I never learned what happened to the omega that fell, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop wondering what happened to him. It bothered me. It sickened me… If only I knew what happened, maybe I could stop thinking about it. And I thought about it often. In the next few weeks, I saw his fall even in my dreams… Or nightmares… In many of those nightmares, the street turned into a river of blood and the man followed me, his head split open, asking me if it was worth it… Asking me to save his life… Begging for my help…

I always ran away… And then, I always woke up in sweat, crying…

I couldn’t hide that from Alex. He’d tried to talk to me and ask me why I was suddenly having such horrific nightmares. I’d told him I saw a man take a nasty fall… It was true… I just… I just left out the part that he fell because of me… He’d seemed to believe me, but of course he was still worried. If only I could stop the nightmares… I didn’t want him to worry about me.

And I wanted to stop seeing that omega…

Those two weeks were busy for me. I helped Lorenzo two times a week, then spent my weekends helping Zach. I… I was getting better at… stealing… I was getting better at driving, too. Driving around was fun, but… Every time I reached for a bag… I felt this horrible knot in my stomach…

And I saw him…

Every time, I wanted to pull my hand back and let them keep their purses… I never did, because I still wanted to save this country. I was there to be a hero, not a coward. I just… I tried to be more careful. I tried to choose targets who weren’t holding onto their bags too tightly, but at times I left them stumbling. Some even fell, but they all got back up. But… Those seconds before they got back up… My heart froze every time…

And it didn’t get any better. Even after four long evenings, it didn’t get any better.

It was Tuesday… I’d promised to go see Zach that night. I tried to keep my mind busy as I waited for sunset, but I was still getting uneasy. I was feeling a little sick… What if something bad happened today…?

“So… I’m guessing you’re going out again,” Alex spoke quietly.

We were sitting outside the grocery store. I’d been busy staring at a group of kids playing soccer in the parking lot in front of us, so I hadn’t realized my brother was watching me closely over his drawing.

“To help Lorenzo, yeah,” I said. “We need more money.”

He moved his jaw back and forth for a moment, hesitating. He had this odd look in his eyes, like he was looking at me in a whole new light. A light he didn’t like.

“What?” I asked.

“We have enough money for a week,” he noted. “You don’t have to go this time.”

“We can put it into our savings,” I said with a shrug and turned away from him.

I didn’t like the way he looked at me…

“Then why do you act like helping him is the last thing you want to do?”

“What?” I asked, turning back to him, acting like he was crazy. “You’ve met Lorenzo! He’s a cool dude. Of course I like to help him.”

“Then why are you being so weird? Like something really bad is happening?” Alex asked in confusion. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing is going on,” I said calmly. “I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He stared at me a moment longer, then sighed and turned back to his drawing. “Okay.”

“Hey… I just feel bad for having to leave you alone again,” I told him, trying to smile.

He nodded at me, but… He didn’t believe me. I feared I would only make things worse if I tried to start making excuses. I just had to act like I had no idea what he was talking about. And I had to learn to be better at acting. I couldn’t let him see how nervous these gigs with Zach were making me feel.

And thinking about tonight’s gig immediately made me nervous again…

I… I kind of wished… that I actually was going to help Lorenzo tonight… Not only was it much safer to just deliver stuff for the pizza man, but he also paid me for my hard work. Zach never gave me a penny… I of course understood it, because True Order needed all the money we could get our hands on, but if I’d get even a few bucks, I could tell Alex I spent my time begging for money. It would be so much easier to explain to him why I kept leaving him alone almost every night if I had something to bring back to him…

But it was whatever… I’d just have to be more careful and remember all the lies I’d told him.

Which didn’t really make me feel any better about myself…

Then it was time for me to go. I left Alex in our hut after making sure he would be all right. He gave me silent looks the entire time I made myself ready to leave, but he didn’t say anything. I tried to pretend everything was fine, but he could see right through me.

I wished I could tell him what was really going on… I wished I could tell him about my… my mistake… I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. Zach just dismissed it, and he was the only person who I could talk to. When I left the grocery store and headed to Zach’s place… I felt like I was completely alone again. I just… I wished I had someone I could turn to… Someone I could trust and talk to about anything…

But this world had taken everyone from me, and brainwashed the rest…

I was completely alone.

The night went on the same as always. I followed Zach through the streets and grabbed a bag whenever there was an opportunity. If I wasn’t completely wrong, I didn’t feel as sick anymore when I grabbed my first bag. The second one was even easier to steal. Maybe… Maybe I was finally getting over what happened the first time. I really hoped so, because I wanted to help. I wanted to support True Order the best I could.

