Chapter II

The induction week was a damn slog, I am not gonna lie. Show up, listen to some professor or the other talk about their field—Chemistry, Maths, Psychology, or whatever—and then leave the campus by 12pm. Next day, same thing, different profs. Occasionally, we were given speeches by alumni of the college, or some random “successful person”, and the majority of their speeches boiled down to “work very hard, become successful”. That was all, really. I remember thinking one day as I sullenly walked up the steps, “Shit man, just start the damn classes already!”

I recollect the speech made by one prof, though. Professor Simon, one of the guys who taught Commerce. He was here to tell us the merits of taking commerce as an elective. He talked in quite a funny manner, and waved his hand around wildly, which drew us closer to the guy.

And then, he told us the story of his wife’s first pregnancy—

“—Oh, and about that. Guess what, she’s become pregnant again! Which is confusing, as she complained to me during the first that it was the most terrible, painful experience she had ever been through. And even then, she was more than ready to go through that hassle again. Pretty confusing, huh?”

Everyone in the hall nodded their heads in unison.

“Like, imagine the worst pain as a guy—getting your nuts kicked. Any guy in this hall, would you deliberately want your nuts kicked? Raise your hand…”

Unsurprisingly, no hands were raised.

“You see? And somehow, even thought pregnancy have been ranked as the most painful experience ever, as soon as the first kid starts toddling, they always say, “Why not another one?” Oh, and another story I wanna share. This one’s about the current pregnancy…”

Prof Simon cleared his throat, and took a deep breath.

“So, my first-born is a boy. So, naturally, in the second case, I’d want a girl. Right? But I’m unsure, so what do I do? I ask the doctor during the ultrasound, weeks before the delivery, if it’s a boy or girl. The doctor freaks out! Her eyes pop out of their sockets. “Mr. Simon…” she starts. “It is illegal for me to disclose that information, and for you to ask that, even.” I didn’t understand why, until—bam! Yes, it is against the law, dear students, to determine sex during amniocentesis. But I didn’t have any nefarious purpose, no! It wasn’t like I’d abort the child if it were a girl, which is normal in North India, or so I’ve heard… I wanted to confirm if it was a girl, because I had promised an old friend who ran a paint dealer shop that I’d buy his last stock of pink paint if it were a girl. It would be of no use, if it were a boy. Or maybe it doesn’t matter—boys, girls, no one colour should be reserved for one sex only!”

He wiped the sweat off of his brow.

“Anyway, students, all I can say is this. Life is beautiful. Live through the whole experience, laugh plentifully, and love—”

—Sly grins appeared on everyone’s faces. Prof Simon became embarrassed. He composed himself, and slowly, deliberately, spoke his next few words. “And as for love… I dunno, it’s up to you. Just don’t grab any attention, for God’s sake!”

The whole audience roared with a wave of laughter. Yes, sir—Prof Simon was a riot! The laughter died down in seconds.

The next few days afterwards were nothing special. I made a couple more friends—a guy named Alfred who had also joined for BSc Physics, an energetic fella named Devesh who was in BSc Botany, and yes, I kept in touch with Subash too, who was in BSc Chemistry—and in the downtime, I chatted with them. Mostly we just shot the breeze. It was usually things like “Bro, you see that new film?” or “Bro, you catch that Man U game yesterday?”. But that crazy guy, Devesh, man… He broke the polite bubble by asking me a crazy question.

“Da, bro… You ever had a girlfriend before?”

That question was like a hard slap to the brain. My system took a while to reboot when he said that. Memories I had kept bottled down for almost two years came rushing back. No, I hadn’t ever dated up to that point. But I had gotten close to one girl. So close, yet so distant…

It was during our Plus Two class trip to Kodaikanal. The boys and I were cycling around the lake, and just chatting. On our second trip round, I noticed a small crowd of girls blocking our path.

“Hey, what’s going on?”

“Gauri’s cycle got a puncture.”

It was true. The tyre was flat as a chalkboard at the bottom, and it was still pissing out air. I looked to the left to see Gauri sitting sullenly on the footpath. I wanted to say something, but it was like her pretty face has frozen my mouth shut. She looked dazzling in that pink sweater of hers. It really brought out her curves, and—dammit! I just couldn’t focus on anything when I was in her vicinity.

