Emilio Francine De Ramos

Waking up the next morning was like surfacing from a nightmare that hadn't quite let me go. My head pounded, and my mouth was dry as sandpaper. The events of the previous night flooded back, Yuwan's voice on the phone, his arm around my shoulder, the unbearable warmth of his care. And the worst part? It only made me feel emptier.

But there was no time to dwell. My phone buzzed, dragging me from my thoughts. It was Yuwan.

Yuwan: "Hey, sorry if I left early. I had to accompany Heather to the park for her mourning run. I came back and left a breakfast sandwich in the fridge and some medicine for your headache. Are you really okay? Wanna talk about it at lunch later?"

I stared at the message for a long moment, thumb hovering over the keyboard. It should have been a relief, Yuwan, reaching out, trying to bridge the distance. But all I could feel was the ache of being his fallback option. I started typing a reply but stopped halfway. I couldn't keep pretending everything was fine. So instead of texting back, I threw my phone on the bed and dragged myself to class.

Later that afternoon, as I sat slumped on a bench outside my building, Yuwan's voice cut through the noise of students bustling around me.

"Hey!" He dropped down next to me, grinning. "Skipped my morning class to catch up with Heather. She's dragging me to her place to binge some show. Are you sure you're okay? Should you be even at school today?"

"I'm fine, just a slight headache but I took some meds, the ones that you left."

"Good, I don't want anything bad happening to you," He smiled, his eyes softening as he looked at me.

"Thanks."

"Oh I almost, I wanted to ask you something." I raised an eyebrow, already bracing myself for whatever favor was coming.

"Heather's been feeling kinda weird about some stuff with her club," he continued. "I wanted to distract her but I have class until 7 pm so I can't be with her. I thought maybe you sub for me on this and spend some time with her. Get to know each other. I want both of my best friend and girlfriend to be friends as well."

There it was, the favor I hadn't asked for but couldn't refuse. A small, toxic part of me wanted to say no, to remind him that I wasn't a replacement for his absence. But the bigger part of me, the one that still longed to be needed by him, gave in.

"Sure," I muttered, shrugging. "I guess I could."

Yuwan beamed, the kind of smile that had always made my heart betray me. "Awesome. Thanks, Emil. I owe you one."

And with that, he was gone, leaving me once again on the sidelines, playing the role of the dependable best friend.

===================================

We decided to go to a coffee shop at the mall. Heather was already waiting for me there, she was wearing an oversized hoodie and a bright smile that somehow felt contagious.

"Hey, you came!" she said, her excitement catching me off guard. "I thought you might bail."

I gave her a half-smile. "Nah. I promised Yuwan that I could keep you company."

Her expression softened. "I really appreciate it. I know things have been... complicated."

We settled into a booth by the window, the world outside blurred by the condensation on the glass. Our drinks sat untouched between us, the soft hum of conversations and the occasional clink of mugs filling the space. I had braced myself for awkward silence, ready for forced small talk that neither of us wanted. But to my surprise, it didn't feel like that.

Heather made it easy. She didn't bombard me with questions or talk just to fill the quiet. Instead, she let the conversation unfold naturally, with the kind of warmth that made me feel like she wasn't just being polite, she wanted to be there.

At first, I kept my responses short and guarded, like I was speaking through a crack in the wall I'd built around myself. But the more she talked, the more I found myself opening up in ways I hadn't with anyone in a long time, not even Yuwan.

"You ever just...feel like there's too much?" I asked quietly, staring at my untouched coffee. "Like, everything's weighing down on you, work, school, people, and you're just pretending to hold it all together?"

Heather tilted her head, a sympathetic look crossing her face. "All the time," she admitted. "It's like, even when everything's fine, it's still... not fine, you know?"

I looked up, startled that she understood so quickly. I'd never expected her to relate. "Yeah. Exactly like that."

She stirred her latte slowly, as if organizing her thoughts. "It's hard balancing everything. I've got this position in the club that's supposed to be fun, but it's not. Feels like I'm always trying to prove myself."

"Prove yourself to whom?" I asked.

She gave a small, bitter laugh. "Everyone. My club, my parents... myself." Her smile faltered, but she held it, like someone used to making things look okay even when they weren't. "I guess I just don't want to disappoint anyone. Or let them see me fall apart."

For a moment, I saw past her perfect exterior, the easygoing girlfriend, the social butterfly everyone loved. She wasn't just a glossy picture. She had cracks, just like I did.

"And then there's family stuff," she added, her voice softer. "My dad's always traveling, and my mom... well, let's just say she thinks everything I do should already be flawless. Keeps me on my toes."

"That sounds... exhausting," I said, meaning it.

She smiled at me, one of those small, tired smiles people give when they're grateful to finally be understood. "It is."

The tension in my chest eased a little. I hadn't expected this kind of vulnerability from her. Heather wasn't trying to impress me or size me up like the other girls in Yuwan's life. She was just being real.

And somehow, the words kept coming. I told her about the stress of working shifts I couldn't afford to miss, the way school felt like a ticking clock I could never keep up with, and the loneliness that followed me home at the end of every day.

