It was the week before our important business trip. Things at the office were hectic. Everyone was busy preparing, even though only Jake and I were going. A real team effort. 

I still hadn’t had time to actually talk about our relationship with Jake. Since there never was any time to speak, I figured actions spoke louder than words anyway, so I made an effort to show my interest, or rather, fake some interest, whenever a chance appeared.

Lunch at SOAP’s canteen was organized chaos, the sheer quantity of employees present was enough to give you a headache with all the chatter and noise. I usually avoided it when I was this busy, opting to eat at my desk to better be able to focus on my work. I needed to make an effort with Jake, though, so I braved the canteen just to spend time with him. 

We were standing in line, he was just behind me. You couldn’t really have a serious talk in line for lunch, but every time I tried to even hint at or steer the conversation towards us, things got awkward. Jake must be more shy around his crush - me - than I had anticipated. When we talked he was having a hard time making eye contact and constantly fidgeting. When I asked him a question he would repeat it as if buying time before answering. 

The long line moved slowly, but we finally made it to the hand-sanitizing machine right before the trays and food. I put my hand under the machine, which let out more liquid than I needed, drenching my hands. Without thinking too much I motioned for Jake to give me his hands so I could wipe some of the extra on his hands. Our eyes finally met briefly and he blushed as our hands touched. He quickly looked around to see if anyone had noticed, but everyone around us seemed to be too preoccupied with their own business to pay any attention to us. I did however catch Alec diverting his gaze, he and the rest of our team were a couple people in front of us in the queue. I wasn’t too worried, Alec wasn’t one to gossip. I had dated him after all, so I knew he wasn’t the kind of person who talked behind people’s backs. Besides, touching hands wasn’t enough to make anyone suspect anything. 

After getting our food we made our way to the rest of our team that had already sat down at a table. Alec made space for me to sit beside him, but I pretended not to notice and sat down next to Jake instead. 

I wasn’t a fan of pickles so I carefully picked them out of my meal. I was too old to be picky with food, at least according to my mother, and maybe some people would force themselves to eat what they didn’t like in front of others, but I just didn’t want to. Why should I suffer through something as disgusting as pickles just for other people? Me not eating them didn’t hurt them, so why should they care? Ridiculous. Just as I thought this Holly spoke up. 

“Oh, wow. Hana reminds me of my 12 year old daughter, she’s a picky eater, too.” Holly said, her tone clearly mocking me, echoing the sentiment that being “picky” with food was for children, that I had heard so often before. “I haven’t met an adult who picks out something from their meal before. I thought we all just naturally grew out of that phase.” Holly continued innocently, like she wasn’t trying to embarrass me in front of the team. 

I cared a whole deal about my reputation and how I was perceived, and could force myself to do most things, act and play nice when needed, but food was the one thing I couldn’t - wouldn’t - pretend about. This was another reason I avoided the canteen whenever possible, I didn’t want to deal with people commenting on my eating habits. Before I could respond, Alec did instead.

“Come on, Holly, leave her alone. Everyone has foods they don’t like.” Alec said weakly in my defense. I wanted to roll my eyes, I didn’t need him to stand up for me. 

“Yeah, but it’s such a waste of food too…” Holly tried to argue. Not backing down, but visibly irritated to be challenged, when she thought everyone would agree with her. 

“Not to worry, I love pickles.” Jake smiled brightly and nonchalantly ate the discarded pickles from my plate. The look on Holly’s face was priceless. I almost snorted, but managed to keep a straight face. 

Holly was sullen for the remainder of lunch. The rest of us chatted and I had a surprisingly fun time. Maybe having people stand up for me wasn’t so bad after all. Maybe I didn’t need to fight all my battles on my own. 

🝔🝔🝔

The rest of the week flew by. I took notice of small moments with Jake, like how he held the door for me or how we shared an umbrella. It was unexpectedly nice to be cared for… and to care for someone else. Before leaving work the night before the business trip, I even left an encouraging handwritten note on his report as I handed it back to him. I couldn’t help stealing a glance to see his reaction as he opened it. For some reason, I wanted him to be happy about it… instead he looked thoughtful, like he was trying to figure something out. I wasn’t disappointed, I couldn’t be… I didn’t care, I decided. I shook off the strange feeling and left the office.