There’s a pep in my step as I walk throughout the campus. Nothing beats escaping a near death experience! My trusty wristwatch beeps, alerting me that chemistry will be starting in exactly 7 minutes. If I walk slowly I’ll make it there at an acceptable time. Normally I dread the class, but it will feel good to be able to relax for an hour, especially after the amount of BL scares I’ve had today.

“I will need everyone to choose a lab partner and then we can get started.~”

I make a constipated looking face as I try to keep the corners of my mouth from curling downwards into a frown. This world is always working against me! I am seriously not in the mood for lab partner romance, however if I insist on working alone then I’ll stand out. The smartest move would be to partner up with someone already trapped in a BL. That way, since they’re already taken, no feelings will develop. Luckily for me, my buddy Seiichi was recently sucked into a Level 4.

“Hey Seiichi, partner with me!” I shoot him a smile and he walks over.

“I wanted to partner with Seiichi.~” An unrequited lover of Seiichi whispers from the back of the room.

Poor guy, he’ll probably be alone forever, as are most unrequited lovers. Perhaps if he’s lucky he’ll get a spin off.

“Satoshi! It’s been a while man.~” Seiichi playfully throws an arm around my neck. 

“Heh, you’re right. We should grab drinks sometime!” The last thing I want to do is hang out with Seiichi, but in order to blend in I must be social. I cannot allow myself to become “different” or a loner.

“How bout we go tonight?~” 

He just had to suggest tonight. 

“Sounds good!” I know full well I can’t turn him down. If I do, I could end up in a BL predicament. 

“Of course Satoshi already has a partner, he’s so popular.~” I turn to see a dejected boy behind me. He has long dyed red hair and is short in stature. A BM if I’ve ever seen one. I glare at him, expecting him to move but he doesn’t. 

Don’t engage Satoshi, don’t engage. Gritting my teeth, I barely manage to stop myself from acknowledging his whisper. This is a problem for future Satoshi to deal with. Ignoring him, I turn back to Seiichi and discuss the lab project.

“Class dismissed, please clean up your lab before you leave.~” 

Finally! 

I scoop up a couple beakers and walk towards the sink to rinse them off. Unfortunately, as I reach for the faucet, so does another male.

“Oh, I’m sorry.~” Some short idiot blushes and quickly jerks his hand back. Instead of saying “your fine” or “it was my fault” I completely ignored him. 

It’s not like I’m purposely trying to be a jerk, it's just the slightest thing can be taken the wrong way. Holding a door open, saving a seat, even saying sorry could all lead to a BL. It is key to always be alert and never too friendly. Otherwise, your chastity is in danger.

“His hands were so large compared to mine.~” 

Nope.

“Arata (sacrifice) can you wash these out for me? I suddenly need to use the restroom.” Without waiting for a response I gather my things and exit the classroom. Finally, I can go home and get some much needed rest.

“Hey Satoshi, wait up!~” Internal screaming ensues as Seiichi catches up to me. “We still on for drinks?~”

 A fake smile decorates my face. “Of course buddy!”

“Okay great! Let me grab Eiko, he’d love to come!~” Yay, now I have the honor of being the “friend” in Seiichi’s BL. Sighing, I lean against a tacky yellow wall and wait, deciding that if he’s not back in 10 minutes I’m going home. Those trapped in BL’s don’t have any awareness for others, as they are too busy ogling each other, trapped in their own little world.

“I told you to stop showing up at my school! The other students are scared of you!~”

“It seems like you're trying to hide something from me.~”

“I’m not hiding anyth- Mmmgh~”

I clench my jaw and try my best to ignore glasses boy and his gangster boyfriend making out in the hallway. No shame. No shame at all.

“Hey I’m back… waa?~” Surprisingly, Seiichi notices the pervy bastards eating each other's faces in the middle of the hallway and covers Eikos eyes. “GASP! Don’t worry Eiko, I won't let your pure eyes be spoiled!~” 

Heh, guess he doesn’t care about my pure eyes. 

“Seiichi I can’t seeee!~”

“I know, just bear with me until we get outside. It’ll just be a little longer.~”

I cough trying to hold back my laughter. Eiko is a grown man, yet Seiichi is treating him like a child. If I wasn’t aware of the BL spell that has tainted my world, I think I would likely die laughing.

“Eiko! What's wrong? Are you sick? You feel hot!~” 

pfff.

“I was the one that coughed.” I reassure my friend. He straight up ignores me, solely focused on shielding Eikos eyes from the messed up BL world he, himself is a part of.

Finally, after what seems like forever, we make it outside. I smile despite Seiichi’s prolonged silence as he babies a grown man.

“So, where we drinking?” I try to start up a conversation, in an attempt to end the loving couple next to me’s PDA.

No response.

“WHERE ARE WE DRINKING?!”

“Oh! Satoshi! I forgot you were there!~”

“S-sorry.~” Of course Eiko quietly stutters an apology. After all, he is your most typical B.M., complete with unkempt hair that hangs in his large brown eyes, his pale, flawless skin making all of the girls jealous. 

“It’s fine, to make up you can get the first round!” I grit my teeth into a friendly smile.

“Satoshi looks scary~” 

Seriously…

 “It's fine Eiko I’m here~”

I am going to jump off a bridge istg.