Job interviews. I've never had one before... I don't know what to expect. I'm dressed in nice clothes that I bought a week ago with my limited budget. I have a very small apartment now, a month after being let out of that hellhole.

I don't see him anymore- I'm sure I used to be crazy now. If I got anything out of that stay, it was losing my "insanity", I guess.

I can't say I don't miss it.

The bus arrives and I board it, on my way to my interview. I stand and hold one of the handles on the roof of the bus, already starting to disassociate. Before I know it, another few months have passed. I'm still taking the medication that was prescribed to me in the hospital. I feel... numb.

My job is surprisingly stable- especially for someone with no college degree- but God, is it boring. Is this what people mean when they say "corporate hell"?

We're discussing a business trip today at work. I kind of want to go, just to get out of my daily routine for once. It's not like it's even somewhere entertaining- just some nowhere town across the state line.

The rest of the day is a blur, like usual. I'm assigned to the trip, and two weeks later we depart. Carpooling with my coworkers... fun. I zone out on the car ride there, as always. I'm not interested in getting to know anyone I work with... it's been too long since I had a positive interaction with another human being. I'm not sure I would know how to do it, honestly.

Hours of a not-so-silent car ride later, we arrive in the town I hadn't bothered to learn the name of. We pile out of the car like children from a school bus excited to leave school for the day. They might pretend to like each other, but it isn't as convincing of an act as they must think it is. I part from the group at the hotel entrance, checking into my room by myself instead of making exhausting conversation about my nonexistent family and marriage life. Maybe I'm a drag to be around.

I haul my bags up to my room, taking the stairs rather than being trapped in an elevator with people that could be absolutely anyone- that could do anything. When I make it to my room, I drop my bags on the floor and take a look around the dingy room, instantly reminded of the motel I stayed in for weeks on end after I was released from the mental facility. It's not a nice feeling.

I change into my business attire and return to the lobby to meet back up with my coworkers. They're chatting idly about god knows what when I approach.

"Oh, Shiina." Fake smiles. Faker body language. They've all become attuned to calling me by my family name rather than my given one, probably because it makes me uncomfortable to be addressed so casually by these people.

"Hello," I respond, my tone even. "Are we ready to go now?"

"...yes." One responds, her tone clipped. She's clearly put off for a reason I don't quite get right now. I think her name is Christine...? She's older than me, but one thing that I like about this setting is that I'm not obligated to treat anyone with respect if I don't want to.

Once again, we all travel together to our next destination, but this time I can walk as far away from them as I wish to. Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike my coworkers- I just don't trust them. At all. Why should I? They've never given me any reason to. It's been a while since someone has.

We arrive at the conference room in the hotel, ready to get this over with. I voice my opinion about that when I'm sure the others agree, just for the sake of small talk. I don't want them to dislike me, exactly. I'm just not interested in being best friends with all of them. Or vulnerable with any of them. Perhaps I'm fickle about all this.

The meeting is lengthy, stretching from three in the afternoon to eight in the evening. By the end, I'm so accustomed to nodding and acting jovial that I don't think twice about agreeing to go out somewhere with my fellow workers. I'm starving, and I didn't quite catch their question, so I assume they're talking about getting something to eat, since we all missed dinner.

I was definitely mistaken.