Millie and Tibur seemed to be more excited about Tristan's vacation rental plans than they were about the news that he and Caleb were planning to exchange their wedding vows.

"It's like the ring all over again" said Millie, "It's just one of those things you expect of a married couple. You have to face facts I'm afraid, the two of you have been together so long that nothing you do can surprise us."

Tristan wondered if she'd feel the same if she knew exactly when their relationship began... not to mention how it had started. For him, he was still enjoying the novelty of all the 'firsts'.

"You, on the other hand" said Millie as she turned to Tibur, "Well, you are definitely the number one source of entertainment around these parts. How is 'Tibur the boyfriend' doing? Are you blissfully happy or are you freaking out yet?"

"Why would I be freaking out?" he asked, "Things are going well... for the most part."

"Aha!" said Millie, "Has he started ignoring you? Are you worried he might have changed his mind about getting into a serious relationship? It must be an adjustment for him."

Tibur held up his phone to show the seven missed calls and the string of unanswered messages from Michael's new number.

"He gets bored when I'm busy..." he admitted.

"Oh!" said Tristan, "I nearly forgot to ask you. About Michael and his- er... oh, um... never mind."

"Is it a sex thing again?" asked Millie, "Do you need to go and talk elsewhere?"

It wasn't that. Tristan had remembered what Anna told him on the balcony of the ninth floor apartment; that Michael had been suspended from his job. He just wasn't sure if it needed to be a private conversation.

"It can wait" said Tristan.

When Millie went out on her deliveries, Tristan took his chance to bring it up.

"His license was suspended..?" Tibur asked him, "No, it's not something he's mentioned... he always just said he was taking a break from work, and I never suspected otherwise."

"Anna could have got it wrong" Tristan suggested, "But I thought it was worth mentioning. Especially since the two of you are together now. How did my tips work out? Has Michael survived a second attempt..?"

"A second, a third and a fourth..." said Tibur, "I keep telling him we need to slow down."

"So why don't you?" asked Tristan, "It's not like he's doing it alone."

Tibur blushed, unwilling to admit that when that sculpted, naked body was in front of him he was unable to control himself.

"He just won't listen" he continued, "But tonight I'll sit down with him and just talk."

"Mmph! Michael..!"

The second he'd opened the door, his boyfriend had stuck his tongue into his mouth and tried to get his pants off. The freckle was almost visible by the time Tibur got them fastened again.

"But I missed you!" said Michael, "I've been playing with those toys I bought while I thought about you, but it wasn't the same... I'm ready if you want to do it. Against the door is fine, or we could try it on the bathroom counter..?"

"Michael" sighed Tibur, "You're going to wear yourself out at this rate..! Have you eaten? Why don't we sit down and think about what we're going to have for dinner?"

Michael cocked his eyebrow and bit his lip. 

"But all I'm hungry for is-"

"Say my dick and I'm leaving" Tibur announced, shutting him down before he found himself seduced again.

"I'll order sushi" Michael offered, sauntering off to find his phone.

Tibur watched his ass as he walked away, commending his own resilience in the face of such strong temptation.

As they waited for the food to arrive, Michael stretched his legs across Tibur's lap, lounging on the couch as his boyfriend went through his schedule for the upcoming weeks.

"Rub my calves..?" asked Michael.

Tibur's hand mindlessly worked while the other was used to scroll through his calendar. Between his jobs and his upcoming project at college, he was about to get even busier. Without something to occupy Michael with, he worried just how well he'd cope on his own.

"Have you thought about returning to work at all..?" he queried, laying the foundation to talk about the suspension.

"I've thought about it..." said Michael, "But right now I just want to be with you. If I go back to fly long-haul I'd miss you too much."

"Would it be that easy..?" asked Tibur, "For you to go back?"

"Fuck, Tibur, I was really romantic just now. Do you want to get rid of me that badly?"

"It's not that" he bargained, "it's just I've never known someone to take so much time off and then walk right back into their job."

"Now I could" Michael confessed, "But a few months ago it was a different story..."

Tibur stroked his leg, hoping to ease the words from his mouth.

"It's no big deal..." said Michael, "My parents worked abroad a lot and so I was raised by my aunt. Penelope. When she passed away at the end of last year it hit me pretty hard. Looking back, I guess I was drinking too much then..."

"Did you fly drunk..?" asked Tibur, trying to conceal his judgement.

"What?! No! I was depressed" Michael explained, "The medical examiner suspended my license for 90 days and I ended up coming to Modesh. The suspension's already been lifted, pending another evaluation, but why would I want to go back to work when I can be here with you?"

Bending his knee, Michael's foot was in danger of making contact with Tibur's crotch. He caught it just in time.

"The food's on its way" said Tibur, "So behave yourself. And I'm sorry... about your aunt. She must have meant a lot to you."

Michael turned onto his side.

"Rub my feet?" he asked.

He didn't like to dwell too much on the past. Laid on the couch as his boyfriend pampered him, he was thankful more than anything. When he'd first got the news about his aunt, Paul had never told him he was sorry for his loss; 'At least it wasn't your real mom', he'd said. 

And then the suspension came. 

The hotel room in Straad had been so cold and lonely; with no friend to turn to, Michael had suffered in his solitary grief. Outside, the snow had fallen, and the bitter ice crept into his heart. Tibur was the warmth and affection he'd so desperately longed for. It had just been a little delayed is all, probably because of the weather.

