Chapter 3.

Envy doesn't kill, but it mortifies.

¿What am I going to do? I look at my reflection in the water, but I don't recognize myself. I don't feel like the original. I don't know if I'm capable of picking up a gun and firing it. If I recreate everything from the beginning, ¿will I ever feel like myself again? But then what am I? A loser? What the hell am I, and ¿what am I doing searching my heart of stone for the longing for the past? Not just any past. And I'm envious of Patrick, who didn't know that the Defiler and he were different characters...

It mortifies me to know that I'm going to die at some point and that I'll never again feel what I once felt when I lived inside the Defiler, when he controlled everything, when he created the Serpentor.

Those were the days when there was no longer any desire to love, only the adrenaline of danger; I can't forget you, even though I've begun to. Sometimes your memories wander through my mind, and at night they become more frequent.

 When I wake up, those who were once children and are now grown are around my bed, staring at me as if I'd just come back to life. I know they miss the Defiler too, but I'm not one of them. I can't help it. I just want to shoot myself so I don't live in this agony.

I don't know how the others have fared during these 10 years, or how they've coped with their lives, but mine has become a hell of memories. I don't want to die. I want to be eternal, but eternity is a lie to me.

Doing things right was all life demanded, but fate also failed to show that I was dying for myself without knowing it, so much so that I can't imagine a future living under this skin that's dying with the years...

I wish there was a way to turn back time and not experience what hurts. The memory of the past makes me suffer. Now maybe I need to turn into a gargoyle to have a heart of stone and not be able to feel, but I'm so unlucky that if I tried, I'd only die in the process...

...AHHHHH, I'M SICK OF THIS...

Patrick's emotions were understandable. He had known the Defiler since he was a child. They both lived in a single body and shared the same mind, oblivious to each other's existence. 

But the moment he had to leave and face the other, what he saw was a soulless body, empty, hollow, that only knows how to hate those who once waged unparalleled adventures by its side...

Feeling like he could die now. It consumed him. He'd been locked away in the mansion for 10 years, living off his fortune. At first, Brianna and Richthofen waited for hours for him to leave the room, but over time, his screams of hating them, not wanting to see them, and telling them to rot ended up isolating him, because that seemingly inseparable trio simply fragmented…

There were cracks and enormous divisions between the three of them, but the one struggling the most with loss wasn't Brianna, the one who had injected me from the very beginning, in the form of revenge, with the DNA that would change everything, that would make me love the Defiler in a way he himself didn't know I loved him…