Ethan makes sure Kyle is out of sight before he makes his move, he's not going home, of course he's not, he’s headed back to the tree. He rushes down the stairs, the hallways are empty, everybody's at lunch. He feels the gentle breeze of the outdoors as he steps outside, then it hits him, nausea. This may have shortened his stride but it has not changed his destination, the tree, where he can escape, where he can find peace, or maybe something better than peace. Each step intensifies the feeling in his stomach, it's not pain but it's something close. There's the tree, he can see it, just the leaves, he still can't tell if she's sitting there yet, why does he care? Does he want to thank her? Apologise? Maybe he doesn't even know himself. He pulls back the rushes and can now see the tree's root and a pair of muddy converse, he recognises them, he knows exactly where he recognises them from but he doesn't know how he recognises them. 

I'm smiling? Why am I smiling? Why am I smiling when I'm trembling? I don't understand this stupid brain of mine. She's here, is this what I wanted? Her ? Did I want her to be here? I can't bear to face her…but I also can't bear to leave her behind. This stupid brain of mine, this foul fucking body I dont understand any of it, leave me alone. Leave ME alone, I need to leave myself alone.

Swish. Swish .swish .swish, he hears it, he snaps out of his pity parade. It's her, standing right in front of him, making that same swishing noise, she's smiling, like actually smiling, not the little smile she had earlier. Ethan sees her front teeth, he hadn't seen them before. What can he say? He's smiling too, a hauntingly natural smile, the kind that betrays the feeling of his stomach turning. Her voice hits him like a bus, so soft, so quiet, “thank you”. “Wow she actually thanked you?” Ethan thinks to himself “ooh thanks for ignoring me, thanks for treating me like shit you absolute prick, nice one Ethan…you dont care do you, you’re still smiling. Stop ignoring me Ethan, you know I'm right. You never ignore me, why start now?.”.

It takes them both the better part of five seconds to realise they've both been smiling at each other. Ethan looks down, the swishing is back, her thumbs press against her neck, she's not smiling anymore. “Why are you thanking me? I took the easy way out” Ethan says, melancholically. He feels like he's going to throw up, throw up what? He hasn’t eaten anything yet today. A look of concern enters Gertrude's face, “nobody got hurt because of me, that's a good thing, do you think I like watching you get beat up because of me?” she giggles slightly “you said it yourself didn't you? I'm not the devil”. There's a gentle smile painted on her face, it's subtle, despite the pain of her thumbs going into her throat she smiles, Ethan doesn't know this of course, he’s still looking down, he can’t let her see the glimmer in his eyes, what if he cries? How bad would she feel then? 

None of them move, completely still, silent. She pulls out her notebook, she starts drawing, her hands shaking, Ethan lifts his head, his stomach stops turning, he stops trembling, why? “What you drawing?” he asks, innocently…big mistake. “Oh nothing, i..iii…its nothing” she responds, closing her notebook and clutching it tightly to her chest, her mouth making a clicking noise. “Nice going Ethan” he thinks to himself “you’ve set her off again, do you hate seeing her happy or something? You love her suffering Ethan, you love seeing somebody else as fucked as you are, admit it. Not ignoring me now are you? You know I'm right, look what happened last time you ignored me, Ethan. Bang, wiped the smile right off her face, at least she isn't hurting herself right? She's probably had enough of hurting herself”. “Sorry” he says, his voice low and shameful. “Oh it's ok” she responds “it was just a dumb little drawing, I shouldn't be getting so easily distracted anyway”, her voice turns sweeter “can we…move to under the shade…im getting a little hot”. Ethan doesn't hesitate, he walks over to the tree and sits down, he sits about 3 feet away from where she usually sits, she smiles and follows him.

After a short silence Ethan pipes up,“I thought I'd find you here, I wanted to apologise…I know you said you’d rather I stayed away from you but truth be told…I’d rather get beaten up for being friends with you than follow the crowd” . “why are you opening up to this poor girl” Ethan scolds himself “this is your fight, your problem…” she cuts off his thoughts, “why not do both? You could sit away from me in class but we could still meet at this tree every now and again, then we’re both happy right?”, Ethan doesn't speak, he says nothing,then something unexpected happens, Gertrude raises her voice, it's nothing too aggressive but it hits Ethan like a tonne of bricks, her? Able to raise her voice like that? But what shocks him more are the words, "don't be so selfish, stop making me worry about you, stop making me the reason you’re getting hurt, stay away from me and they'll stay away from you…simple”. 

Ethan does it, it finally happens, the moment Ethan was dreading, tears. Not her tears, although she is crying too, it's his tears he dreaded the most.  How could two people so used to keeping it in crack like this at the same time, she starts digging her fingers into her thighs, violently, fuck it hes doing the same thing. It isn't much to write home about but there is a handful of tears rolling down both of their cheeks. “Ok…I’ll stop sitting beside you” Ethan says shakily, “but you have to promise that we’ll meet at this tree everyday, at least once a day” a selfish request, or so he thought, but there was something more than guilt making him want to see her every day. She doesn't look up, she doesn't stop shaking, the bell to signify the end of lunch sounds, she doesn't pay attention, neither does he, all she does is say two simple words, two words that she has to drag out of the depths of her mind, “I promise”. Her mind is reeling, “why does he want to meet me every day?” she thinks to herself, “surely once a week is enough for him to feel like he's helping me…and why make me promise? Surely if I miss our little meeting he gets some time to himself”. “This same tree, every day” he says, “the tree deserves a name, how about Miss Jackson?” the tears do not subside, he just simply ignores them

She has a puzzled expression on her face, “why Miss Jackson?”. “I don't know” he replies, “just a name I thought of, I figure Miss Jackson is a woman, a persistent woman, one who never gives up, one who keeps on blowing no matter what season it is, one who always has her goals in mind, that’s who I figure this Miss Jackson lady is, and that's what this tree represents”. “That's” Gertrude's voice comes in smoothly, "that's honestly kinda beautiful Ethan”.