As Tibur and Michael sank into the comfort of their deepening relationship, across the road, Tristan was sulking. When Caleb picked Tristan up from the supermarket, he was sulking. When he gave him dinner, he was sulking, and when he asked him to pick a movie to watch, he was sulking.

"Baby, if you don't tell me what's wrong I won't know who I need to punish" said his husband.

"Are we boring?" asked Tristan, "Whether it's my ring or our wedding plans, Millie and Tibur just take it for granted. We're the old married couple, while all Millie wants to know about is how things are going for Tibur and Michael! 

Just as we were all leaving, she asked Tibur if he was going to meet his boyfriend and had all kinds of questions for what they had planned. As soon as I said 'I'm going to meet Caleb, too!' they just stared at me. How am I supposed to show off when no one seems to care?"

It was one thing if Tristan's friends had lost interest in their relationship, what did it matter to Caleb what they thought? But it was another if Tristan was affected; even worse, if he started to lose interest too.

"Why not invite them along to the anniversary party?" Caleb suggested, "We're holding it in the Grand Ballroom of the M Hotel. I'd say there's no better place to show off on the whole island."

Tristan nodded, his pout still unabated.

Caleb's second approach to appease his dissatisfaction fell flat. After running Tristan a bath and offering to get in with him, his husband was not convinced.

"You're too big" said Tristan, "All the water would spill out."

As Caleb was about to leave, he called him back.

"Stay and talk to me though?" he requested, his naked form sinking beneath the water-line, "I'll get lonely otherwise."

 Caleb pulled an ottoman over to the tub and sat beside his husband. He kept his hands to himself, sure that he'd jump in fully clothed if he got carried away by touching him.

"I thought you liked how domestic we are" said Caleb, "I hadn't realized we got too serious too fast. I'm sorry if you're missing out on all the excitement of a new relationship."

"I love our life" Tristan told him plainly, "It's cozy and settled, and it makes me feel secure. I know you're always watching me, and there's none of those nerves that come with dating. It's just that it's the first time I've had what I want... but for everyone around me it's no big deal. As far as they know, nothing's changed. I just want them to be as excited as I am."

"You're excited..?" asked Caleb.

"Of course I am!" said Tristan, "Look at all the things I have! I've never been this content in my life!"

That was the truth of it. After years of people telling him how lucky he was to have so little, he'd finally gotten everything; and yet those words of affirmation had long since fallen away.

"I'm lucky" he said, "And I'm happy... so why do I feel like I need someone to remind me that I am?"

Caleb placed his hand on Tristan's as it gripped the side of the tub.

"I wonder sometimes... maybe it's because Dad's not around. He's the one person in the world that I know would have been over the moon for me. For us. That feeling is missing... and it hurts."

He looked so vulnerable, alone in the bathtub as the steam turned to droplets, and mixed with the tears that ran down his face. 

"I am happy" he told himself and his husband, "But it feels almost futile when there's no one to share it with."

Caleb knew better than to suggest himself. However much he loved him, he could never replace the support of his father. All he could do was sit with him, until the temperature began to cool, and the tears were drained away with the bathwater.

"I feel better" said Tristan, his husband wrapping him in a towel and squeezing him tightly, "Thank you."

Regardless of the milestones they'd skipped through, Tristan was grateful to have his hair dried and his pyjamas laid out for him on the bed he shared with Caleb. I am lucky... I am happy, he told his reflection in the mirror.

When he came into the living room, Caleb put his phone down. His attention was solely on the man in the bunny pants as he took his place on the couch, and snuggled into his embrace. He kissed the top of his sweet-scented head, and vowed to remain by his side through every moment of sadness.

Reaching over to the coffee table, Tristan grabbed his husband's phone.

Caleb tensed imperceptibly.

"Unlock it for me" Tristan said.

"The code hasn't changed" Caleb told him, "It's still our anniversary."

0429

He could barely remember the first day they spoke, or the time that Caleb had helped him to his feet on the streets of Cabi. The days that flooded his memory were all so much more recent. 

"I want to take a photo" Tristan explained.

"The kittens?" asked Caleb.

Tristan smiled and switched the camera to face them, his handsome husband appearing in the corner of the frame.

"Come closer" Tristan told him.

The couple on the screen looked kind of awkward, unsure of how best to pose or what kind of expression they should show. Whichever way you looked at it, they were two people that had never shared a selfie together before.

"Husband" said Tristan, "Lift your chin a little, the glare's reflected in your glasses."

Caleb obediently followed his instructions, trying his best not to be too outshone by his dazzling husband. As Tristan took shot after shot, Caleb lost his focus, transfixed instead by the movements of his mouth on the screen. 

"Husband, you're not looking into the camera" Tristan chided.

From the first day he'd seen him, he'd wanted him. The way he talked, the way he moved; there was nothing about Tristan that didn't excite him. That feeling had never gone away.

"I love you" he said, as Tristan captured the moment.

His husband smiled and kissed him, filling Caleb's camera roll with images of their intimacy.

Finally satisfied with their impromptu shoot, Tristan sent the photos to himself. He padded off to the bedroom and returned with his phone and a blanket. 

"I like this one" he said, promptly setting it as his wallpaper, and staring at his screen as he settled back onto the couch.

I am lucky, he told himself, I am happy... I am loved.

As though the photograph was his only proof, he examined it in detail until his eyes could no longer stay open. Caleb carried him to bed, determined to fill an album with the happiness he would give him.