TW: This chapter contains mentions of SA starting at “He, however, believed…” and ending at “You know the rest…”; reader discretion advised.

They were both rather disheveled by the time the sun had hit its zenith in the sky. The final dredges of autumn had finally grasped Reyk in its crisp hold, where even now the sun held little warmth. Still, how many afternoons now had they spent like this, basking in each other for warmth and company? 

Radhildur reclined lazily, propped up on their elbows, their eyelids relaxed shut. Frederich had opted to lay down, his head resting on their stomach. It felt odd, this sort of closeness, and yet he was drawn to it quite fondly as they’d continued these clandestine dalliances. Radhildur mussed their fingers playfully through the long strands of his hair. 

“So what're we telling the advisors I learned today?” Radhildur asked, bemused.

“Whatever you want,” Frederich hummed, blissfully unbothered. 

Something thundered in Radhildur's chest, it sounded tender.

Frederich twisted a bit to stare back at them. “You transformed again?” It wasn't a question.

“It would seem I'm back to my usual self, yes.” Radhildur seemed disappointed.

“Both are fine forms, Rathi,” Frederich said. “Truly.”

“I'm glad to know you're not partial to either,” they snorted, giving the slate strands of his hair a light tug. “Unfortunately, I'm partial to one over the other.”

They continued to lounge comfortably before Frederich felt the question, ever since Trevor had mentioned it, arise from the back of his head.

“You had said you'd transformed only one other time before,” Frederich said slowly. Radhildur tensed beneath him. “Why?”

They didn't answer for a long time, their hands pausing and falling to the ground beside them. 

Frederich waited.

“I had just turned twenty four, and my courtship to Seanharras had formally deemed our engagement,” Radhildur said softly. “We had…been inseparable, he and I, despite our coupling being arranged. Together we learned legislature and other duties fitting to ruling nobles. We were to take over a duchy between Reyk and Dundin. I thought that was a sign of our friendship, that we complimented each other well enough to be entrusted with the task. He, however, believed that our engagement meant he had access to more of myself than just my companionship. And I had not wanted that. Not with him.”

Frederich felt his stomach rise to his throat.

“He did not ask me what I wanted, and instead, he took by force what he craved from me when I refused him,” Radhildur's body shuddered as they reclined more, staring up at the sun. “It feels like a lifetime ago, but back then…even though I had never loved my original form, I was resigned to it. But at that moment, I wanted so much more than to be something to take from. I burned with greed for something better for myself. To be something more than my body.”

They paused, and Frederich felt as though something shifted in the air. It became alive with static and lightning—with that sharp tell-tale of Ku's bite.

“And I heard it then, the voice of Ku,” Radhildur was quiet and contemplative. “And it told me to bite back, and tear for myself the piece of the world that I wanted to fit in.”

Frederich's eyes widened, and nausea swept over him. He wondered how Radhildur was neither infuriated or frustrated by speaking of this. They looked tired and used to the words. Numb to them. How often had they tried to relay what had happened only to be met with resentment or disbelief?

“He bit my lip while he was, you know, and I broke away so suddenly that my lip split in half. Left the scar on my mouth as Ku imbued my blood with its pact. It's probably why the wound never healed quite right. That was the first time I ever transformed. Seanharras was scared beyond words, especially when I smashed his face into the floor,” they paused to chuckle; it was a mirthless and bitter sound. “And I? I was addicted to being how I always imagined myself. In the body I had only dared to dream of. Strong. Having a say. And being listened to if I threatened someone with a fist to the face.”

Frederich sat up and looked at the heir with horror.

“You know the rest,” they smiled sadly. “I trained for years. To rely on my own might, not just Ku's. So I'd ensure nothing like that would ever happen again.”

“You have to know you did nothing wrong,” Frederich said quietly, as if he couldn’t believe he had to say the words aloud. It should’ve been common sense. “Nothing like that should’ve happened in the first place.”

Had it been him in Radhildur’s place, he would’ve started the rumors about killing suitors too. He would’ve rendered apart Seanharras with his own two hands if he could have.

“I know,” Radhildur said, their smile softening a little. “But now everyday, I choose who I am—who I want to be. Radhildur? Rognvaldur? They are both me. That is cursed heir you now know.”

“You are not cursed. Even if this is the event that brought you to who you are now, you have to know such a trial was not right. For a choice like that to be taken from you.”

The electricity in the air fizzled to a mere crackle and Radhildur stared at him for a long time. “Do you truly believe that?”

 “Of course. Ku gave you the autonomy and might to carve your own path.” Frederich reached out slowly, as if scared to startle them, and gently cupped their face, marveling at the way Radhildur’s expression melted in his grasp. He swept his thumbs along their cheeks and exhaled slowly. “You are more than anyone’s decision of what they want you to be. More than the king or Prince Seanharras. You are more than the trials that were set before you. You are more than the body you were born into. You are you, and you can be greedy—far, far greedier. You can want a better life, a better choice for yourself.” 

He rested his forehead against theirs, his body trembling as he tried to rein in his anger. 

This is what the seventh heir had to go through all these years? While the king and the other nobility harped on the fact that Radhildur was no longer their quiet puppet of a princess? They were far stronger and far more deserving of the crown than he had ever once believed.

“This is my fealty to you, Seventh Highness, Radhildur,” Frederich murmured. “To always respect the path you choose.”

“There doesn’t need to be oaths between you or myself, Freddie,” Radhildur’s voice was horribly affectionate, so strained he could barely hear it. “Just a promise. We will carve out our paths together.”

Frederich barked out a laugh. “Some terrible monster you are. You’re so terribly romantic and sentimental.”

“I have my moments,” Radhildur chuckled, and leaned in. For a second they just inhaled and exhaled softly, as if grounding themself in the moment. Frederich enjoyed their nearness, savoring the warmth of their skin and the phantom touch of their hair as it framed both of their faces. He waited then, for Radhildur to make the first move—for them to march forward however they wished once they were ready.

Eventually, they pressed a slow and unhurried kiss to Frederich’s lips, and he easily followed. Their movements were lethargic and dizzying, as if they both had all the time in the world.