It’s just holding hands, right? It’s not a big deal. I roll my eyes and laugh.

And there it was—his hand in mine, and he had the biggest smile on his face. He might as well be the happiest person on earth in that moment. But for me? Nothing. I had stopped feeling a lot of emotions since my breakup.

So we walked hand in hand. Maya asked if I was okay. I was. I was okay.

I’ve always had long, slender fingers. But in his hand, I felt small. His hands were warm and big. Too tight. It hurt a bit.

“You can loosen your grip a bit, you know. I’m not going anywhere,” I said, laughing. The drinks had made me more giggly than usual.

“Ah! I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.” He held my hand more gently. “Better?” Those damn dimples again.

I nodded.

After walking for a bit, we reached The Old Tavern Bar. The only place students seemed to gather. I would never understand why. It was small, reeking of smoke, alcohol, and sweat. But I couldn’t complain. The city we live in is tiny, and even though I didn’t really like it, I was here.

Loud music. A lot of people. Makes sense—the new semester starts in a few weeks, and there were new students everywhere.

I don’t know when I let go of his hand, but I did. Now I was talking to some of my other friends. I didn’t know where Kai and Romi were, and honestly, I didn’t care.

Maya pulled me near the crowd where people were dancing. I love her. I love dancing with her. I was happy I’d agreed to come. I let loose and danced.

Other people were around me—we laughed, giggled, spun, and let it all go. And then I saw him.

He was talking to a girl. Good for him, I thought. At least he had someone to talk to. But then someone else, and another, and another…moving from girl to girl like he was collecting points or something. Huh. Player.

Confused, I wondered what he wanted. Before I could think more, he spotted me and came over to dance.

He dances like an old uncle, all stiff and awkward. He grabbed my hands, lifted them in some weird formation, and I let him. I didn’t want to, but I felt trapped in some polite obligation.

He couldn’t dance. It was embarrassing. But I was too drunk to protest. I just wanted to dance with others, but I didn’t want to be rude. So, I let it be. I danced his awkward dance and then took a break.

“I’m going out for a little fresh air,” I told Maya. She just nodded. I slipped out into the night.

Outside, I walked a few steps and leaned my back against the wall. Not bright, but enough to see. Just twenty or so steps from the bar. The fresh air felt good. A chilly night, the breeze brushing my cheeks like a gentle kiss. I took a deep breath.

“Hey, you okay?”

Before I could even see who it was, I knew. Kai.

I straightened up and smiled.

“Yep! All good. Just wanted some fresh air,” I said, sliding a cigarette between my lips. But no lighter. Romi had it, and I had no idea where he was.

I shoved the cigarette aside, annoyed. And all this time, Kai just stood there. A looming presence.

“Well, why are you out here? I saw you talking to some girls. Anyone you’re interested in?” I teased.

“No, none of them are my type. Just networking,” he said. I snorted. Networking. Sure, hon.

“But you… you are my type. You’re beautiful, and your eyes…”

Yeah, I knew this was coming. I laughed awkwardly.

“Oh… really? Well, I don’t know, haha.” I had no idea how to deal with this. “I… uh… you’re not my type, and I… I’m not looking for anything. Uhh… yeah, but you’re cute, um, and I know a lot of other girls might like you…”

I said anything and everything without wanting to sound rude. Classic me. Too polite for my own good—just like my dad.

“We can get to know each other. Like friends?” Yes. That was good. Perfect.

I nodded and started heading back inside. Maya was with other friends, and she asked again if I was okay. I wasn’t really. A little less okay than before, but I didn’t care. We danced again.

But this time he was there—again, dancing, again getting too close. Had I been sober, would I have acted differently? I don’t know. I let him dance with me anyway. Too close. I could feel him behind me. I had no idea what was going on anymore. Too much to drink. Fuck it.

And for the first time in a while, I’d forgotten about my ex. I danced and danced until my breath ran out. I needed a break. So did Maya, I could tell.

We stepped outside with a few other girlfriends, laughing, holding each other. The open space was perfect. We stood there, talking, laughing loudly. Some friends asked about him—Kai. They asked if I was okay. I was okay… I didn’t care. They just wanted the best for me, and I assured them I was good.

We changed topics, laughed some more, gossiped a lot.

Then Kai came out too. And his eyes… they were on me. I could feel it. And so could my friends.

He came up to us. But really, he came up to me.

We made small talk while my friends headed inside. I started walking in too, and noticed him crouched down—tying his shoelaces.

I waited. My friends were already inside. He looked up, and I could read his expression. Surprised? Confused?

“Oh, you waited for me? Thanks.”

Was it that big of a deal? I didn’t think so.

“Yeah, sure. No problem!”

But that small gesture… it changed something. I didn’t realize it at the time, but later it became another tiny, seemingly unimportant event. The little wait while he tied his laces—so small, so minuscule, so normal. But not for him. For him, it was as if I had brought the stars to him.

And from that moment, he only wanted to be near me. Only me.