Their entire intercourse didn’t last longer than 10 minutes, yet the excitement continued to flow through Mika’s body for a significantly longer duration.

But as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end.

The next day, Mika woke up with a huge headache and even bigger guilt. Reality hit him hard once he realized what he had done the previous night: picking up a stranger in a club and having a one-night stand in a club’s toilet while being called ‘honey’ the entire time.

He slammed his hands onto the bathroom sink.

How the hell did I end up giving him my number? He brushed his fingers through his hair, recollecting an SMS he got from that guy:

[Honey, you were awesome yesterday. Are you open to a threesome? I’m planning to throw a little party at my place. Let me know what you think. I’m sure some of my friends would love to meet you.]

Mika felt like shit. He knew he was never gonna reply to that message.

What he wanted was to be loved, not fucked by a random dude. Those few moments of pleasure were not what he was looking for. He made a huge mistake.

He wanted to meet someone who would accept him.

Who will open his arms and heart for him.

Lend him a shoulder to cry on.

Someone with whom he could go through life together.

Is this what awaits me? Hooking up with strangers? I... I don’t want this… he looked at the bathroom mirror – tears were coming down from his eyes. He couldn’t stop them.

A cold shower helped Mika wash away the dirt, but the feeling of shame remained. As soon as he got out of the bathroom, he headed to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of wine.

After he finished drinking, a pleasant silence returned to his mind, helping him momentarily forget his miserable situation. Since that moment, the amount of alcohol Mika drank has been significantly increasing each day.

Mika slowly raised his head but couldn’t look into Aleksandr’s eyes. He opened and closed his lips several times, unable to utter a single word. Then he walked to the living room and sank onto the couch, burying his face in his hands.

After a moment of hesitation, Aleksandr followed him. Deciding that keeping a distance might be a good idea for now, he took a seat in the armchair. “I-I’m sorry if I have offended you, that wasn’t my intention,” he began, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his eyes cast down.

Mika’s reaction made him aware he might have overstepped, so he took a moment to pause, trying to gather his thoughts in his head as to what he should be saying next.

Aleksandr has always found it challenging to engage in conversations about non-technical and non-work-related topics.

When it came to programming, he was unwavering. As someone who had been coding since he was a kid, this was his entire world—a space where he felt comfortable and an area he mastered. He confidently discussed complex technical aspects and consistently proved his point of view was correct.

But talking with people outside of work? That was a different story, something far beyond his comfort zone. Humans are complex beings. You could say the same sentence to ten different people and get ten different reactions.

Their emotions, backgrounds, upbringing, and even the countries they grew up in—all these factors played crucial roles and couldn’t be ignored. It wasn’t a matter of black and white. There was always a spectrum of colors, something beyond the binary of zeros and ones that added complexity.

People didn’t operate like computers, where the outcome was simply true or false.

This is why Aleksandr didn’t like interacting with others and always tried to limit conversations to a bare minimum. Of course, this approach had its downsides, as those who didn’t get a chance to know him better were quick to put a label on him and make their own assumptions. They saw him as a heartless person who thought highly of himself and was full of pride.

This time was different though, and Aleksandr had to muster his courage. He didn’t want to be misunderstood by Mika.

“You invited me to your house, and I’m your guest. I shouldn’t have made that comment. That was a mistake from my side,” Aleksandr continued, his face reflecting an apology and his soft voice carefully choosing every word.

Following a quiet moment, Mika spoke, “This is not your fault at all. It is me who should be apologizing to you. I’m…embarrassed that you had to see it. This is not who I am, this…” his voice trembled as he was trying to finish the sentence.

Mika couldn’t understand himself and his own emotions. Why was he behaving like this? When did he lose control over his life? Why was the person who had always smiled so brightly and cheered up others now mostly sad? Why was the fact that he had gotten into Mnx, his dream company, not making him happy anymore?

Mika gradually lifted his head, but his eyes still avoided Aleksandr’s. Fixing his gaze on the wall, he felt his face flush red because of what he was about to say. “I don’t know why I’m doing this, but I feel like I can trust you. The truth is, I’m having a really hard time now. I feel like my life is broken.”

There was something about Aleksandr that made Mika feel at ease—a feeling he'd had since the moment they met during the interviews. He couldn't name it; it was something words couldn't describe.

Taking a deep breath, Mika made up his mind to tell Aleksandr everything that had happened to him in the past year. He decided to be an open book in front of a person he barely knew. Something deep inside him told Mika this was the right thing to do. He chose to trust his gut feelings.