"It's like... you're surrounded by people, but you still feel like you're on your own," I said, staring at the table as the words spilled out. "Like even when you're with someone, there's this distance you can't cross."

Heather nodded slowly, her eyes soft with understanding. "It's not just you, Emil. I've felt that, too."

The way she said it, so simply, made me feel seen in a way I hadn't expected.

"You're really close with Yuwan, huh?" she asked after a moment, her tone gentle, not prying.

"I guess so," I whispered, unsure how to explain the ache tied to that closeness. "Or... we were close."

Heather rested her chin in her hand, watching me with a gaze that felt less like an interrogation and more like an invitation to be honest. "I think Yuwan didn't forget you. I mean, he talks about you all the time. It's like... you're still a huge part of his life, even if he doesn't always say it."

I scoffed, but not out of anger, more like disbelief. "I doubt Yuwan needs me, he's got you now. He doesn't really need me anymore."

Heather shook her head, leaning forward slightly. "It's not like that, Emil. You're important to him in a way I'll never be. I think... he's just afraid of losing you."

Those words hit me harder than I expected. I stared at her, thrown off balance. "He said that?"

"Not directly." She smiled gently. "But you know Yuwan, he's not great with words. He's more of a 'show, don't tell' kind of person."

I laughed softly, despite myself. "Yeah. That sounds like him."

Heather's expression softened, as if she could sense the shift in me, the way my walls were slowly crumbling. "Look, I get that it's complicated," she said. "But you don't have to choose between being close to him and to me as well. It doesn't have to be one or the other."

Her words made me pause. I hadn't realized until now how tightly I'd held on to the idea that she was the problem, that if it weren't for her, things would go back to the way they were. But sitting across from her, hearing her out, I knew that wasn't true.

We sat there for a while longer, talking about everything and nothing. At some point, I even caught myself smiling, really smiling, like maybe the world wasn't as heavy as I thought. The truth settled in quietly, without fanfare: I didn't have to hate her. Heather wasn't my enemy. She wasn't taking Yuwan away from me. She was just someone who loved him too, and maybe, just maybe, that was okay. But that realization terrified me more than anything. Because if I didn't hate her, what excuse did I have left to keep pushing Yuwan away?

After a while, we left the coffee shop and wandered through the park, the golden light of late afternoon casting long shadows across the ground.

"Uhm so," Heather began, kicking a pebble along the path. "Can I ask you something serious this time?"

"Sure," I said, bracing myself.

"Do you... Do you hate me?" Her voice was soft, but the question hit me like a punch to the gut.

I stopped walking, staring at her in disbelief. "What?"

Heather shrugged, stuffing her hands into her hoodie pockets. "I just... I know things have been weird between us. And I get it, you know? Yuwan and I started dating, and suddenly everything changed."

I wanted to deny it, to tell her she was wrong. But the truth was, she wasn't. Things had changed. And I had hated her for it, at least at first. But standing there, watching her look at me with such quiet vulnerability, I realized that hate wasn't the right word anymore.

"No," I said finally, the admission surprising even me. "I don't hate you."

Heather smiled, a small, grateful smile that made something inside me twist.

"I'm glad," she whispered.

The rest of the evening passed in a blur. We found a spot by the lake, sitting on the grass as the sky darkened above us. The conversation drifted from light to serious and back again, the kind of easy, natural flow that felt almost too good to be true.

And somewhere along the way, I realized something that shook me to my core; I liked Heather. Not in the way I'd liked Yuwan's other girlfriends, distantly, politely, with the vague hope that they'd disappear. I liked Heather for who she was.

She was kind, funny, and smarter than she gave herself credit for. She loves Yuwan, not for his looks or his popularity, but for the person he is underneath. And as much as it hurt to admit, she made him happy in a way I never could. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but it was the truth. Heather wasn't the enemy. She wasn't the villain in my story. She was just... perfect.

And the worst part? I couldn't hate her for it. Not anymore.

As the night grew colder, Heather drove me home again, the radio playing softly in the background. Neither of us spoke much, but the silence wasn't uncomfortable.

When we reached my dorm, Heather turned to me with that same gentle smile that had started to feel dangerously familiar.

"Thanks for today, Emil," she said quietly. "I had a really good time."

"Yeah," I mumbled, suddenly feeling like a traitor. "Me too."

I opened the car door but hesitated before stepping out. "Heather?"

"Yeah?"

I looked at her, my heart aching with the weight of everything I couldn't say. "Take care of him, okay?"

Her eyes softened, and she nodded. "I will."

And just like that, the moment passed. I climbed out of the car, watching as she drove away, the taillights disappearing into the night.

That night, as I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, the realization hit me like a freight train. I couldn't hate Heather because there was nothing to hate. She wasn't the reason Yuwan had drifted away. She was just a girl who loved the same person I did, a person who had chosen her.

And that was the hardest truth of all. Yuwan had found someone who made him happy, someone who completed him in a way I never could. It hurt like hell, but I knew I had to let go. Not of Yuwan, not entirely. But of the anger, the jealousy, and the misguided hope that things would go back to the way they were.

Because love wasn't about possession. It was about wanting the best for the people you cared about, even if it meant stepping aside.