Shihwan stared at the closed door, the sinking feeling refusing to go away.

Something didn’t feel right.

He hadn’t wanted Insu to leave. He certainly hadn’t wanted him to leave with that man.

He frowned.

He didn’t understand it. Why was he feeling this way?

While Shihwan had never met any of Insu’s girlfriends, he knew when Insu had gone off to meet one of them. He was a creature of habit, so any time Insu was unable to meet, Shihwan had known. But during those times, he had never felt anything beyond mere curiosity.

Insu was such a private person, and thus, he was curious as to what type of girl Insu was interested in. Though he did often find himself wondering why Insu had never introduced him.

Unless…

Shihwan froze, his head turning to look at the slumbering form on the table before him.

Unless he was interested in men.

Which was a possibility. After all, if Shihwan could change his attractions, Insu certainly could as well and with his looks, he would have no trouble attracting any type of person: young, old, men, women, alien… 

Thinking back on Hajoon… assholes too.

He turned back to look at the closed door once more.

He suddenly understood this feeling a little more.

Hajoon sunbae had said that he was trying to hit on Insu. At first, Shihwan had thought he was joking, but something had not felt right about the whole exchange.

Now he knew there was a good chance that he had been serious.

Shihwan stood, then stopped.

He wanted to run after them.

But then what? He didn’t have the right to stop them. He didn’t even know why he wanted to stop them.

The sunbae wasn’t a bad person. Shihwan had even found himself joking a bit with the man during dinner, and Hajoon had even offered to pay for the entire meal. But Shihwan still felt on guard, as though he knew that the sunbae was not someone he should allow to encroach on his territory.

He froze.

His territory?

Shihwan shook his head. What was wrong with him? Insu was not his.

But then why… why did he feel like the man was going to take Insu away from him? 

If he thought about it objectively, Hajoon was a catch. He was friendly, if a little strange. He was kind… he supposed, having not only paid for their dinner but had ensured that everyone had their food first. He was polite and charming. His looks too were nothing to be laughed at. Shihwan even recalled Boram vaguely mentioning that Hajoon was on his way to being an up-and-coming actor.

It wasn’t jealousy of the type of man he was. Shihwan had no real interest in acting, and he had never been prone to that emotion in the first place.

So then why?

Boram raised his head and slowly opened his eyes. When his gaze met Shihwan’s, he smiled then slowly blinked.

“Where is everyone?” he asked, his words slightly slurred.

Shihwan smiled back at him. Really, he should have been grateful. After all, the sunbae had even given him the opportunity to be alone with Boram.

If only that hadn’t come at the expense of Insu walking home alone with him.

“Let’s go home, hyung,” Shihwan said as he stood, pulling Boram to his feet.

Boram leaned into him and closed his eyes.

“Can you walk?” Shihwan asked as they made their way out of the restaurant, thanking the staff as they did so.

When Boram shook his head, Shihwan led him under the umbrella of a nearby convenience store and crouched down before him. “Get on my back. I’ll carry you home.”

Without hesitation, Boram wrapped his arms around Shihwan’s neck and legs around his waist. Shihwan stood and began to head toward Boram’s family home.

They walked in silence, and Shihwan’s mind began to stray back toward Insu, wondering if the sunbae had escorted him home safely.

Then his shoulders briefly tensed up as he thought that Insu and the sunbae might still be together.

He felt Boram shift slightly behind him.

“We can see the stars tonight,” Boram said, staring up at the sky.

Silently thanking him for interrupting his thoughts, Shihwan also looked up. And sure enough, he could see a smattering of stars in the sky. It was unusual since their university was in the city.

“Hey,” Boram said softly after another minute of silence.

“Hmm?”

“How long do you think a person can survive in a barren relationship?”

“What?” Shihwan asked, surprised by the question that had come out of nowhere.

“I mean, do you think we’re strong enough to last long in such a relationship?”

Flustered, Shihwan frowned, trying to think of an answer. “I don’t—” he began to say.

“There’s a bench there,” pointed out Boram. “Can we sit for a bit?”

Nodding, Shihwan led them to a small, empty park and set Boram down.

Boram thanked him, then turned his gaze back up to the sky. There was a wistfulness in his expression, and Shihwan found himself staring, feeling as though he had seen that look before on someone else.

“It’s probably not a good idea,” Boram continued, still staring at the night sky. “To be in a relationship where the other person doesn’t even regard you as more than a body to warm their bed, right?”

A body to warm their bed?

Shihwan stared at Boram. Was Boram talking about himself?

“Are you…” Shihwan began, trying to think of what to say that didn’t seem too invasive. But when he could not think of anything, he found himself getting impatient. “Are you with someone like that?”

Boram looked at him, then gave him a small smile. That was all the confirmation Shihwan needed.

“No,” said Shihwan, kneeling in front of Boram and meeting his eyes. “It’s not a good idea to be with someone like that. I don’t know if you’re asking me for advice, but you don’t deserve that. Nobody deserves that.”

Boram met his eyes for a long moment before giving him a tiny smile. But Shihwan noticed that it did not meet his eyes.

Dammit, his heart hurt. Not because Boram was clearly in love with someone else, but rather because that relationship was hurting him.

“Thanks, Shihwan,” he replied, that small smile still on his face, but this time a touch of it had reached his eyes. “You’re right, the guy’s a jerk. I wish I could have fallen for someone like you instead. You’re honestly much better, you wouldn’t hurt someone like this.”

Shihwan stilled.

Boram was seeing a guy? Did this mean that he had a chance? If Boram saw him in such a positive light, then maybe—

Boram turned his eyes to the sky once again. “Maybe it’s time I end it.”

Shihwan gazed at his face. There was an obvious sadness there, but also some resignation.

He hated that he felt happy at the fact that Boram was thinking of ending his relationship. Then internally shook his head.

No, it was hurting Boram. He had no reason to feel guilty. He could treat him better; he would treat him better. He’d make sure that Boram never had this look on his face.

“Ah,” said Boram, standing suddenly, nearly knocking Shihwan to the grass. “I feel refreshed!”

He looked down at Shihwan and smiled. And, this time, the smile completely reached his eyes.

“Thanks, Shihwan, I feel better now.”

Shihwan smiled back, standing to join him. “Anytime.”

But as they started walking, Shihwan glanced over his shoulder, back toward the direction of the restaurant, back toward where he had last seen Insu walking.

His steps briefly faltered. He didn't know why he was thinking about Insu now, and why it felt like they were drifting further and further apart.

.