Ash frowned.

I like him. Ash couldn’t deny it, not when his heart raced any time he thought about seeing him again. Every day turned into a minefield, being thrown between a longing hope that Faysal would visit Masako and her family so he could talk to him again while the scared voice in his head dreaded the idea. Ash spent an uncomfortable amount of time thinking about it; his mind wandered enough that even Masako started questioning what was wrong with him.

He sighed. It’s not that he didn’t want to text Faysal, a fact that Tenya gleefully reminded him about every time he sent her a message instead, but doing so was different. He’d tried to create so many—Hi, thank—but he deleted them all, including the most recent, before pressing his phone to his mouth and closing his eyes.

Why can’t I do this?

He opened them when the device vibrated, peering warily down at it to see a new message from Isao.

Even though he spoke to his parents daily, Isao sent him small updates when the elder thought about it. They usually consisted of reassurance that they were settled in and the team was treating them with all the respect that agents of their caliber deserved, but the one he stared down at contained a picture. Ash tapped it open, laughing when an image of an irritable cat appeared. Courtesy of your mother, the text read, since she said he reminded her of you.

The phone pocketed once again, Ash followed idly behind Masako. The students and teachers swarming around them chatted about the shrine they’d just visited and the lessons they’d learned. Ash didn’t mind the change of pace, nor did Masako seem to; in fact, she quietly watched him pay his respects to the shrine, the corner of her mouth tilting up once he’d turned to usher her away. He’d expected a comment from the mouthy teenager, likely about how boring it all was, but received silence from her as they walked away.

As they gathered back together, the sky turned a threatening shade of gray from the clouds collecting overhead. Ash tilted his head up, blinking, as the first drops of rain started to fall. Masako groaned, scowling, when he pulled her closer to shield her with his jacket. The bus wasn’t parked too far away, their hasty steps getting them there before the worst of the downpour started, but even so he had to pull his damp hair out of his eyes once they stood at the open doors.

“Of course.” Masako’s voice turned shrill. “Leave it to you to pray for rain!”

“I didn’t!”

“I’m still blaming you!” Masako snorted, grabbing his shirt to steady herself when she slipped on the wet sidewalk as she tried to get on the bus. Once they’d thrown themselves into a seat, she shoved her wet bag onto his lap. “Hold this. I don’t want my skirt to get messy.”

With an exasperated roll of his eyes, Ash sighed. “We’re going home after this. Why’s it matter?”

The bus took off with a jerk. They watched the shrine disappear behind them, the serene land being replaced with more of the city soon enough. Masako reached over to pull her phone out of the side pocket of her bag. Pulling up a photo of a small box, she showed it to him. “Faysal-kun is coming by to drop a gift off from ojisan… I wonder what it is…!”

As the teenager mused over the possibilities, Ash sat in conflicted silence, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He’ll be there. Fuck!

At the school, Masako ran off to say her goodbyes. Ash hastened to grab the car, his thoughts spiraling. Relieved to have a moment alone, he sat in the suffocating silence. Glaring judgementally in the rear-view mirror at his disquieted eyes, he sighed and leaned forward to press his forehead against the steering wheel, skin to cool leather. He wanted to rush to get there faster; the faster they got there, the faster he could address the weird feelings he had. He also wanted to run in the opposite direction, but Tenya would likely murder him if he did.

He slowly quieted the confusion to find a place of calm again, breathing deeply. “It’s fine…” Ash wasn’t certain who he was trying to convince. “It’s not a big deal. Just pull him aside. He’s the one that started it, anyway. It’s fine… it’s fine…”

Masako immediately started texting her friends, completely ignoring him once he swung back around to fetch her. Ash glanced over to see her smiling at the screen. Would she be that happy if she knew? he wondered, chewing on his lip. Cutting the engine in front of the house once they arrived, Ash stared at the silver sedan already parked there; squinting, he caught sight of a thick book sitting in the back window through the rainy gloom. His shoulders bunching, he took a steadying breath.

Masako disappeared before he could even get out of his seat, her excitement making her nearly bounce inside. Ash followed, closing the front door with a soft click. He swallowed, the knot in his throat making it hard to breathe.

“Good afternoon, Masa-chan! Someone told me you were missing this.”

