Emilio Francine De Ramos

The campus was quieter than usual today. A cool breeze drifted through the trees, carrying the scent of rain and fallen leaves. I sat at our usual spot at the hut where Yuwan and I spent most of our time between classes. It had been our refuge, a place where everything made sense. But lately, it felt more like a waiting room, filled with unspoken thoughts and things left unsaid.

I stared at the open notebook in front of me, though my mind was anywhere but on the assignment I was supposed to be working on. It felt like every moment I spent here waiting for Yuwan was just another reminder that I wasn't enough anymore, that I wasn't the person he turned to first.

Footsteps approached. I didn't need to look up to know it was him. Yuwan always had a casual, carefree way of walking, like the world moved at his pace, not the other way around.

"Emil!" He greeted me, his voice bright and full of energy. I glanced up, trying to mask the flicker of hope that always surged when he arrived. For a second, it felt like the old days, just us. But then I saw the gleam in his eyes, the same look he always had when he talked about Heather.

I forced a smile. "Hey."

Yuwan plopped down beside me, close enough that our shoulders almost touched. He was always like that, so effortlessly physical. It used to make me feel warm and safe, but now it just reminded me of how close yet distant we had become.

"I need to tell you something," Yuwan said, his voice tinged with excitement. "I've been thinking about this a lot, and I feel like I'm finally ready."

I set my pen down, bracing myself. Something about his tone made my stomach churn.

He grinned, nervous but happy. "I'm going to tell Heather how I feel. I'm going to ask her to be my girlfriend." The words hit me like a blow to the chest, knocking the air from my lungs.

For a moment, the world around me blurred, the wind in the trees, the distant hum of students talking, even the sound of my own breathing. All of it faded, leaving just the ringing silence in my head and the heavy weight of his words pressing down on me.

"You... you're going to ask her?" I repeated, my voice barely above a whisper.

Yuwan nodded, completely oblivious to the storm raging inside me. "Yeah. I've been hanging out with her for weeks now and I feel like she's the one. I know it's crazy knowing that we've only known each other for a month but the more time I spend with her, the more I realize how much I like her. She makes me happy, Emil."

Happy. That word echoed in my mind, sharp and painful. I wanted to be the one who made him happy. I wanted to be the person he thought of first, the one he couldn't wait to talk to at the end of the day. But instead, that person was Heather.

"That's... great," I managed to say, forcing the words out even though they felt like shards of glass on my tongue.

Yuwan smiled, completely unaware of how shattered I felt inside. "I knew you'd support me. I mean, you've always been the one who had my back, right? And I just... I really needed to tell you before I did anything. You're my best friend, Emil. I wanted you to hear it from me first."

Best friend. Those words twisted the knife deeper. I wanted to be more than that, so much more. But it was too late. He'd made his choice, and it wasn't me.

"That's... yeah, of course. I'm happy for you, Yuwan," I lied, hoping he couldn't hear the tremor in my voice.

"Thanks, Emil. It means a lot." He nudged me playfully, like nothing had changed. Like my whole world hadn't just crumbled in front of me.

After Yuwan left, to hang out with Heather as usual, I stayed in the hut for a long time, staring blankly at the pages of my notebook. My heart felt heavy, like it had been crushed under the weight of everything I couldn't say. Eventually, I packed up my things and started walking home, alone. The streets were wet from a light drizzle, and the sky was a dull gray, matching my mood perfectly. Each step felt harder than the last, as if my legs were weighed down by the grief settling in my chest.

I replayed Yuwan's words in my mind, over and over, like a song stuck on repeat. Every time I thought about him confessing to Heather, my chest tightened painfully. I told myself I should be happy for him. He was in love, and that was supposed to be a good thing. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake the overwhelming sadness that clung to me like a second skin.

I had always known, deep down, that Yuwan didn't see me the same way I saw him. But knowing it and hearing him say it out loud were two very different things. That night, I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. The room was dark, the only light coming from the faint glow of the streetlamp outside my window. My phone buzzed on the nightstand. I glanced at the screen.

Yuwan: "Thanks again for listening earlier. I really appreciate it, Emil. I hope everything goes well tomorrow. Wish me luck?"

I stared at the message, my heart twisting painfully. How could he be so oblivious? How could he not see how much it hurt me to watch him fall for someone else?

For a moment, I considered not replying. But that wasn't who I was. No matter how much it hurt, I couldn't bring myself to push him away.

Me: "Good luck, Yuwan. I hope she says yes."

I hit send before I could change my mind, then set my phone down and turned off the lamp. In the darkness, the tears finally came, silent and unstoppable.

===================================

The next day felt like walking through a fog. I went through the motions, classes, assignments, and small talk with classmates, but none of it registered. My mind was stuck on one thought: by the end of the day, Yuwan would have a girlfriend, and I would be left behind.

At lunch, I sat alone at the hut, hoping that Yuwan wouldn't show up. I wasn't sure I could handle seeing him, knowing what he was about to do. But of course, the universe wasn't that kind.

"Emil!" Yuwan's voice called out, cheerful as always. I looked up and saw him walking toward me, his usual grin plastered on his face.

"Guess what?" he said, practically bouncing with excitement. I didn't need to guess. I already knew.

"She said yes!" Yuwan announced, sitting down beside me. "Heather said yes!"

His happiness was palpable, radiating off him like sunlight. But all I felt was cold.

"That's... great," I said, forcing a smile that didn't reach my eyes.

Yuwan was too wrapped up in his own joy to notice. "We're official now. I can't believe it! I mean, I thought I'd be nervous, but it went perfectly. She was so happy, Emil."

I nodded, my throat too tight to speak.

"Thank you for being there for me," Yuwan said, his voice softer now. "I don't think I could've done it without you." The irony of his words hit me like a punch to the gut. He had no idea how much it hurt to be the one who helped him win someone else's heart.

By the time I got home that evening, I felt completely drained. I sat on the edge of my bed, staring blankly at the wall. I thought about all the times Yuwan had promised me that I'd always come first, that no matter what, we'd always have each other. But those promises felt empty now, hollow echoes of a friendship that had changed beyond recognition.

I realized, with a sharp pang of sorrow, that I had to let him go. Holding on to him, holding on to the hope that things would go back to the way they were, would only hurt me more in the end.

It wasn't going to be easy. It was going to hurt like hell. But I knew, deep down, that I couldn't keep waiting for Yuwan to choose me. Because he already had.

And it wasn't me.