The brain-fog slowly lifted. I slowly stumbled onto an idea in my mind. But was I confident enough to say it out loud?

“Y… you c-can have my cycle, G-Gauri…”

She looked up from the footpath. “Really?”

I nodded. She smiled, and sprang up to her feet. “Thanks, da,” she said, as she got onto the cycle, and gestured to her friends to follow her, which they did. In seconds, she was gone.

“Wait, I…” I trailed off. She was too far to hear now. “Fuck…” I muttered under my breath. I had cooked up a scheme in my mind. I would have taken her to the cycle rental area, with her resting on the frame of the cycle, and rented a new cycle for her with the little money that I had. I would have used the opportunity to get to know her a little more, and maybe even confess my feelings to her. That plan died out quick like a fish out of water.

I stuffed my hands down my jacket’s pockets, and sulked. I drew the hoodie down, and just lumbered down the road, gloomier than the darkest rain-clouds. I had really fucked it all up. There was no better chance to confess, and I had lost it.

My mind rolled back into the present. I became aware of my surroundings once more. “Hello, bro, you awake? You alive?” asked Devesh.

I slowly tilted my head to face him, and nodded. “Y… yes. Don’t worry about me.”

The ghosts of the past haunted me for days after that little convo. And then, came the final hour of the final day. Dear Krishna, I won’t ever forget that one…

“How do you use cocaine?” asked the representative of the NCB—Narcotics Control Bureau, for the uninformed. We giggled, and jokingly sniffed the top of our hands. For extra theatrical flair, I wiped the bottom of my nose and sniffled. The rep, Mr. Sharma, nodded approvingly. “Yes, exactly. And what’s that called?”

When he got no coherent reply, he answered his own question. “Snorting. Next drug…” He clicked a button on the remote. Next up was heroin. He explained how heroin is made, how much it costs on the street, and why it is so addictive. He asked us, “How do you use heroin?” We made a crude jabbing gesture with out fists, onto the lower part of our left arm. “Yes, exactly. Intravenous injection. Coupled with the tying off of the arm for “maximum pleasure”, of course. But drugs, dear students, aren’t a pleasure worth chasing…”

“Bullshit…” spat Devesh silently. I looked at him.

“What, did you use it yourself?”

“Yeah, bro!” he said, “In fact, an older friend of mine gets that good shit, the uncut coke, you know? I get invited to his parties sometimes, and we have a good snorting sesh then.”

“How’d you meet?”

“He’s a friend of my older brother. They went to the same college, and used to hang out with him all the time. I tagged along one night, and shit man, I swear, you go to one of those parties, it changes your life. Fuck birthday parties, wedding receptions, and all those other ones that are “socially acceptable”! It’s about damn time we had some actual party culture in India. Shit, dude, you ever see those Hollywood movies with party scenes?”

“Like, the one in “The Social Network”?”

“Exactly like that! Crazy night, man. Everyone was either drunk, high, or both. And bro, the girls at the party were loose”

“There were girls?”

“Plenty of em, maccha! You wanna know a little something?”

I nodded.

“I even…” A devilish grin sprang up on his lips. “Got a little something that night…”

“Um, what, exactly, did you get?”

The grin widened. “Can’t guess? Well, alright, let’s just say that…” He looked down at his crotch, and laid his left hand over it gently. “…My package got a little wet…”

“No fuckin’ way! You’re lying!” I was astonished to hear this. Here I was, a loser who couldn’t even talk to girls straight without stammering, and Devesh somehow got a chick to suck him off!

“Da, it ain’t a lie! You stick around with me for a couple months, I’ll try and introduce you to the guy.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes—that is, if you’re even interested, Mr. Coaching…”

What did he mean by that quip? I thought. Did he think I was innocent? Boring? I didn’t want any such misconceptions, so I said, “Shit, I’m down for anything, man. Hit me with it.”

“Stick around, bro. Stick around…”

And so, that’s how the final day of induction ended. Just like all the other days, this day ended unceremoniously—but this time, at 3pm, instead of 12. I walked out of the campus, unsure of what I could expect in the near future. But I won’t lie, it seemed alluring as hell. Especially if what Devesh had said was true…