Chapter15

Could only hand out flyers on weekends or fill seats at new store openings.

That work was sporadic, fierce competition, and the agents took a big cut.

By chance, I landed a night shift at a business teahouse.

5 PM to 11:30 PM.

Dorms locked at 11. I started bringin’ the dorm manager fruit sometimes, or packin’ up leftover clean pastries from the teahouse for her.

She started leavin’ the door open for me.

Got dinner from the staff meal. Saved another chunk.

Started as a regular waitress.

1200 a month. Grindin’work.

Then I saw the tea masters made way more, and the work was easier.

So I started sittin’ in on classes at the Agricultural University—they had a tea program.

Back then, I was like a spinnin’ top.

Zippin’between my uni and the Ag Uni by day. Workin’the teahouse by night.

Crashin’ past midnight. Out like a light the second my head hit the pillow.

Woke up ready to fight another day.

The tea master exam was way easier than the college entrance exam.

Got my intermediate certification. Pay went up 600.

Then my advanced. Another 600.

By the end of freshman year, my base pay was 2400.

Some customers would buy tea I recommended. Made extra on commission. Pulled in about 3000 a month total.

Meanwhile, seniors from my major? Startin’ pay was barely over 2000.

That year, Sister took her high school entrance exam. Placed in the top 30 county-wide.

A top high school in the capital contacted Mom and Dad, offerin’her a spot.

The county high school, desperate to keep talent, offered to waive tuition and dorm fees. Grandma and Auntie fought hard against the capital.

“What’s there to think? Stay at the county school!”

“Studyin’ in the capital? Tuition, livin’ costs … that’s a fortune! What if she doesn’t make it? All that money down the drain!”

Sister desperately wanted to go.

The county had been bleedin’ talent for years.

So many teachers poached by better city and provincial schools.    The county high school’s acceptance rate was droppin’ every year.

Mom and Dad hesitated.

It all came down to money.

I took a trip home, pulled out 5000 yuan.

“Of course she goes to the capital. Higher startin’ point means higher rungs she can reach later. Her whole life’ll be different.”

I’d taken so many wrong turns. I just wanted Sister to sail smooth, avoid every mistake.

Mom sounded a little boastful, sayin’ I could cover Sister’s tuition.

Grandma and Auntie were floored.

I was still a student. How much could a few part-time jobs possibly earn?

Next day, rumors flew through the village. Said I was out whorin’ every night in the capital. That my money was dirty.

That night after dinner, Mom asked, voice shaky: “Xiaxia … you ain’t really … messin’ around in the capital, are you?”

“All that money … how’s a student earn that much?”

I saw red.

Villagers talkin’ trash was one thing.

But she was my mother. How could she think that?

I snapped at her.

Dad scolded me: “Your Ma’s just worried! All that schoolin’taught you was to yell at your parents?”

Next day, I stood outside Auntie’s yard, voice drippin’ sarcasm:

“I work nights. Not ‘mess around’. Some folks never even left the county, wouldn’t know what a night shift is, would ya?”

“Got time to run your mouth? Maybe use it to earn money for your son’s bride price instead.” Auntie nearly choked.

I tried to convince Mom and Dad to move to the capital for work.

Bigger city, more chances.

My manager’s friend was contractin’workers for a university cafeteria. They were hirin’. But Grandma dug her heels in, cussin’him out.

Called him unfilial. An ungrateful wretch.

Called him a fool—bustin’ his ass for two daughters who’d just marry off anyway. All for nothin’. Said he didn’t care about the clan.

His nephews weren’t married yet. He wasn’t helpin’.

Dad backed down.

He sipped his grain liquor: “Forget it. Move to the capital, who’ll tend the fields?”

“You’re grown now. Got your own skills. You can help Qiuqiu with school. Your Ma and I … we’re tired. Earned a rest.”

Dad, I know you and Ma are exhausted.

But you’re only in your forties.

And I’m still a student.

But I couldn’t demand they strive harder. Could only push myself.

That’s when I understood.

How damn hard it is for a girl to climb.

‘Cause there’s always a thousand hands pullin’ you down.

The ones who should lift you up, cheer you on? Sometimes they’re the heaviest weight.

Thankfully, high school had dorms.

On weekends, I’d take the bus across the river to meet Sister.

Sophomore year meant more major courses. Preppin’ for the TEM-4 exam. Still workin’. Busier than ever.

Big cities hide dragons and crouchin’ tigers.

Sister’s midterms? She barely scraped into the top 100 of her grade.

That day, she was down in the dumps.

“Jie … I swear I’ve been tryin’harder than ever before …”

chapter16

I ruffled her hair: "Now you get how I feel."

"This is just life for regular folks," I sighed. "Nothin' comes easy. Gotta bust our asses 24/7, or we'll just fade into the crowd."

The sunset glowed on her young face.

Facing the sinking sun: "Qiuqiu, this is why we fight."

"Enjoy this grind. Breakin' our own limits. Qiuqiu, I know you can do it."