And I wanted to feel excited about it again. I wanted to save this country so Alex and I could finally have good, normal lives, but that one fall had ruined the excitement for me. It made me almost resent this whole thing…

I tried to be excited, but on top of the fall still bothering me, the streets were much, much emptier now as well. It was Tuesday, after all. I was a little surprised we were even trying, to be honest, but we already had four bags collected, so at least we hadn’t wasted our time.

Yet.

After we dropped off our second set of bags, it took us almost an hour before Zach was able to snatch another one. It was even more difficult for me to get a third one. Maybe fifteen minutes later, I finally spotted someone just loitering around, staring at their phone at the side of the street. A younger woman. I drove close enough, reached for the bag, and grabbed it.

I was so ready for the tug that normally happened when they tried to keep holding onto the bag, but that didn’t happen this time. I peered at the mirror, expecting to see her running after us, but she stood there and only shouted a few profanities after us. Huh. Easy.

We zigzagged a little on our way to the closest drop off point, which was the abandoned gas station this time. We stopped behind it and gave the bags to our friends, as always, but instead of going back, Zach took off his helmet and gestured for me to do the same.

“I think we’re done for the night. We’re just wasting gas,” he told me.

“Yeah, my thoughts exactly,” I agreed.

“I hoped there would be more people out on the streets since there’s a big football game going on, but I guess our team lost,” he explained with a grin. “No one’s celebrating.”

“Right,” I said, feeling better now.

I’d get to go home…

“Okay, let’s make one last loop around the center, but if we don’t get anything, we’ll head back to my place,” he said.

I nodded, and we both pulled our helmets back on. I followed him when he headed back to the street, then stopped behind him to wait while two cars were about to pass us by.

I smiled a little. Another successful night. And by that I meant no one got injured… I was so relieved. I also hoped the bags we got had plenty of expensive stuff for True Order to sell.

For some reason, the world suddenly got really super bright. I had to shield my eyes with my hand when it happened, so I couldn’t tell where that light was coming from.

But I did hear the sirens.

“Fuck!!” I heard Zach’s muffled voice. “Drive! Drive! Drive!!”

Cops! The two cars were both cop cars! How did they find us?!

Zach and I both hit the gas pedal and sprung our bikes around to get away from the street and the cops. That spot was our only official way out of the gas station, but I guess that was why we were using dirt bikes. We had plenty of unofficial ways to choose from. The yard around the gas station was filled with junk, but there was just enough space for us to maneuver past them, while the cop cars couldn’t follow us. We then had a dry ditch and a wide patch of grass and shrubbery to get to the closest street, but we quickly made our way past them, too. Once we had asphalt under our tires, we sped up while the cops chased after us at a slower pace, but their pace was not slow enough for us to get rid of them… They also had friends, as we soon found out when more vehicles joined the hunt.

My heart froze, then started racing when I suddenly understood how fucking screwed we were… How screwed I was! If I got caught…

Alex…

Stealing bags was one thing, but stealing bags for True Order…? If what Zach told me was true, these cops could easily kill us without batting an eye! And if they let us live, they’d throw us in jail for decades for terrorism!

I would never see my brother again… He would never find out what happened to me…

No, no, no, no… Why was this happening…?! 

Alex…!

I drove as fast as I could to keep up with Zach, who was speeding down the streets like a madman. At least I had my alpha’s instincts helping me now, but since I was panicking, my alpha was panicking, and the whole chase became one massive blur to me. I only remembered bits and pieces of it, streets we drove through, cars we almost ran into, and people jumping out of our way when we dashed through red lights.

And the cops followed…

My hands were shaking so hard… I could hardly even breathe… I had no idea where we were going, or if Zach had a plan… All I could do was follow him and pray to all the lords above that we’d get away.

Then… Suddenly, we had tall chain-link fences right in front of us. Behind those fences lay the destroyed part of our city, a vast abandoned land filled with broken buildings and a million tons of rubble and trash and abandoned campsites. It was where the looter clans used to live and rule before the mafia cleaned them out.

Zach reached the fence and hopped off his bike while I stopped next to him. He gestured for me to be quick, then pushed his bike through a large gap in the fence. I hurried to follow his example right when the cop cars surrounded us. With my heart racing, I pushed past the fence, my bike almost getting stuck on it, but I made it through right as when the cops dashed out of their cars to get to me. If I’d been two seconds slower, they would’ve caught me, but I climbed back on my bike and sped after Zach, who was already heading down the narrow pathway into the dystopia.

They couldn’t follow us…

The cops couldn’t follow us…!

I let out a loud laugh out of pure fear and relief… We just had to get far away from them and find another way back home… But holy shit, I was shaking… My hands shook so hard I could barely control the bike. My heart still raced fast, and my stomach felt like it was filled with molten lava. But the cops couldn’t follow us with their cars. We escaped… We actually got away from them!

Holy crap… Holy… Crap…

Alex…