be bloodshed at this wedding. But Evan knew better. He wouldn't allow someone else, someone he was starting to care for, be injured by Darren. Why was that so strong in his mind? This level of protective devotion to Ryker was confusing.

The music built in volume and they began to walk.

"What are you doing Ryker? Where is my dad?" he asked. The other alpha shook his head.

"It's okay Evan. I'm here for you."

The sudden shifting of the field of view made the omega feel sick. As if the floor had sped up and he was picked up and placed at the altar. Darren glared at Ryker who looked unphased. Ryker would let go of Evan's arm and the omega watched him sit. Darren would stand there, tapping his foot as Evan continued to watch Ryker, moments after sitting. His alpha would snatch his arm and pull him toward the minister.

"Eyes on me, Evan," he said harshly, the coolness of the words stinging in his heart. As the minister proceeded to the vows, Darren's sounding crass and jumbled, Evan looked around him with clear confusion. Why couldn't he hear the love in his alpha's voice? Where was the audience of people who were bound to celebrate this joyous moment?

Why was Ryker the only one there?

"... do you, Evan Draper, taken Darren to be your husband?"

Silence.

Evan turned to Ryker and his chin was caught between Darren's hands and forcefully directed back to his alpha. Darren was getting irate with the wandering gazes. 

But there was nothing he could do as he trembled under the hold. This was wrong and he knew it. Darren wasn't here, he was in the shower right now. Who was standing opposite him at the altar then?

When Evan looked back at Ryker, he was suddenly gone. A panic rose in his chest as he was gently guided to look behind himself. Ryker stood there at the altar now and both the minister and Darren were gone. The entire church faded and he stepped closer to Ryker.

"Please, tell me what's going on? Why are you here? Why do I need your help?" Evan asked desperately. The sound of bells ringing were loud and tuned out Ryker as he began to shout. There was such a commotion of overwhelming sounds and visuals in front of him now that Evan dropped his bouquet and covered his ears, eyes clenching shut. No, this was too much!

'I can't marry him!'

The voice is tiny. But it's strong.There is no doubt that Darren is a good alpha. Hardwired into his head like a subliminal message. Evan looks up as the complete silence becomes far more deafening than the sound from before. With wide eyes, Evan looks at Ryker with tears pouring down his face.

"Help me," his voice is feeble.

"You're trapped Evan! You need to wake up!" Ryker's words make sense. But there is something that causes the alpha to look over his shoulder. But when Evan looks over it, there is nothing.

"How? I can't wake up Ryker." Evan whines. But Ryker is being pulled away from him, as though gravity were pulling them apart.

"I'll find you againn, Evan. I promise you. I will save you." 

And then he's gone. Evan is left in the bright void of nothingness. He falls to his knees and sobs, "I can't marry him."

…

 The food is burning and I can smell it. The sound of the water is still running. Darren is still in the shower. There is a wetness on my cheeks. I've been crying as my already reddened and itchy eyes worsen. Shit, if Darren sees me crying…

I turn off the element on the stove and quickly dispose of my burnt dinner. I can make something simpler and quick before time runs out. 

As I hurry to finish, I have to remind myself that these daydreams aren't real. Ryker isn't real. He will never be real. And yet, the clock chimes seven times as I plate the food. The pasta is cooked perfectly and the sauce is stewing on the stovetop.

"Smells good in here," Darren's words come from the doorway. As I turn to face him, I try my best to smile. The words from my dream are echoing across my mind.

'I can't marry him!'

Darren moves into the small room and sits at the table, looking at me expectantly before the plate is placed in front of him. He is my alpha. He is a good man.