I frowned as I finished my tray, my mind still weighed down with how I had insulted Viktor. The girl who brought me my food was a stranger to me, but she politely told me she would be bringing my meals in place of the sisters, who were relieved from duty for a while. She seemed nice, but at least Alora would have been able to tell me what I could do to apologize.

I glanced over to my green journal, still conflicted over what to do or say. I could tell from my window that the sun was starting to rise, and I knew that meant my mate was getting up for the day work. I didn’t know how to tell him what Virgil had done, and I didn’t want him to feel driven to act because of his wolf. My own wolf whined softly and I sighed, laying down on my bed.

“I shouldn’t care this much,” I muttered to myself, almost annoyed that I felt obligated to anyone in the mansion. I had only been here for what, four days? But I could still see the fear and sorrow in Amelia’s face, and my anger returned all over again. It was a face I had seen in the mirror for too many years, and to see that expression on such a bright and cheery girl made me want to hunt down Virgil myself. “Damn it.”

I groaned as I finally gave in, reaching for the journal and opening to our last conversation. I was surprised to find words already written on the page, and I could tell they had been written quickly.

I heard what happened. Take all the time you need and don’t worry about me. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you.

My heart ached as I read the short message, his grief and rage obvious in the messiness of his handwriting. It was as if he had been moments from snapping the pen and I sighed heavily as I closed the journal. I wasn’t sure how to respond, or if he even wanted me too. I glanced at the tray again, deciding I couldn’t sit still anymore.

I carefully opened my door, surprised by how few servants were walking about. The hall was almost silent as I stepped out, quietly closing the door behind me. I walked down the hall back to the kitchen side room, my heart pounding the whole time. No vampires would be allowed in the southern wing until Virgil and his family were dealt with, so it was safe here, right? Viktor likely would be even more upset with me if I went back to the library, but despite the books, sitting only made me think. I needed to move, and not feel contained.

I stepped into the kitchen side room, holding the tray and I almost immediately locked eyes with Natalie. She was overseeing another servant as they gave blood, and she motioned me to the side as I heard the machine powering down. I moved myself into the corner as she gave them their food and shooed them out of the room. I heard as she locked the door behind them, turning a stern expression to me.

“What are you doing out of your room, Kira? You’re not supposed to be wandering around alone,” she reprimanded, and I couldn’t help my flinch, gripping the tray tightly as she scolded me. “If one of those Nastases cornered you–”

“I can’t sit still,” I finally whispered, not even really speaking to Natalie as I refused to look at her. I would often do the same when my mother would scold me in public for something I hadn’t done, always answering the question she never wanted an answer for. It was always merely to shame me, make me feel little and pathetic and I could feel the same feeling coming over me now with Natalie’s scolding. “I don’t want to think.”

I stayed in the corner as Natalie stopped talking and I heard her heavy sigh as she started to walk toward me. I instinctively moved deeper into the space, as if I was trying to disappear and run away from her. She paused almost immediately, and I chanced a glance up to see the concern on her face.

“What did that cretin say to you?” Her brown eyes were stern, but I could see the slightly concealed anger in her dark features. I looked away again, tightening my hold on the food tray as my heart pounded in my chest.

“He… called me a beaten and broken wolf, a tragedy to everyone around me,” I finally whispered, jumping as I heard Natalie hit her hand on the counter. I glanced to see her cursing under her breath as she turned away from me, angrily walking around the counter to lock the door to the kitchen. My fear spiked as I considered she was trapping me in the room, and my wolf immediately tried to find a way out. I didn’t want to be trapped again; I didn’t want to be hurt again!

“Now, no one will bother us,” Natalie sighed, and I watched with fear as she turned to look at me again. She motioned me forward with a tight smile, and I obeyed, hoping if I listened, she wouldn’t hurt me. I saw the regret in her face as I stepped forward and I stopped as she shook her head. “I’m not going to hurt you Kira. I locked the doors so no one would know you left your room.

“You went through something awful, and I can understand not wanting to feel trapped,” Natalie once again motioned me forward and I walked toward her, slightly less afraid as I handed her the empty tray. She was smiling softly as she accepted it, taking a step back before she turned away, setting it in a window filled with other empty trays. “I’ve known since I first saw you that you’ve been abused, and I’ve tried to avoid triggering you.”

“You…” my voice trailed off as I remembered how Natalie never touched me without letting me see she was going to, and how she clearly telegraphed what she was going to do when she came near me. She was… trying to help me? My thoughts turned to Viktor, and I grabbed the edge of my shirt to play with as I looked back to the floor. “I… insulted Viktor.”

“He’s used to it,” Natalie chuckled, and I looked up to see her leaning on the counter across from me, giving me space so I wouldn’t feel cornered again. “Most of us have no problem telling him how we feel. He doesn’t take it personally.”

“I compared him to Virgil,” I whispered and heard as Natalie hummed, understanding why it bothered me. I twisted the cloth in my hands, unable to convince myself to look up again. “I… want to apologize to him.”

“Well, he’ll likely turn it on you, saying he should apologize,” Natalie huffed and I nodded, surprised by how well she knew the prince. I finally looked up as I heard her snap, and I saw as she motioned me toward the door out to the garden. “Why don’t you go out to the garden, and gather some yellow roses and white orchids? No one is out there this early, and I’ll drop them off at Viktor’s room for you.”

“Flowers?” I asked curiously and watched as Natalie chuckled, nodding her head as she smiled.

“Don’t let his facade fool you, that boy is as soft as they come. That garden is precious to him and his mother, and he loves flowers as much as he loves the idea of love,” Natalie grinned and I leaned in, curious to learn more about the prince. “He always idolized his parents and their connection, and that garden is what’s left of that. He’d appreciate the gift.”

“What happened to his father?” Natalie shook her head as her smile faded at my question and I felt the disappointment fill me. Another story no one wanted to share.

“His father… died among wolves, and the queen and prince have never quite gotten over not getting to say goodbye,” I was shocked when Natalie told me the truth, and I looked to the floor as I considered what she said. His father had been killed by wolves? Why? How? And if that was true, why didn’t he hate all wolves? Why did he let a wolf care for the garden? “Now, quickly, go gather the flowers so we can get you to your room before someone raises a fuss.”

I nodded as she opened the door, and I did my best to push down my thoughts. Viktor was far better of a person than I gave him credit for, and I quickly walked along the path to the flower garden. The scent of cold water coming off the lake was calming in the slight sunlight and I took a moment just to take in the view from the outside. It was beautiful and peaceful, the quiet still almost enough to make me feel safe. I rested my hand on the gate to the garden as I stared at the lake, my wolf relaxing as I watched the gentle movement of the water. No wonder my mate enjoyed working in the garden.

“Yellow roses and white orchids…” I reminded myself as I stepped into the sacred space, determined to do right by Viktor.