Rounding the corner, Ash looked up to see Faysal holding out the small gift box to the dark-haired girl. There was a nervous twitch in his stomach from seeing the other man without his suit jacket and tie, the topmost button of his dress shirt undone to expose more of his throat. As she started delicately opening it, her mother watching with mild interest from beside her, Faysal’s attention turned to him.

Time felt like it dragged as they stared at each other over her head. Faysal’s blue eyes betrayed an undercurrent of worry. His stomach lurching, Ash looked away to stare at the closest painting - one of Masako’s, if the vaguely familiar line work was any indication. It hurt to see the discomfort in the other man’s stare, a dull ache developing in his chest with the realization that he caused it with his indecision. Forcing the reforming knot down with a swallow, Ash met his unwavering gaze with a smile.

Faysal relaxed, the tension held in his shoulders and jaw releasing. A corner of his mouth curved up his eyes softened. Ash thought the heart was going to beat right out of his chest.

“It’s beautiful! Please thank obaasan for me!” Masako squealed, holding up a finely detailed bracelet. The teenager threw her arms around the taller man, glowing with joy.

Startled out of the moment, Faysal’s eyes widened, mouth going slack before he gathered himself. “I’m glad, and I’m sure Dad will be as well,” Faysal said, giving her a confused smile when Masako realized what she’d done, letting go and stammering out an apology

“Any issues?” Kei turned to Ash. Her disapproving frown faded once she looked away from her daughter.

He shook his head, crossing his arms calmly. Looking past her, he watched Faysal and Masako talk to each other. “None. Completely uneventful.” As she nodded, Ash pulled his backpack off, kneeling down to rummage through it. Fiddling with the zipper, he chewed on his lip. Shit, I can’t do this. I can’t ask him. There was no subtle way to get his attention again, even if he wanted to. “Unless you need anything else, I think I’m going to take my leave.”

Not that it mattered. If he ran away, he wouldn’t have to face the fact he’d blatantly blown Faysal’s gift off. That hadn’t been his intention, but if he read the other man’s expression right, that was the assumption.

“Of course,” she murmured, turning to return to her daughter.

Searching his bag, Ash peeked toward the small group. Faysal laughed at something Masako said. The idea of running away only grew when the sound made him grow warm. He sighed. “Of course I’d forget my umbrella the one day I need it…” he muttered under his breath.

“Yes, he’d been looking forward t- wait.” Ash froze, glancing over warily when Faysal abruptly stepped toward him, frowning. He shrugged, outwardly nonchalant despite his inner panic, as he quietly zipped up his bag. An expression of realization dawned on Faysal’s face. “You walk.”

Ash nodded, shouldering his bag. “It’s not a big deal. I wasn’t prepared, that’s all.”

Almost like a badly timed joke, they looked up at the loud thunderclap that shook the windows down the hall.

“No, it’s pouring.” Faysal dug a hand into his pants pocket, pulling out a small ring of keys. “Let me take you home. It’s the least I could do-”

“No. No!” Ash waved his hands, shaking his head. Though a small voice urged him to accept the offer, it being the perfect opportunity to speak with him, his discomfort prevailed. “I’ve dealt with worse than a little rain. I’ll live. Thank you, you’re very kind, but I can handle it. Thank you, Suzuki-sama, Suzuki-san. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

He fled down the hall, not giving Faysal a chance to argue. He didn’t know if he could hold out if the other man pressed it, not when he was standing on a precarious edge between his own conflicted desires. Letting the door shut behind him, he sprinted down the driveway, pulling his hood up over his hair. Looking up toward the gray sky, the drizzle wetting his face, he sighed.

It was going to be a long, wet walk to the train.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, he fidgeted with the change hidden in one. His mind whirled, a pang of regret hitting him as lightning lit up the sky. He swore. I should’ve taken him up on it. Dammit, he thought darkly, scowling. He could have, but he let his nervousness and stubborn pride get in the way. The prospect was terrifying; the idea of being alone in a car with the blond where he could find a way to embarrass himself again was just too much to bear.

Why’d he even offer? It baffled him. Everyone else seemed keen to forget he was there, yet every time he turned around, Faysal did the opposite. Buying him dinner, seeking him out any time they met, getting him lunch-

He didn’t understand why it bothered him. Ash kicked at the ground as he walked, glowering at the wet concrete. It was far easier when he was alone, especially after dealing with the aftermath of his last relationship. Shuddering at the memory, he kicked a pebble down the sidewalk with the side of his foot to watch it bounce across the concrete. At least, he told himself it was easier. Tenya disagreed with him, often loudly, but it had worked for him well enough.

