Nineteen: The Date Pt. 2

The Italian restaurant Philo was hoping to take Rocket by ended up closing early on Fridays. When they had pulled up, the lights were off and the doors locked. A lonesome worker could be seen through the warm-toned windows, shaking his head at them when they approached. Dejected, Philo sat in the driver’s seat of Eero’s car, pulled up by the curb. Rocket was scrolling on his phone, trying to find another place to go.

But the truth was, Philo was not hungry at all. He felt sick, in fact. This date was going terribly. First, he forgot to give Rocket the flowers when he picked him up, then the movie was boring and they had to leave the theater early. And of course, the restaurant, which was his responsibility to pick, was closed.

Knuckles white from pressure on the wheel, Philo finally snaps.

He swings open the car door, hands shaking. Rocket flinches from his sudden movement, his head lifting from his phone, and his eyes widening when Philo drops his leg out of the car and onto the road.

“Philo?”

Philo’s hand shoves deep into his pocket to retrieve a cigarette; something he had been craving so badly all night but had refrained from for Rocket’s sake. Because who would want their date to smell like cigarette smoke?

Gently shutting the door, Philo gives himself some space. He did not want Rocket to think he was mad with him, because that was far from the case. He was mad at himself. He lights the cigarette expertly, within a second, and brings it to his lips, fingers trembling. A deep breath of smoke swirls in his throat, his lungs, and he feels himself calm down.

It had him so calm that he did not hear Rocket getting out of the car, too. And soon, he was right beside Philo with a concerned expression on his face. His lips were pushed together and wrinkled, eyebrows drawn up in an adorable display of worry.

“You okay? Stressed?” His voice is gentle and forgiving, and Philo wishes he was better at things like this. If only he knew what to say, what to do, how to make everything better. Rocket deserved that much, but Philo just couldn’t provide it.

“Yeah.” Philo grunts, breathing out another smoke cloud that Rocket dodges.

The crickets grow loud as the night grows darker. The moon peaks out shyly from behind the tall buildings surrounding them. Quietness echoes throughout the streets dotted scarcely with cars and people strolling; it was getting much too late to continue. It was probably best that Philo just take Rocket home before he messed anything else up.

“About what? You can tell me.” Rocket hums, leaning his back onto the car, hands neatly folded behind his back. A patient look crosses his eyes, the same one he had whenever Philo left Sara’s.

“I’m sorry.” Philo sighs, rubbing the back of his palm over his eyes. “I meant for this night to go much smoother, and I feel like I messed everything up. I should have checked to see when the restaurant closed, and now it’s getting really late so I don’t know if we will have time to do what I wanted to.”

Rocket thinks this one over for a moment, clicking his tongue and swaying his body side to side as a distraction, a thing to do in the silence.

“What did you want to do?” He asks.

“I wanted to go to the lookout, the one in the mountains, but it’s a forty-five minute drive from here. I’m starting to think it’s not such a good idea anymore.” Philo rambles, his voice speeding up as he tries to come up with an excuse to get this over with. By no means did he regret asking Rocket on a date, nor did he not wish he could date Rocket, but this whole experience was showing him how much he did not deserve to. “And I’m sure you’re hungry, because I am. I know you work out, too, so you must be like, way hungrier than me. I’m sorry. I should have packed something for us to eat in case this happened…”

“Philo. Stop talking.” Rocket snaps unexpectedly. “I mean, seriously. We still have time to figure it out, so why are you freaking out? It’s just me.”

“That’s the whole problem!” Philo explains wildly, drawing out his words, “The problem is that it is you, and I don’t know how to act when it’s you.”

“Act normal, you goof. I want to go on a date with you, not some version of you that’s trying to impress me. You already impress me in your normal state. So, act normal and take me to the damn lookout!” Rocket’s laughing now, but Philo can see in his eyes that he really means it. Heart fluttering madly, Philo snubs out his cigarette beneath his shoe and gets back in the car. If Rocket was sure about him, he should be sure about himself.

“Come on, then!” He tells Rocket, who races around the front of the car to the passenger’s seat with a wide, toothy grin on his mouth.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽ ☆ ☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ 

The drive up to the Star-point Lookout was quicker than initially expected, as the roads were clearing up considerably. Philo cruised along the curving, ascending trails, blasting some obscure punk-pop song Rocket knew every word to. He was screaming each word at the top of his lungs, throwing his arms and head out the window to feel the heavy wind on his face. It would have been obnoxious if it were anybody else doing it. But it was Rocket, so it was fine.

“Alright, head back in the vehicle! We’re here.” Philo calls to him, to which he does obediently. “There’s a short trail to the peak, so I hope you’re alright with walking in the woods at night.”

“Sure thing!” Rocket sing-songs and hops out of the car. There’s a sudden pep in his step now, after they had had that talk, and Philo was reaping the rewards of it. Whenever Rocket was in a good mood, it was hard for him to not be in one, too. “I could most definitely take a bear.”

“No you could, most definitely, not.” Philo corrects him with a hint of sarcasm. They both knew there were no bears in these woods, and they also knew neither of them could take one. But it was fun to imagine a world in which they could. “Lucky for you, I brought my pocket knife.”

Rocket lets out an indignant laugh.

“A pocket knife would do nothing to a bear.” Philo snorts at how seriously Rocket took this. They started their ascent up to the peaks then, dodging thin trees and random holes in the ground made by scurrying animals. It was getting harder to see as the night welcomed itself, but the trail markers were still visible. “You’re better off using your fists.”

“How about we avoid seeing bears altogether, tonight?”

The silly conversation is very suddenly dropped as the peak is reached. Rocket can only stare in pure amazement and awe as the scene unfolds around him. A sky draped in a blanket of stars and mystical shining lights that seem to twinkle every second or so. Pin pricks of sparkling, dazzling confetti that reflect wonderfully off tall, needle-like buildings in the far distance. His eyes widen upon the view, and Philo is sure he can see every constellation in his irises.

“Woah.” Rocket breathes.

“Have you never been up here?”

“No. I didn’t know about it until now.”

“Well, now you do. You’re welcome.” Philo shoots back, and Rocket can only offer him a giddy, excited smile. Like a child discovering the world for the first time. Philo was happy he could be the one to help him discover it.

Rocket takes the opportunity and very slowly, very carefully, leans his back into Philo’s chest.

“Is this fine?” He asks, voice barely above a whisper.

Philo bites down on his bottom lip, feeling that love and affection coming back at full force.

“Of course it is. It’s you, after all.”