Every breakthrough comes with that crack.

It’s us shatterin’. But it’s also us bein’ reborn.

We hustle so one day, lookin' back, we can say: 'I left it all on the field. No regrets.'

chapter17

That winter, a few things went down.

Xiangxiang got divorced.

Kid stayed with the ex.

She was barely twenty, still listed as single on her household registration.

But she’d already been through one hopeless marriage. Withered away.

Sister’s finals? She clawed into the top 50.

Big Cousin finally hit the matchmaking scene.

No house, no car, no steady job. Got shot down left and right.

Landed a chick two years older.

She wanted ¥68,000 bride price plus three gold pieces.

Auntie didn’t dare peep this time.

Scared if she kept nitpickin’, her son’d stay single forever.

They set the engagement for the 6th day of Lunar New Year. Date for a year, marry by year’s end.

I couldn’t stand Auntie. Didn’t like Big Cousin either.

But if he wanted to marry? Not my circus.

Figured it wouldn’t touch me.

Boy, was I naive.

New Year’s Eve. Whole clan gathered at Uncle’s place for reunion dinner.

Both aunts called back.

Auntie was suspiciously eager this time. Cooked every dish herself. Thought she’d changed? Nah. Just wanted somethin’.

Midway through, Grandma laid it out:

"Dabao’s gettin’ engaged. You uncles and aunts gotta chip in."

"The Zheng family line can’t die with us. How’d we face our ancestors?"

"Dani, Xiaoni – you two pony up 5k each."

"Jianjun, you’re the uncle. Gotta rely on nephews to carry your coffin later. You cough up 20k!"

chapter18

My jaw damn near hit the floor.

Shot back: "Why should Dad pay for Big Cousin’s wedding? He’s got his own parents!"

Grandma slammed the table: "Shut your mouth! All that book learnin’ go straight to your ass?"     "I’m talkin’to your parents! Who asked you? You’ll be married off soon. No place for you here!" The two aunts lived in the city, doin’ alright.

Grandma leaned on ‘em hard. Reluctant, but they promised the cash.

Pressure shifted to Dad.

Auntie’s eyes darted to him: "Dabao’s like your half-son. You can’t be this cold-hearted."

"When you’re old and stuck in the village, who’ll help when you’re sick or bullied? Gotta have nephews watchin’your back."

"Think straight. Daughters marry out. Gone."

Dad didn’t say yes. Didn’t say no either.

After dinner, we headed back to our brick shack.

I told Dad not to buy Auntie’s crap.

"Even real sons ditch their folks. You think nephews will?"

Dad frowned: "If you were a son, I wouldn’t give a damn!"

"If we don’t help, what if the Zheng line really dies? Grandpa was barely breathin’ when he grabbed my hand, made me promise."

Mom mumbled: "Then … let’s give 5k too."

Dad glanced at me: "Make it 10k. Xiaxia, you’re workin’. You chip in 5k!"

Rage burned through me.

"Where am I supposed to get 5k? I’m broke!"

Dad slammed his fist: "Ain’t you makin’ good money? Can’t spare a bit for family?"

"I gotta live! I pay for Qiuqiu’s tuition and livin’ costs!" I fought back tears. "Dad, I’m still a student! I’m only twenty!"

Wanted to be like my classmates.

Dressed up, shoppin’, movies, trips, datin’, enjoyin’ youth.

But I had to hustle.

My cash? Traded youth and joy for it.

Gave it to Sister. Gave it to Mom and Dad.

But not one damn cent to Cousin.

Zheng family line die out? Couldn’t care less!

Blew up at Dad. Mom cried, couldn’t stop us.

Slammed my door shut. Mom followed.

Bare bulb lit her graying hair. She sighed: "All my fault … If I’d birthed a son, your dad wouldn’t … "

chapter19

So damn tired.

That line again.

Cut her off: "Mom, sons and daughters are the same. Half your blood runs in both our veins."

"Daughters can make somethin’ of themselves. Can take care of you when you’re old. When will you get that?"

That night, Sister slipped into my bed, whisperin': "Jie … am I holdin’ you back?" "No. Just wonderin’ … when will Mom and Dad ever change?"

"Maybe after I graduate and start earnin’."

"You think?"

Sister nodded hard: "It’ll happen."

Dad coughed up 10k in the end.

Borrowed part of it.

Made me sick and sad.

Auntie wasn’t happy. Sniped: "Just 10k? That’s nothin’!"

She eyed me: "Xiaxia’s rollin’ in it, ain’t she? Won’t help your own brother’s weddin’?"

Put on a pained face: "My tuition’s on loans! Maybe after Brother’s engagement, he could lend me some for school?"

Auntie’s face soured fast: "No can do. Your second brother and the young’un ain’t gettin’ any younger either."

God knows what she spread around.

Village elders started lecturin’ me:

"Xiaxia, college don’t make you too big for your boots. No brothers? Your cousins are your brothers."

"Gotta help out. Can’t forget your roots."

Help?

Over my dead body.