Paige Johnson

"Merry Christmas, beautiful people," Janey cheered early in the morning, barging in everyone's room like Santa sending presents but louder and more obnoxious.

"Get up! The sun has risen gloriously and the birds are singing Christmas carols," she swung my curtains open. Good thing I was wearing my sleeping mask— blocking even the harmless streak of light.

"Good morning," she peaked underneath as the string stretched out. Her smile is as bright as the morning sun. "Morning," my voice hoarse. Pushing her hands off, I turned to the other side and cocooned in the soft duvet.

"Get up! And get ready," she stripped my body from the warmth and comfort. "Everyone awake?" She responded with a yes but I doubt it. Hopeless to her energy, my feet touched the floor and I pushed my whole body off the bed, a groan of exhaustion slipped out. She pushed me to the bathroom and forced the toothbrush on my hand before squeezing the toothpaste on it. “Hurry!” She chirped and left me to freshen up.

For someone with a child in her, she was fast on her feet.

I chose to wear mom's santa knitted sweater as per usual. Christmas is never complete without it. "Wow! What time did you wake up?" The table was filled to the brim. There's pancakes, cut fruits, waffles, french toasts, cinnamon buns, scrambled eggs and bacon. "Early," she put down a freshly squeezed orange juice. "There's apple juice but it's from the box."

"Good morning, girls," Dad wondered and sat down next to me. Rui came after and breakfast was as noisy as ever. "Let's open presents!" Janey pushed everyone to the living room. We spent all night decorating the house, a little extra hours to the tree and putting all the presents we've bought along under it.

"This is for Janey. From her lover," I handed Rui's present and she couldn't stop giggling like a kid. She gave him a hug before tearing it open, she shrieked in delight and pushed herself on him. "I love it!"

She was holding two concert tickets. The concert is in two months, still plenty of time before her due date. "Our baby's first concert!" She sang.

"This is for—”

“Me! From Janey and Rui," I thanked them. I opened up and it took my breath away. "Thank you so much," it was a starry globe nightlight, it was perfect. I love stargazing and living in the city just took that passion away. The city lights outshine them and my busy life surpasses the night activity.

"I heard you've been stressed out and I saw this little ball on the way to work, it was as if it was written for you." Rui boasted. “It’s fate,” Janey remarked.

Janey gave Rui a brand of headphones. "It sounds amazing!" He grinned wide enough to light up the Christmas tree. "Lets see who's next," three more to go.

"For Janey and Rui from dad," I handed the big bulky present for two. The couple opened the gift together to reveal a box and whatever is inside, it made Janey teared up. "Daddy—" she handed the gift to Rui before running to dad for a hug.

"It's nothing special but it's from your mom and me." I gasped at the content, it was unimaginable. "After your wedding and before her condition worsened, she requested to go shopping for the last time. She kept going despite the constant rest we had to make. We spent a full day in the mall. She went back exhausted but with a content heart and so many bags," Inside were baby clothes and a letter from mom. "She insisted on getting clothes for her grandchildren and leaving tips for the mothers-to-be. She couldn't stop smiling at the thought of you guys getting married and having kids," dad's eyes reddened and I joined the hug.

"I'm glad she was able to attend the wedding," Janey's voice broke and we embraced each other for quite some time. I could see her choosing and writing these letters as if she's right in front of me. However, imagining my birth mother doing this, was only limited to the pictures, videos and stories shared by dad and my grandparents. It was never a big deal to not know her but now, the impossibilities consumed me. I wondered what she would be like; her smiles at my wedding, Her excitement about shopping for her grandchildren, her kisses as I lay down on the hospital bed or her comforting voice when she sang a lullaby.

"Your turn, honey." I took another box with my name on it. My heart pounds heavily at what awaits me. I slowly opened it and saw a beautiful knitted sweater similar to mom's. "Grandma knitted another one for you when she saw how you kept wearing Harper's. She didn't get to finish them so I tried to," he chuckled. "It's not as well-knitted as hers—" my body slammed for an embrace.

"It's beautiful, daddy. I love it," I kissed his cheeks. Tears soaking my cheeks, grandma was everything to me. She was my mother when I had none and losing her was heartbreaking. "There's more," he said and I rushed to the box again.

Under the sweater was a diary, I flipped it open to see it was empty but a few pages had writings on them. "She wanted to always be with you on your way to find love and happiness. She wrote a few things. She said it was as if her soul is inside the diary and she'll always will be there for you— conversing with you,"

"I should have given them to you earlier but I’ve forgotten all about them. Moving made me find so many treasures that I buried after her death," he confessed with slight guilt.

"It's fine, daddy. Now or then, will never change the fact it is with me. I love them,"

"Now, it's time for your gift." Rui handed the last wrapped-box to him, he smiled gratefully and glanced at his emotionally-wrecked daughters. "It's from all of us," Rui noted, since we were weeping and talking was difficult without breaking down. The gifts were in our hands, we couldn't let go.

"Lets see what you three bought. I wonder if I might cry as hard as you two, or worse," we laughed at his wittism. "I hope you'll like it," the big box was as big as his head but it was light as a feather. Dad looked baffled when it landed in his hands.

"You didn't forget to put something inside, right?" Dad joked as he shook the weightless box. "Don't let what you see deceive you, daddy." He chuckled at the advice and proceeded to unwrap it.

He burst out laughing when he saw the contents. He reached inside and took out a shirt printed with the destination of our family vacation. "I think it's high time for us to escape reality," my voice damp and he pulled us for another group hug but this time no tears.

"We haven't had a family trip for so long." We did them often but like everything else, they stopped working after mom died.

They were obsessed with learning everything from the people to the culture. After the trip, they would plan dinner parties to unfold the unknown to all their friends and families.

"I have been rather lonely but with you all being here, I can never ask for anything. So, let's have a Christmas party!" Dad abruptly announced which took all of us off guard.

"It's time to change their perception of this old man and I want them to know my beautiful girls and my son-in-law as well, of course," he looked at Rui and they exchanged a smile.