Until he showed up, anyway. It’d only been six months. The idea of risking what little stability he’d regained since those dark days was terrifying.

His shadow lengthened along the ground. He tilted his head as it continued to deform along the sidewalk in front of him, slowing his steps. Looking over his shoulder, he squinted at the headlights coming up fast on the road and frowned. Ash moved to the side to avoid the inevitable splashback as it passed.

Rather than rushing past, it skidded to a stop a few feet ahead. The driver's side door opened. A green umbrella appeared bright against the gray sky. Taking a few measured steps back, Ash’s jaw dropped when the owner revealed themselves with the upward flick of the umbrella.

“What the hell?” Ash asked, exasperated as Faysal tapped the door closed to walk toward him. He’d said he was fine. He’d said he could handle it, yet there the blond stood. “What’re you doing?!”

“Coming to get you. You’re quite the stubborn one, aren’t you?” The words were teasing, but Faysal’s worried expression contrasted greatly with them. “Please let me take you home?”

“But… uh…” Ash licked his lips. He felt relieved, truly relieved, despite the annoyance that bubbled up. Faysal couldn’t know he wanted nothing more than to run under the umbrella, yet he stood there despite the refusal he’d been given. I’m not a damsel in distress. Why are you here? “Why? I’m fine. This is nothing. I have literally dealt with worse.”

“I’m sure you are, and I’m sure you have.” As he spoke, Faysal gently placed a hand against Ash’s back, the touch electrifying the skin underneath his shirt. Ash opened his mouth to speak, but closed it with a snap. Faysal wasn’t trying to be condescending, his voice remaining gentle, and the snarky response he wanted to give felt painfully undeserved. “But this isn’t fair. You’re soaked through, and I know you probably would, but I want to make sure you get home safe. That’s all.”

As if illustrating his point, thunder mostly deafened the last half of what Faysal said. He could feel his resolve melting at his lingering touch, warm but firm, as the sky darkened once more. Ash looked forward, considering his options as he grappled with the discomfort. Out in the rain, there was no buffer of Masako or her mother. It was just him and the man that, for some completely inexplicable reason, gave a damn enough to run out in the rain after him and to remember something completely inconsequential like what brand of tea he liked when giving an apology.

His best friend was infuriatingly right. Ash wanted every agonizingly sweet word and gesture despite his protests to the contrary. Faysal waited patiently, the umbrella angled over them. Looking up at him through the wet hair sticking to his face, Ash tilted his head.

I’m going to say something stupid. Fuck.

The last of his will dissolved into the downpour.

Part of him wanted to justify it. He needed to get out of the rain. It made sense; the decision was completely practical. The other part—the annoyingly loud one—demanded acceptance that he truly, honestly, liked the idea of sitting and listening to that voice that made him feel mushy without an audience to interrupt them. With a frustrated sigh, Ash grabbed the umbrella and started walking. “Fine, I’ll let you have this one.”

As soon as he was in the car, Ash sank back into the seat. Listening to the rain beat on the roof, he looked around at the interior, turning to peer into the backseat. The book he’d noticed in the back window had shifted, the textbook’s spine pressing against the headrest. A blanket lay folded up on the seat. Everything about the car screamed neat, even the front dash looked like it’d been recently wiped down.

Faysal dropped into the driver's side seat, throwing the dripping umbrella behind him. Ash brushed his fingers through his hair as he watched Faysal shake the water out of his. He almost couldn’t resist giggling; Faysal completely missed the ignition as their gazes met, the rain not masking the loud tick of the key hitting the steering wheel column. Shivering, Ash rubbed his arms, turning down his face to hide the grin that broke through.

A weight dropped onto his shoulders. Startled, Ash straightened, his eyes going wide. He made a surprised sound; Faysal’s suit jacket, the one that had hung over the back of his seat, settled over his soaked clothing. “Sorry, I know I keep it Antarctic in here…” Faysal said.

Pulling it off, Ash tried to hand his jacket back, shaking his head. “No, I’m ok,” he insisted, “I’m just going to get it all wet.”

“Humor me?” Faysal rose an eyebrow, his expression impatient yet amused.